Dukes of Hazzard Paraphrasing/Inaccurate Quotes

[Skipper Duke]

Season 7 Cale Yarborough Comes to Hazzard 

Eddie:"Why are we runnin' from these clowns? Pull over."

Elmo:"My pleasure."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 2 The Ghost of General Lee

Phil:"Ernie, they're comin' after us."

Ernie:"Cops?"

Phil:"No. The whole blame town."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 5 Daisy's Shotgun Wedding 

(The Beaudries run the Dukes off the road.)

Luke:"Ya dang road hogs!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 4 Trouble at Cooter's 

Cooter Davenport:"Hey!"

Bonnie Lane:"Hey!"

Cooter Davenport:"What do you got here?"

Bonnie Lane:"Well, I brought us a picnic lunch. Are you interested?"

Cooter Davenport:"Well, now, Miss Bonnie, I'm interested. But I gotta work!"

Bonnie Lane:"I don't know about that Cooter. I got some Fried Chicken, I got some Potato Salad, I got some Corn Bread. Guess what I got fer dessert?"

Cooter Davenport:"What?"

Bonnie Lane:"BlackBerry Cobbler."

Cooter Davenport:"You know somethin' Miss Bonnie?"

Bonnie Lane:"What?"

Cooter Davenport:"You sure got a way with words. Come on here!"

Waylon Jennings:"Ain't amazing how a pretty girl with Fried Chicken could make a man forget about a carburetor float valve? Don't you just hate men that use women to mess up other men? Well, that carburetor float valve is somethin' that ol' Bo an' Luke could sure use on the General right about now."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 2 Find Loretta Lynn)

Waylon Jennings:"I don't believe I would try to stop that with my body. You know, they don't learn to quick, do they?" 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 5 A Little Game of Pool

Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:(Driving the General Lee after Boss Hogg crookedly won him in a game of pool against Uncle Jesse Duke.)"There's a house trailer! Git that house trailer outta there! Git! Ooh there's a dip! We'll see if we can fly!" 😂 Rosco takes the house trailer's roof off.

Waylon Jennings:"I guess it's all in havin' the right touch." 😂 

Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane:"Well, he won't have to worry about air-conditioning in that house trailer anyway!" 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 By-Line, Daisy Duke. Bo and Luke are chasing Boss Hogg's tractor thieves Vic and Corey. Cletus is chasing Dukes.

Vic:"Looks like our company's got company." 😂 

Corey:"I got his. I thought those cops was rootin' fer us." 😂 

Vic:"No. Just the Sheriff hisself." 😂 

Vic:"Well, let's not stick around, an' explain to his helpin'." 😂 

Corey:"Rattle some slack boy!" 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 7 Happy Birthday General Lee. Rosco chases the Dukes in the end. After the flashbacks are over and it's back to present day.

Luke:(To Bo. About Rosco.)"He might drive better. But he ain't no smarter." 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 5 Coy Meets Girl. 

Coy and Vance with Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco in hot pursuit. They're driving through national guard military war maneuvers, artillery shell fire. 

Rosco:"I knew those Duke Boys were tuff, but I didn't think they'd go this far!" 😂

Rosco drives in a hole. 😂

Boss:"Look what you done! We went in the hole!" 😂 Rosco gets out. Boss can't get his own door open. It's stuck. Rosco walks over the hood to the passenger side to the back door to get Flash.

Boss:"I can't get my door open! It's stuck!

Not that many mutt! Save me! I'm your leader ain't I!?" 😂

Artillery fire continues around them. They find another hole to hide in.

Boss:"Rosco, so help you, if that car gets hit, you're gonna pay for it!" (KABOOM) They duck down. The car was hit.

Rosco:"That must've been one of those 55 Pack Hausers! Done scuffed my vehicle beyond repair! Do you think I can make time payments?" 😂 

Boss:"You should only live that long!" 😂

Uncle Jesse shows up in his White Ford F Series truck.

Rosco:"There's Jesse!"

Boss:"Oh Jesse!"

Jesse:"You boys better get in here, before you're blown into the next 4TH of July!" 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 4 Double Dukes.

Luke Duke:"I can't see where the heck I'm goin'! Hang on!" The Dukes are driving with a smoke bomb that the bad guys Turk and Moody threw in the General Lee.

Waylon Jennings:"Friends an' neighbors, I don't think that jump was planned." 😂(Freezes for commercial.)

(Returns from commercial.)

Luke Duke:"We're airborne!" 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 4 Double Dukes

Bo Duke (In the backseat, looking around for the smoke bomb. He finally found it.):"I found it!"

Luke Duke:"Well, get rid of it!" 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 2 Officer Daisy Duke. Boss Hogg gets a parking ticket from Daisy Duke who's Hazzard County Deputy after getting fired from the Boars Nest and applying with the Hazzard County Sheriff's Department after passing her written and physical examinations. Boss explain that he didn't park the car his driver did he went to lunch.

Daisy:"Well, well, well. A ticket to my very favorite person. Boss You should know it's illegal to park in a red zone." 😂 

Boss:"Look, I didn't park this car here. My driver did, before he went to lunch! Now outta my way!" 😂 

Daisy:"You wouldn't wanna interfere with the law would you?" 😂 

Boss:"Daisy Duke, I'm warnin' you-" 😂 

Daisy:"Or threatenin' a police officer!" 😂 

Boss:"Alright, alright, alright. Maybe I was a little hasty. Look, why don't you take this $10 and go buy yourself somethin' you've always wanted, an' we'll call it even." 😂 

Daisy:"Bribing an officer. That's really gonna up yer tab!" 😂 (Writes out the ticket. Gives it to him.)"Have a good day Boss!" 😂 

Boss (After she leaves, tries to tear up the ticket.):"This is what I think of yer ticket too! Here! Ya see that!? Ya see!? Ya see-?" (He accidentally tore up the $10 Bill instead of the parking ticket. Realizing what he done.)"Aaah!" 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 1 High Octane. The boys and Uncle Jesse talkin' about the moonshine Uncle Jesse Will be running in Sweet Tillie/Black Tillie.

Uncle Jesse:"Rosco Will go thru this thing from frame to engine block, lookin' for the shine." 😂 

Bo:"Yeah. An' Luke an' I will have it all the time." 😂 

Uncle Jesse:"No. No. I'm gonna do the runnin'." 😂 

Bo:"But if you got it in the car with you, they're gonna find it." 😂 

Uncle Jesse:"Not if it's hid right." 😂 

Luke:"Well, how can you hide it?" 😂 

Uncle Jesse:"That my friend, is the trick." 😂 He hid the shine in the gas tank and ran the car on it.

[Skipper Duke]

Season 1 High Octane

Waylon Jennings:"Sheriff Rosco seen cars like this before. He knows a runner when he sees one." 😂 

Rosco:"Put 'er right there! Alright, shut 'er down! She's ridin' a little low ain't she Jesse?" 😂 

Uncle Jesse:"Well-" 😂 

Rosco:"We're gonna have to look at 'er!" 😂 

Uncle Jesse (Casually stepping out of the car.):"Just help yourself Rosco." 😂 

Rosco (Tosses keys to a Deputy. Not Enos another Deputy. These Georgia episodes had a fully staffed Sheriff's Department.):"Alright boy, take 'er apart!" 😂 After a search Rosco underneath the car, nothing is found by him or that Deputy of his.

Rosco:"It's clean as pin, you old coot! Now you poured out that booze before you got here, didn't you!?" 😂 

Uncle Jesse:"I don't know what you're talkin' about." 😂 

Rosco:"Shoot!" 😂 

Uncle Jesse:"Rosco, I want this car put back exactly like it was, or I'm gonna sue the county!" 😂 

Rosco:"You wouldn't?" 😂 

Uncle Jesse:"Wouldn't I?" 😂 

Rosco:"Boys, put 'er back the way she wuz!" 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 3 Enos Strate to the Top. Bo takes a shortcut to catch the bad guys.

Luke:"How are you doing?" 😂 

Bo:"I'm just takin' a shortcut!" 😂 

Luke:"I'm familiar with your shortcuts. You're gonna drive the General to an early retirement that's what." 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 Undercover Dukes 

Bo:"Luke, how come they didn't find that camera?"

Luke:"Cuz they ain't allowed to eat on duty."

Bo:"What?"

Luke:"Want a hot butter camera?" 😆 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 1 High Octane.

Enos:"Hey Luke?"

Luke:"Hmm?"

Enos:"I sure would like to meet that lady." 😂 

Luke:"Well, not tonight, Enos." 😂 

Enos:"Ok. But if you fix me up, I got somethin' you want." 😂 

Luke:"Ok. Tell you what Enos. An even up trade. You tell me what you know, an' I'll introduce you to Roxanne."

Enos:"Ok then. You see, Boss Hogg, he knows you Dukes are gonna make a liquor run to that there contest."

Luke:"Yeah?"

Enos:"He's got Sheriff Rosco settin' up roadblocks to catch y'all. You see, Boss Hogg, he don't want y'all winnin' that contest."

Luke:"Thanks a lot Enos. I appreciate it. I owe you one."

Enos:"You sure do now Luke. Now, don't you forget now, I aim to collect now." 😂 

Luke:"Consider her yours Enos." 😂 

Enos:"Wow." 😂

[Skipper Duke]

Season 1 High Octane 

Enos:"Let's Go ma'am." 😂 

Roxanne:"I am entitled to a telephone call!" 😂 

Enos:"I know that ma'am. Just as soon as I get these boys locked up, you can make it." 😂 

Roxanne (Flirting with Enos rubbing his chin.):"Look Enos, I know, I know yer just doing yer duty. But, yer making a terrible mistake." 😂 

Enos:"Yes ma'am." 😂 

Luke pushes the glass Moonshine jug of water off the counter. It shatters on the floor, the water trails into the cell with Enos and Roxanne. 😂

Waylon Jennings:"Y'all stick around for the barbecue, you hear." 😂

Bo (Strikes a match.):"Alright Enos, now, don't either of you 2 move, or I'm gonna drop this in there, an' we're just gonna have a big Roman Candle!" 😂 

Roxanne:"You wouldn't!" 😂 

Bo:"Sure I would! We ain't goin' to prison for nobody! Alright, gimme yer gun Enos!" 😂

Enos:"Why Bo, I wouldn't use this on y'all." 😂

Bo:"Gimme yer gun Enos!" 😂 

Luke:"We know you wouldn't use it Enos. But she might." 😂

Luke locks them in the cell together.

Bo:"Are you puttin' her in there with him?" 😂 

Luke:"Hey. I promised I'd fix him up with her, didn't I?"

Roxanne:"You promised me if I arrested you fair and square, that you wouldn't resist!"

Luke:"Yeah. But you didn't arrest us fair and square! You still got them matches Bo?" 😂 

Bo:"Right in my hand." 😂 

Roxanne:"You'll blow us all up!" 😂 

Bo:"Well, you don't give me any choice. You questioned our honor." (Strikes another match.)

Roxanne:"Oh no!" 😂 

Enos:"Don't do it Bo! No! Please, ah! Ah!" 😂 The match burns out in the water at Bo and Luke's feet. Enos and Roxanne are in the back of the cell glued to the wall. 😂 

Luke:"Y'all can come down off that wall now. It's only water." 😂

Enos/Roxanne:"Water?" 😂 

Bo:"That's right. You arrested us fer transportin' water." 😂 

Roxanne:"Now how was I supposed to know it was water?" 😂 

Luke:"Well, a revenue agent oughta be able to tell moonshine from water." 😂 

Bo:"She sure didn't seem to have much trouble tellin' the difference last night at the Boars Nest." 😂

Luke:"Enos, I'm afraid we're gonna have to borrow yer squad car." 😂 

Enos:"Uh huh. Now boys, we was raised together. But now yer goin' too far! That's county property Luke!" 😂 

Roxanne:"I'll get you Dukes no matter what!" 😂 

Bo:"Bye now." 😂 

Enos:"I can't understand them boys. I mean, that's real dishonest, passin' water off as moonshine." 😂 

Roxanne (Catching on.):"Don't you see Enos!? They weren't passing water off as moonshine! They were running a blind fer Jesse!" 😂 

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 Dead and Alive

Bo and Luke are chasing the crooks who robbed the Chickasaw County Armored truck. Sheriff Little is chasing the Dukes. The Dukes stop because the road splits up, and they can't go both ways.

Bo:"What are we gonna now? This face behind us ain't exactly friendly."

Luke:"Bo, yer bein' cynical now. He's the law, he's gotta do his duty. We'll split up, an' go catch those guys."

Bo:"Ok. But you explain it to him."

Luke:"Alright. I'll do that."

Sheriff Little:"Alright you Dukes, climb on outta that there car, an' reach fer the sky!"

Luke:"Sheriff Little, listen-"(Sheriff Little won't have of what Luke is trying to say.)

Bo:"He's a Lawman an' he's gotta do his duty huh!?"

Waylon Jennings:"Sheriff Little wasn't listenin'. As far as he was concerned, the Dukes were convicted of grand theft, horse stealin' an' the sinking of the Titanic!" 😆 😂