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Daddy Duke (continuation of Why is it)


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Luke grew quiet thinking about that a moment. He had always thought about Bo as the lucky one in that respect. You couldn't very well grieve over something you never had. But then again, he had to admit it must be hard for his youngest cousin to have to rely on others' memories to formulate his own parents in his mind.

Bo had always been the most tenderhearted of the family and by far the most sensitive. Luke had always figured he didn't mention his parents because to him, his parents were Uncle Jesse and Aunt Lavinia...no one else. But now another thought occurred to him. Maybe it was because it hurt him to think about the people he would never have a chance to know.

Luke's face paled as he thought about that and an overwhelming feeling of stupidity cast its shadow over him. "Great Luke...here you go opening your mouth for once trying to tell Bo how bad you got it...expecting him to understand...when there's no way he ever can...and that fact hurting him besides...you sure know how to pick the time to talk..." chastized Luke to himself as two guilty tears escaped from his eyes.

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Uncle Jesse saw the tears and knew what Luke was doing....whenever it was something wrong with Bo, Luke always found a way to make whatever it was his fault. He loved his younger cousin who was more like a baby brother to him, and Uncle Jesse knew that he couldn't stand to see that brother get hurt.

He gently wrapped his arms around Luke's shoulders and pulled him close again, wiping away the tears that Luke was shedding for Bo and the parents that Bo could never shed tears for. Bo may have been the most sensitive, but to draw tears to the young man's eyes about his parents had always been near impossible.

"Luke...don't go blaiming yourself for whatever you're blaiming yourself for...Bo wouldn''t want you to do that, you know it...you didn't know how Bo felt about all this...and you wanted to confide in him which isn't unusal...just don't give Bo anymore reason to feel badder than he already does...he recons he's hurt ya by walkin' away....he came straight in and went to his room..."

Slowly he tilted Luke's head so that their two gazes locked.

"Just take a lesson from this...you may miss your daddy...but be thankful that you have the memories of him you can treasure forever...be thankful that you got to experience and remember that hug he gave you or the kiss to your cheek or the ruffle of the hair...don't grieve over the fact you don't have them anymore...celebrate the fact you had them in the first place..."

He smiled softly.

"And as far as what Jaime said goes....i'll have you know she regretted it instantly...she's inside crying her eyes out in Daisy's arms because she thinks your gonna send her away again for being ungrateful...she didn't mean it...your more of a daddy to her than her's ever was...and I quote her when I say that..."

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"Send her away?! Good Lord Jesse, how on earth could things turn so bad so quickly?!" He shook his head not really expecting an answer. Instead he pushed himself up and headed inside, Jesse's words ringing in his ears.

"What a mess," muttered Luke as he headed inside.

He hadn't meant to be ungrateful, and he hadn't meant to feel sorry for himself, but he guessed the reasons he felt what he felt and said what he said weren't so important now. What was important was assuring Jaime that she was wanted still and somehow offer comfort to Bo that he hadn't realized Bo had been needing.

Luke did learn his lesson however. There was no place to cry over spilled milk. His parents were gone and no amount of grieving would bring them back. In fact, grieving for them only seemed to hurt the people he loved most... especially Bo.

He had to admit that it did hurt not being able to talk about what he was feeling with Bo. The two shared everything from socks when Bo's mysteriously went astray to their most secret dreams. In fact, Bo was the one person Luke felt he could confide in... more so even than Jesse. Now, he could not openly share his fears and his longings with Bo- doing so would hurt him.

And if Luke had to shut off his feelings about the past to Bo to keep him from being hurt, than that was what he would do.

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Jesse sighed as he watched Luke go...he knew when he took all three kids in that there were going to be problems eventually and he had also warned Luke that things with Jaime weren't always going to be plain sailing. And yet whenever the times did come around, no one was really prepaired for it.

Daisy looked up as Luke came into the farmhouse, hugging Jaime close to her as the 14 year old sobbed into her shoulder.

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