MaryAnne

MaryAnne had walked just a little ways from her busted patrol car when she heard the call for help. She stopped walking and listened, trying to determine which direction it was coming from. It sounded like the voice was somewhere ahead of her. She continued walking, hurrying her steps and looking around intently. When she came around the bend of the road, she saw the old junk car turned on its side and determined that's where the voice had called from. She walked briskly toward it. "Hello?" she said. "Somebody here?" MaryAnne walked around the car and saw Hilery on the ground, pinned under it. "Gah! My goodness..." (Cue Hilery!)

It had been the most hellacious ride she had ever experienced, and if she could remember any of it, she'd be seriously wondering how the heck she was still alive. Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane had been eagerly awaiting the arrival of a not so long lost cousin, Cully Dawson from Hollywood. His visit was to have been a surprise, although Rosco started to figure things out the previous day when he saw a letter on the booking desk amongst MaryAnne's things. Although he didn't read it, he recognized the return address in Los Angeles. In fairness to MaryAnne, he played dumb. Of course now, Mother Nature had dished out her own surprise. Once Rosco and Brian were out of the house, MaryAnne had spent most of the morning cleaning the house and getting the guest bedroom ready. She then headed out on her routine patrol. When the storm hit, she had no choice but to ride it out. She tried out running it but like an angry child, the tornado caught her, picked up the patrol car and threw it like a toy into a rocky ditch. The whole ordeal should have killed her. The patrol car was totalled, the frame having been completely busted. Windows were smashed out and fenders were buckled. Yet somehow, held by her seat belt in the drivers seat, MaryAnne Coltrane survived. She was unconcious for a good half hour or so until she slowly began to come around on her own. She had no idea where she was or what had happened, but her entire body ached from the ordeal. Her head didn't feel all that great either. She moved slowly, checking that everything still worked....one arm...another....one leg...the next. So far so good. With a shakey hand, she unclipped the seat belt and then reached to try to open the door. It was busted. But the window was open. Taking in a deep breath, she moved to climb out the window. She got as far as sitting her posterior on the door frame and she rested a moment. She looked across the vast white roof of the patrol car and noticed that a set of gumballs were sitting cockeyed off the back window. Gumballs? She eased the rest of her out of the window and stood for a shakey moment leaning next to the mortally wounded Fury. It was then she looked at her blue uniform sleeve....the patch on her shoulder....the badge on her shirt. Her head pounded now. Although physically she was sure she was going to be all right, she suddenly got this sickly feeling that something was desperately wrong otherwise. She looked around her and saw she wasn't too far from the road. With careful steps, she walked to it... (Cue anybody!)

ROFL! Ya know I saw that ya posted here and I was like, "naw, she didn't do what I did, did she?" Well lo and behold ya did. And I gotta chuckle outta it too. KHEE! Lisa

Details on this section coming soon....

Howdy folks! I set this General Discussion section under Fanfiction for all those occasions when somebody's got something to say but it's not a RR story, a story in progress or a Fanfic announcement. So you've noticed I moved some topics out of the RR section and over here. =) Lisa

Happy Birthday Scoot!! =)

Let Scoot know that I hope everything's okay. Lisa

DOH!! I hope your computer gets fixed soon! Lisa

I've always liked Johnny Cash and yes he's a legend. Believe it or not Scoot, it is actually kind of on-topic. Johnny did a song for the DOH cast album in 1981 called "The General Lee." The General Lee Johnny Cash I'm a Charger... That charges through the night Like an organge bolt of lightening Passing every thing in sight I'm the best pal the Duke boys ever had I'm thunder on the highway lookin' bad, bad, bad I'm the knight... Like the kind in shining armor With my polished body gleaming I'm a fighter and a charger(?)... If trouble comes your way just ask for me My friends all know me as the General Lee I'm the General Lee A piston pumpin', Steal belted calvary I'll never let you down when your riding with me Buckle up and I'll show you what I mean.. Take a look back there, Sirens blowin' Red lights flashin' everywhere We'll cross the field and we'll be runnin' free... They'll eat dust with compliments of me... The General Lee I'm a hero... And that's how I'll make you feel When you're riding shotgun with me And the law is at your heels I'm glory bound and when the chase is done I'll take off through the mountains and have fun, fun, fun I've got style Tearing through the curves Let my flag wave proudly to the people that I serve I'm number 1 and I will always be The Pride of the South they call the General Lee I'm the General Lee A piston pumpin', Steal belted calvary I'll never let you down when your riding with me Buckle up and I'll show you what I mean.. Take a look back there, Sirens blowin' Red lights flashin' everywhere I'll jump that pond an we'll be runnin' free And they'll go swimmin' compliments of me The General Lee... The General Lee... General Lee...

Updated: March 2006 1. Stories posted under this category are NOT open for just anyone to post to. The author has to do one of two things. They either have to.... A. Put a specific request in their post saying they are looking for suggestions or help with a story, and whether or not they want folks to respond privately (ie, email, private messages) or if the author wants to open it up for folks to post to the thread, keeping in mind that said author is free to request that any inappropriate posts deleted from the thread. Or... B. Author has asked another author to co-write a story, thus they take turns posting back and forth. If you have not been asked to post, either privately or by public announcement from the author here under this category, then please don't post! 2. Please keep in mind that there is wide range of ages of folks who visit HNet. Try to keep the language at a minimum. try keep your story within the G to PG13 range. Slash fics are not allowed at HNet.

Howdy Country Cousin! Welcome to Hazzard County. I'm yer local countie mountie deputy MaryAnne Coltrane (aka Lisa). Yes, as Hilery said we are made up of some interesting town folk. Heh! Make yerself at home and have fun!

Yes, no rice burners please. =) 1973 SD 455 Trans Am. (imagine me suggestin' that....tsk. LOL) Besides 60's and 70's machines I'd like to make a pitch for a few 80's cars, such as Monte Carlo's, Olds 442's and Buick Grand Nationals (ahem, and Trans Am's too...but most folks poo poo me on that). Granted, the 80's are really not known for any muscle cars (lookit what Dodge and Plymouth were putting out at the time: Reliant, Aries, Horizon, Omni, a hatchback Charger, aka Plymouth Tursimo aka Chrylser Laser. Ack. Although I drove a Horizon and it was a damn realiable car but not too fast. LOL) ANYWAY! If they do opt to use some great classic cars in the new Dukes movie, let's hope they actually USE the cars....and not just use them for automotive eye candy ala Nash Bridges. I wanna see Hazzard dirt flying from the back tires please!! =)

MaryAnne chuckled. "It took all of us to wrestle a confession outta this desperate criminal. He's all yours Sheriff." MaryAnne saluted Rosco with screwdriver in hand. She then turned to Val. "I appreciate it, Val, but I'm gonna skip on lunch right now. " She smiled and picked up the box of gunpowder. "Have a glass of chocolate milk for me." MaryAnne started to head for the door. "That's FOR me, not ON me. Khee!" The Deputy disappeared out the door.

Takes Brian's hand and shakes it with a smile. "We're still kin. Always."

"I got a room full of witness to your Coltranian slip. Khee!" MaryAnne removed the last screw on the bottom hinge. "And I think I got this pretty well under control here..." The bottom hinge came loose and MaryAnne pulled the door forward, although still attached by the lock it was just enough for Brian to step through. She looked at him. "Yew can come out now. Khee!"

MaryAnne stopped turning the screws for a moment. "What? YOU superglued the drawers?!?!" Pretends to be screwing the screws back in again.... "KHEE! You rascal! Rosco was sure mad aabout that." MaryAnne resumed removing the screws. The top hinge came loose. MaryAnne pointed the screwdriver at Brian. "And I did just get that lil' confession outta ya. KHEE!!"

Keeps a steady eye on Brian for a long moment and then reaches into pocket, removing a length of fuse. She looks at it wistfully and sighs and then looks back at Brian with a grin. "Yer right. I wouldn't." Drops the fuse length into the box and tucks the match back into her other pocket. She then pulls the screwdriver from her back pocket and reaches up to the top hinge of the cell door. "But the look on yer face has been worth the price of admission, cousin...." Starts to unscrew the top hinge.

MaryAnne grinned. "Sure I would....You want outta here, don't ya cousin?"

MaryAnne looks back at Brian in mild surprise. "Hmmm.....perhaps dynamite won't work. Excuse me y'all, I'll be right back...." MaryAnne ran out of the booking room and came back several moments later with box full of gunpowder and a match. In her back pocket was a screwdriver. She put the box down infront of the cell door and held the match up to Brian. "How's this for a firecracker? KHEE!!!"

MaryAnne looked at Mac and Daney. "Believe me, Daney, Brian's already received the 2nd degree from me. And Mac, I appreciate the offer of help, but as a deputy of this county, I put him in there, and I gotta take him out---I mean GET him out." Looks back at Brian with a grin. "I meant get on that cousin."

MaryAnne sighed and put the CB mike down. "Yeah, he ain't respondin'." She turned and looked at the holding cell Brian was in. "Hmmm...." She studied the bars and brick walls that surrounded it. "Anybody got any dynamite?"

Sighs and thinks for a moment. "Brian's right, the law put 'em in here and the law's gotta get him out." MaryAnne placed her gun back in her holster and stepped over to the radio. "Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane callin' Sheriff Rosco. You gotcha ears on cousin? I gotta...uh...problem, here at the booking room. Come back."

MaryAnne holds her breath and releases the hammer, sending the bullet zippin' to the lock..... ....and immediately bouncing right off it. PING! ZIP!! ZIPPOW!! "DOHHO!!!" MaryAnne hit the floor as the bullet zipped around the booking room, pinging off the clipboard, walls, the booking desk, the metal radio set, back across the room and finally breaking through the glass of the door of Boss's office. MaryAnne slowly stands up and looks at the hole in the glass of the door. "Uh, okay....obviously THAT didn't work..." Looks at Brian under the bunk. "You can come out, Brian it didn't work."

Looks at Brian. "You WHAT?!?! You stuck a dinner fork in here one night?? Cripes, no wonder the @#!$%ing thing won't open!" Pauses and takes a breath. "Yer right, two Coltranes one lock..." Looks over at Mac. "Oh hey, Mac. I think I got it covered here but don't go nowhere....hmmm...." Looks at the lock and then looks down at gun. "AH HA!!" Pulls gun from holster. "Stand back, Brian, I'm gonna try to shoot it." Takes aim at the lock....