(Season 5 Coy Meets Girl) Coy Duke:"We just drove into World War 3!" Vance Duke:"Holy Hannah, it was in the papers last week!" Coy Duke:"World War 3?" Vance Duke:"No, the national guard is holdin' war maneuvers out here! An' we're right smack dab in the middle of it!" Coy Duke:"If one of those shells hits that truck, it's goodbye antiques!" Vance Duke:"If one of those shells hits any of us, it's just plain goodbye!"

(Season 1 Double Sting) Bo Duke:"You gotta tell me one thing! How'd you fake the plague?" Tom Colt:(Laughing.)"That was simple! I'm allergic to Poison Ivy right?" Bo Duke:"Yeah!" Tom Colt:"So when I get in jail, I just peel back the tape and expose the Poison Ivy. Then I get the rash, the swelling, I even get a fever. Then, I fake all the other symptoms of the plague, like delirium, crampin', all that sort of stuff you know? An' then, man, it looks good, really good! Just like the plague! It was beautiful, really beautiful! Anyway, do you realize that there ain't no doctor ever seen a case of the plague in this part of the country?"(Tom Colt who was sitting down, got up to go stand behind Bo and Luke while explaining about faking the plague. He sneaks away to the General Lee, while he was standing behind Bo and Luke who are still sitting down on the creek shore.) Bo Duke:"Gosh, it sure is gonna be somethin' to work with a real professional!" Luke Duke:"You figure we can ever be that good?" Bo Duke:"I don't know. It's gonna take a lot of-"(General Lee starts up. Bo and Luke run to it trying to stop Tom Colt from stealing it and leaving them stranded. He escapes, in a cloud of dust, just as they get there.) Waylon Jennings:"Y'all realize they ain't no closer to Daisy than they were in jail!"

(Season 2 Days of Shine and Roses)Boss finds out Rosco failed in his mission to sabotage Uncle Jesse's moonshine race car Black Tillie II. Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg:"Rosco! The next time you sabotage a car, make sure it's mine! That way, it'll run forever!" Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:"Well, what I should've done is put sugar in that gas tank instead of water!" Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg:"Not if you would've used the water on your brain! If it's thick enough to clog your head, just think of what it would've done to Jesse's car!"

(Season 2) Days of Shine and Roses  Rosco is working on a crossword puzzle. Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:"Hey Boss? What's a five letter word fer dunce?" Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg:"R. O. S. C. O.!" Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:"Ooh ooh it fits! It fits!"(Realizing Boss Hogg has picked on him.)"It jit jit ooh!"

(Season 1 Repo Men) Rosco:"Well, I ain't to crazy about the idea Boss. I mean, what is it exactly that we're framin' the Duke Boys for?" Boss Hogg:"It ain't "we" Rosco! It's more like you! Those Duke Boys settin' a very dangerous example for the other folks here about, they'll get everybody thinkin' that the duly constituted authority in Hazzard County -" Rosco:"Namely you-" Boss Hogg:"Namely me can be cut sassed an' crossed! I want those boys behind bars!" Rosco:"Well, I'll throw 'em in jail! I'll throw 'em in jail fer the whole weekend! That way, they can't race on Saturday! That'll just break their redneck hearts! Kew Kew!" Boss Hogg:"I'm talkin' prison! 2 years fer breakin' probation!" Rosco:"Well Boss, I wouldn't exactly call that breakin' probation you know. It's not as if they're runnin' 'shine or out there poachin' them little deers!" Boss Hogg:"Rosco, you better get creative, or else you will be-" Rosco:"The night watch rent-a-cop at the drive-in deli on Frontage RD.!" Boss Hogg:"Bingo!"