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Dukes of Hazzard Paraphrasing/Inaccurate Quotes


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Season 2 The Meeting

Boss Hogg:"Howdy. Jefferson Davis Hogg's the name! But you can call me Boss!"

Mobster:"It's the other way around fatso! You call me Boss! Here, take care of that!"(Gives Boss Hogg the shells to throw away from some nuts he was eating.)

Boss Hogg:"What!? Aaah!"(Throws the shells down on the street beside the mobster's limo.)

Bo & Luke have been watching this exchange from over at Cooter's Garage.

Bo:"Well, he sure ain't very friendly!"

Luke:"Well, you can't hardly blame him fer not wantin' to shake Boss's hand. That's just good hygiene!"

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Season 1 High Octane 

 

Uncle Jesse:"You guys bring her around, and Cooter an' I will run the mash into the creek."

Cooter:"Naw, naw Uncle Jesse, that would be a crime!"

Uncle Jesse:"Well, that's all the evidence there is. We gotta get rid of it.

Cooter:"Well, there's gonna be some happy fish in that crick!"

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Season 4 Double Dukes 

Luke:"You better ease it up cousin, we're gettin' close to Rosco's favorite speed trap."

Bo:"Ha ha! Yeah. 10-4."

Luke:"Are you lookin' fer trouble?"

Bo:"No, I ain't lookin' fer trouble. I already got it! The dang gas pedal is stickin' to the floor! Hang on!"

Waylon Jennings:"Well, that's one way to fix it! But I don't recommend it."

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Season 3 Duke vs Duke 

Bo:"Luke. Luke, I lost all my forward gears!"

Luke:"Sorry to hear that cousin. Just keep the General outta my way!"

Bo:"Luke. I told you all my forward gears was out. But I didn't say nothin' about reverse. See you at the finish line!"

Luke:"Ain't nothin' gonna stop you now Bo!"

Boss Hogg:"That dang fool is tryin' to back 'er in!"

Uncle Jesse:"That just proves us Dukes never give up! Forwards or backwards!"

Boss Hogg:"Neither do I!"

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Season 4 Trouble at Cooter's 

Luke:"Any time now, Bo."

Bo:"Luke, I'm tryin'. The General's got some kind of weeze or somethin'. Here, I got an idea. Hang on."

Rosco:"I love it I love it! Hot pursuit. Kee Kee!"

Bo:"Hang on!"

Rosco:"Oooh Oooh!"

Cletus:"Oooh!"

Rosco:"Cletus, you dipstick! Oooh, ya done scuffed another one of my vehicles!"

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Season 4 Sadie Hogg Day

Boss Hogg is in the phone with the State Chief Bank Examiner and finds out he'll be audited for county funds and possible sign of embezzlement. The call has ended. Boss Hogg hung up.

Boss Hogg:"Of the cotton pickin' corn shuckin' pig suckin', son of a revenuer!"

Rosco:"Was it bad news?"

Boss Hogg:"No! It was a singin' candy grin! Of course it was bad news, you dodo!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

Season 5 Lawman of the Year 

Waylon Jennings:"Now, bein' 5 minutes ahead of a Duke in Hazzard don't mean much. 'Cause they do know the territory."

The General Lee makes a jump.

Coy & Vance:"Yeehaw!" They land and are now on the bad guy's tail.

Waylon Jennings:"See what I mean?"

Bad Guy #1:"It's them 2 rubes! Where'd they come from?"

Bad Guy #2:"It doesn't make any difference. There's no way they could keep up with a souped up engine like ours." Coy & Vance are still gaining.

Bad Guy $2:"You and yo souped up engine, how come they still gainin' on us!?"

Bad Guy #1 (Nonchalant.):"Beats me!"

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  • 4 weeks later...

Season 3 State of the County

Boss Hogg is riding with Rosco in the patrol car. They're chasing the Dukes. Boss Hogg is carrying and silently reading his speech which blows out the window.

Boss Hogg:"My speech! The way yer drivin', I'd rather take my chances with another bomb!"

Rosco:"Well, you want me to catch 'em, don't you?"

Boss Hogg:"Yeah, but I wanna be alive when we get there!"

Edited by Skipper Duke
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Season 3 The Great Santa Claus Chase

The bad guys who hijacked Bo & Luke's orange truck full of Christmas trees, are now repainting the orange truck yellow and swapping license plates on it.

Waylon Jennings:"Now from where I sit, this whole thing smells like it's down wind from a cow barn on a hot June day."

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Season 1 Mary Kaye's Baby

Daisy:"The Sheriff was here."

Luke:"Well, he's just gonna have to stand in line, an' wait his turn."

Bo:"Hey, don't worry about it. We already got rid of all that whiskey that was in Cooter's car."

Uncle Jesse:"Including the 'shine that's in the trunk?"

Bo:"The trunk?"

Uncle Jesse:"Yeah."

Bo:"Oh Lord."

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Season 4 Dukes in Danger.

When Rosco tried catching the Dukes again a 2nd time in reverse. After they leave, he says "I caught 'em once in reverse, I'll do it again!" He gets the car stuck in a slope. To his dog "Cover yer ears Flash. I don't want a lady to hear what I'm about to say!" He covers her ears himself.

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Posted (edited)

Season 1 High Octane.

Enos:"Luke."

Luke:"Hmm?"

Enos:"I sure would like to meet that lady."

Luke:"Not tonight Enos."

Enos:"If you fix me up, I got something you want."

Luke:"Ok. I tell you what Enos, an even up trade. You tell me what you know, and I'll introduce you to Roxanne."

Enos:"Ok then. You see, Boss Hogg, he knows you Dukes are gonna make a liquor run to that there contest."

Luke:"Yeah."

Enos:"So he's got Sheriff Rosco settin' up roadblocks to catch y'all. You see Boss Hogg don't want y'all winnin' that contest."

Luke:"Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. I owe you one."

Enos:"You sure do Luke. Now, don't you forget now. I aim to collect now."

Luke:"Consider her yours Enos."

Enos:"Wow!"

Edited by Skipper Duke
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Season 3 Mrs. Rosco P. Coltrane 

Luke:"Slow down Bo! I know we're in a rush, but let's try an' get there in one piece, alright!?"

Bo:"Uh Luke. I don't quite know how to tell you this. But I can't slow down! The brakes ain't workin'."

Luke:"Bo!"

Waylon Jennings:"Friends, them boys are havin' more trouble than a stray heifer in a pasture full of bulls!"

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