August 9, 200917 yr Author Bo bit his lip harder, not to the point to draw blood but hard enough. He knew he shouldn't have talked to Daist about it, he knew one day she'd spill it to Luke. "I guess at the time I did..."
August 9, 200917 yr The words hit him like a double-edged word plunging straight to his heart. He couldn't speak, couldn't think...all he could do was feel...and he felt rotten.
August 9, 200917 yr Author "I mean he....he was your real little brother...and...you know, you had a chance to get to know a part of the family you never got to have because of the accident...I just...well it was nothin' t'do with what you did...just me feelin' jealous more than anything I guess..."Bo said softly, looking down at his feet.
August 9, 200917 yr "Bo..." he began not knowing where to start. "Look Judd...technically he is my brother... and I admit...part of me thought...maybe...I could be as close to him as I was to you...that...we'd all three be...Duke boys...but..." he shook his head. "He ain't a Duke boy...He's a Kane. And he ain't my brother...you are. You always have been."
August 9, 200917 yr Author Bo swallowed gently and looked up at him slowly with blue eyes that hadn't really changed since they were kids. They still shone a brilliant baby blue colour and still were filled with that kind of childish innocence. "I know...but...I was jealous that...Judd is your brother...you know. He doesn't just call you his brother, he really is your brother by blood and parents...no matter what we do i'll still just be like a brother to you...I can't ever be that properly..."
August 9, 200917 yr "Bo...thing is...I didn't have a choice with Judd...he was born my brother...you ...I had a choice...I chose you to be my brother...that's why...." he swallowed, speaking his heart like this something he rarely did. "That's why I love ya as much as I do...we're closer...than real brothers...we picked each other out...."
August 9, 200917 yr Author Bo swallowed hard as Luke said all that, used to Luke speaking his mind and occasionally his heart to him but never in that much depth.
August 9, 200917 yr Luke bit his lip. He wasn't used to speaking like that either a warm flush came over his face, hoping Bo understood what he was trying to say.
August 10, 200917 yr Author Bo bit his lip gently, before cracking a small smile and saying jokingly.."C'mon now Luke, you know I like girls...sorry cousin I just don't swing that way...."He knew though that the look in his eyes would show Luke that he understood and that he felt the same way. It never needed to be said between them really, it was a mutual understanding between the two.
August 22, 200917 yr Author "Why don't ya go get some more sleep cousin...i'll finish up in here...you'll only hurt yerself anyways if yer not concentratin properly..."Bo said gently as he turned back to get to his work.
August 22, 200917 yr "I can finish in here an' still have time t' nap," returned Luke as he picked up a shovel.
August 22, 200917 yr Author "Your not going to see Zac today?"He questioned, glancing over his shoulder at Luke.
August 22, 200917 yr Author "Then aintcha gonna need the energy to keep up with him rather than waste it here, nap fer ten minutes and feel even more drained? Shoot you looked after me when I was a kid, you oughta know how much work kids can be..."Bo replied with a chuckle.
August 22, 200917 yr "I know but..." He didn't want to explain how he felt guilty... How he was scared that leaving Bo to do all the work would just give more reason for him to be upset. "I'll manage."
August 23, 200917 yr Author "No you won't and you know it....just go Luke, i'll handle things here with Uncle Jesse okay...if yer serious about doing this you need t'be showin' them social workers yer good fer Zac..."Bo said seriously although he wasn't looking at Luke, more just focusing on his work...just the talk about what had happened with Judd had made his shoulder tingle with long gone pain.
August 24, 200917 yr Luke sighed heavily, but nodded not willing to argue. Slowly he went inside, not sure that he would sleep, his mind racing and his heart troubled.
September 17, 200916 yr Author Bo bit his lip as he heard the sigh, closing his eyes a little once he was sure Luke's footsteps had retreated indoors. Standing up straight he ran a hand down his face with a small shake of his head....he should have known Daisy wouldn't keep something like that a secret and he wasn't sure whether he was pleased it was finally out in the open or whether he was angry at her for letting it get there. Sitting down on a hay bale, he glanced around, not being able to help but see everything that was changing already. Luke wasn't out here joking around and laughing about with him as they got on with the chores, there was no banter, there was no friendly conversation about the next dance or the girl of the week...instead Luke was inside, tired and worrying about the future and what it would bring. Suddenly, the four year age gap between the two of them had never seemed as big as it did now...Luke had grown up somewhere in that 4 year gap...and Bo still felt a long way behind.
September 17, 200916 yr Luke laid on his bed tiredly, but stared up at the ceiling. He was thinking about Zack...but now also thinking about Bo. How could he have never noticed? Why didn't Bo tell him? They had never kept secrets like that from one another before. It hurt.
September 17, 200916 yr Author Biting his lip a little, Bo stood back up and got back on with the chores. In some ways Luke was right, it really did help to work...it stopped you thinking so much about other things.
September 17, 200916 yr An hour later Luke was on his way to go see Zack. He had given up trying to sleep after first half hour of failing to, so he figured he might as well go do something useful with his time. He pulled to a stop in front of the orphanage.
September 17, 200916 yr Author As usual there was the noise of kids, playing, crying, shouting, screaming...just getting on with what they did while one person tried to keep everything in order. As always...Zack was sitting at his window, having actually fallen asleep now though.
September 17, 200916 yr Luke bit his lip as he saw him, going in to the boy's room and putting a hand gently on his shoulder. "Hey kiddo."
September 22, 200916 yr Author Zack stirred softly at the voice, cracking his eyes open to look up at Luke, mumbling a sleepy hello in return. George was, as ever, cradled in his arms. Sighing softly, he snuggled down under the warm blankets some more before turning his attention back out the window, his head resting on the cool glass.
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