Jamanda
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Posts posted by Jamanda
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<Okay, we know the romantic songs from this musical are cheesy, but we had to include them to make it all work. Bear with us here.>
COULD BE
Later that day, Enos and Cletus are sitting at a speed trap.
Cletus: You ain’t really gonna go back are ya?
Enos: Maybe I should. After that wedding and all…
Cletus: Oh come on. Those hives were a copout and you know it!
Enos: Yeah, they were. But she was marrying me for the wrong reasons.
Cletus: That doesn’t mean she don’t want to for the right ones.
Enos: I dunno Cletus. I got a funny feeling about somethin’.
Cletus: Like what?
Enos: I dunno. I have a feelin’ somethings gonna happen.
Cletus: Oh you never know anything.
Enos
Could be!
Who knows?
There’s something’ due any day;
I will know right away
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballin’
Down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!
Who knows?
Cletus: You certainly don’t. You’re a dipstick.
Enos
It’s only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feelin’ there’s a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Comin’ to me!
Cletus: Only thing comin’ to you is another lecture for not bringin’ in enough traffic tickets.
Enos
Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something’s coming, something’ good,
If I can wait!
Something’s comin’, I don’t know what it is
But it is
Gonna be great!
With a click, with a shock,
Phone’ll jingle, door’ll knock
Open the latch!
Something’s comin’, don’t know when,
But it’s soon--
Catch the moon,
One-handed catch!
Around the corner,
Or whistling’ down the river,
Come on -- deliver
To me!
Will it be? Yes, it will.
Maybe just by holdin’ still
It’ll be there!
Come on, something’, come on in,
Don’t be shy,
Meet a guy,
Pull up a chair!
The air is hummin’,
And something’ great is comin’!
Who knows?
It’s only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach.
Maybe tonight.
Cletus: Beach? There ain’t no beach around here…
-
AMERICA
Enos: I don’t know Sheriff. I don’t like it when we’re always framing the Duke boys.
Rosco: Now Enos. Don’t you start threatnin’ me again.
Cletus: With what?
Rosco: With going back to Californy, that’s what.
Enos: It was a lot better there…
Rosco: Oh, there he goes again.
Enos
Hazzard County
My own hometown
Sure bogs a lawman down
Always the Boss bellowing,
Never my paycheck growing,
Always money owing.
And the sunlight streaming,
And the locals steaming.
I like the state California,
Cletus
But what’s so bad about Georgia?
Enos
I want to go back to Los Angeles
Plenty to do in Los Angeles
Respect from you in Los Angeles –
Rosco
They hire dipsticks in Los Angeles?
Enos
Plenty of beaches to lie on
Cletus
What’s wrong with swimming in Hazzard pond?
Enos
There I get my own patrol car
Rosco
The way you drive, it won’t get far.
Enos
Skyscrapers bloom in Los Angeles.
Cadillacs zoom in Los Angeles.
Plenty of room in Los Angeles.
Rosco
Crime is in boom in Los Angeles
Enos
Many more people in one space.
Cletus
They’ll rob you blindly with that face.
Enos
I’ll get a terrace apartment.
Rosco
Better get rid of your accent.
Enos
Life was so bright in Los Angeles
Cletus
You said there were fights in Los Angeles
Enos
I should go back to Los Angeles
Rosco
If they let you back in Los Angeles
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Okay, here we are again with the musicals. Go Tom Wopat!
WHEN YOU'RE A JET
Bo and Luke are goofing around on the farm after losing Rosco, who was chasing them for going through a phoney speed trap.
Luke
When you're a Duke,
You're a Duke all the way
There’s a system to fight
You’ve got something to say!
Bo
When you're a Duke,
If the spit hits the fan,
You got cousins around,
You're a family man!
Both
You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When Rosco is expected,
You're well protected!
Jesse <coming out of the barn>
When you’re a Duke
You’re a Duke through and through
Be your name Bo or Luke
YOU STILL GOT CHORES TO DO!
Bo and Luke: Yes Uncle Jesse.
Meanwhile, Boss is lecturing Cletus about his heritage.
Boss
When you’re a Hogg
You’ve got money to make
You can pass off a bog
For a blue shiny lake
When you're a Hogg
You're the top man in town
You're the gold medal man
With the heavyweight crown!
Rosco comes in grumpy after having lost the Duke boys again.
Rosco: He ain’t kiddin’ about heavy.
Boss: ROSCO! Don’t interrupt.
Boss
You don’t have to pay
Anybody you don’t want to
Just swindle your way
And turn around until you
Get them to pay you!
Boss: Now get out there and find something…ANYTHING…to get those Duke boys for.
Cletus: Yes cousin Boss.
Boss goes off to the Boar's Nest just as Enos comes in.
Cletus: But Bo and Luke ain’t done nothin’.
Enos: We ain’t gonna frame them again are we Sheriff?
Rosco: Oh don’t you two dipsticks know anything?
Rosco
When you're a cop
You're the pillar in town
You’ve got crooks to arrest
And Dukes to bring down
When you’re a cop
You’ve got orders to take
Cuz you took the oath
And you have to obey.
All Three
The force is in gear,
Our cars are up and rollin’!
The Dukes’ll stay clear
'Cause they know we’re patrollin’
We’ll cuff ‘em and hold ‘em!
Here come the cops
With our badges and guns
Someone gets in our way,
They know they oughta run!
Here come the cops
All you Dukes step aside!
Better go underground,
Better run, better hide!
We're drawin' the line,
So keep your noses hidden!
We're hangin' a sign,
Says "All you Dukes forbidden"
And we ain't kiddin'!
Here come the cops
And we’re gonna chase
Ev'ry last buggin' Duke
To a cell up the state.
Right up
to
prison
up
state!
Yeah!
-
The next day, T.J. shows up at the house on his motorcycle. Tommy is playing with the dog outside.
Tommy: Hi! Are you taking Lily out?
TJ: Yep.
Tommy: What are you gonna do?
TJ: Well I...
Just then, Enos comes out on his way to work.
Enos: Get inside Tommy. Mommy needs help with the dishes.
Tommy: Okay Daddy. <scampers off>
Enos: You have her back by suppertime right?
TJ: Yes sir.
Enos: Where you two going?
TJ: I was thinking of taking her over to Capitol City...if that's okay.
Enos: That'll be fine.
Lily: <comes out> Okay, I'm ready.
Enos: You two have fun.
TJ: Yessir.
Lily: Bye Daddy!
Enos takes off for work as TJ hands Lily a helmet.
Lily: He didn't grill you nearly as bad as he has other guys.
TJ: <grins> It's the Davenport charm.
Lily laughs and they take off for Capitol City to see a movie and then get some ice cream.
TJ: <licks a chocolate cone> You having a good time?
Lily: <licks a strawberry cone> Okay I guess.
TJ: Just okay?
Lily: Well, I guess this is better than the past few dates I've been on. And I won't get in trouble for it either.
TJ: Believe me. I don't want to cause trouble.
Lily: Dad isn't really that bad.
TJ: Who said anything about him? I saw you clobber Louie at school.
Lily laughs as TJ eyes a store.
TJ: Let's go in here.
Lily: Here? But it's a tattoo place.
TJ: I know. I've been here before.
Lily: You have a tattoo?
TJ: Sure.
Lily: Where is it?
TJ: Right here.
TJ pulls up his pant leg and Lily sees a small tattoo just above his ankle.
Lily: It's a...potato? Who in their right mind gets a tattoo of a potato?
TJ: I got the idea out of a book. **
Lily: I can't believe you have a tattoo!
TJ: Several of us do.
Lily: Like who?
TJ: <counting on fingers> Jethro's got one of a basketball on his shoulder...Ol' Ernie had a fire hydrant on his back...don't ask...Cherry has three cherries on her knee...
Lily: Oh yeah, she does. I saw it, but I thought it was a birthmark.
TJ: Yeah. And Cliff wants a tattoo, but hasn't gotten up the guts to get one yet.
Lily: Well...I'm sure my dad would flip if I got one.
TJ: Do you think so?
Lily grinned. Yes, she was sure her dad would disapprove. But surely he wouldn't mind if she just got a small one...like TJ's and Cherry's...right above her ankle...
Lily: Let's go in.
** Wayside School is Falling Down by Louis Sachar
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You're doing a wonderful job with it JM! The only grammar glitch I can see is with homophones (words that sound alike but are spelled differently like steel <metal> and steal <to take something>) Other than that, keep it up!
I appreciate you keeping Enos and Daisy from fooling around before marriage. I simply can't picture Enos doing that. And they are so cute! Post more soon. We can't wait to see what happens to poor little Nick! Does he ever find his little brother
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We were wondering if she finished it. They had her on one of those country shows and said she was doing a video with Sonny because she "always wanted to be Daisy Duke." What a better way to be Daisy than get Enos all wet and drive him into the pond!
Anybody know how we can get a copy of it?
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That is pa-the-tic!
I dated a guy once who played video games. NEVER AGAIN! He's married now and actually tried to pull that one on his wife. It didn't work. But they're still married! I dunno how she does it.
I've also worked with too many teenagers who are gamers. It rots their brains and does nothing for their schoolwork. They should all be grounded from it. All they want to do is be video game designers and they don't have any other goals in their lives.
The only healthy way to play video games is to go to a friend's house who will kick you out if you're there too long. Like drinking alcohol, it's one of those things that are evil if you don't use moderation.
I believe there's a website called girlfriendsgagainstvideogames and also one called boyfriendsagainstgirlfriendsagainstvideogames.
That's my soapbox. Thank you for listening.
Amanda of Jamanda
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We found another one that we missed. Can't believe we missed it either!
Daisy: Hey Enos! Anything I can do for you?
Enos: <mostly to himself> If only you knew Daisy...I mean...HI Daisy!...Bye Daisy
If only she knew WHAT?!
hee hee -
1. Forrest Gump
2. The Sandlot
3. The Princess Bride
4. Smokey and the Bandit
5. End of the Spear
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The next day, Lily goes over to the garage to get her car tuned up. Actually, she uses the excuse of tuning her car to go over and see if T.J. was there.
T.J.: <under hood> Yep, that's a busted bearing all right. Ya gotta grease those things.
Lily: Well can ya fix it?
T.J.: <closes hood> Shouldn't take too long. But it's pricey.
Lily: <sighs> How pricey?
T.J.: <grins> It's gonna cost you another date.
Lily: T.J. Davenport! You ain't even collected on the first one yet!
T.J.: You mean I gotta collect before you owe me another one?
Lily: Yes!
T.J.: Shoot, I was gonna let 'em add up.
Lily: Nothin' doin'.
T.J.: Are you always this stubborn?
Enos: Sometimes she's worse.
Lily: Dad! Where'd you come from?
Enos: Across the street. Cooter! My car done yet?
Cooter: <coming out> Yessir Sherriff. That'll be $50 and 42 cents.
Enos: Ding dang it. Prices gone up.
Cooter: Inflation you know.
Enos: <takes out ticket book> Gets you out of five parking tickets this time.
Cooter: ENOS!
Enos: Plus 42 cents, cash on the barrelhead.
Enos rips up the tickets and pays Cooter. Cooter almost throws the ripped tickets up in the air, but catches himself.
Cooter: <frowns> Thanks a lot Enos.
Lily: He'll wreck it by tomorrow.
Enos: That's enough out of you little girl.
Lily: I am not a little girl!
Enos: You are to me.
Enos takes off and Cooter goes back inside.
T.J.: Where were we?
Lily: You were going to tell me where you're taking me on a date tomorrow.
T.J.: I was?
Lily: Yes. You said you had a splendid afternoon all planned out.
T.J.: I do?
Lily: And you'll have my car done by Saturday.
T.J.: I will?
Lily: You better, or you can just forget about another one. Bye now.
Lily strides away leaving T.J. slightly confused.
T.J.: Shucks, I don't remember saying all that. I better figure out what I'm going to do with her tomorrow.
Cooter: I must say. She ain't quite as honest as ol' Enos is. Must get it from her mama.
T.J.: Well shoot. Where am I gonna take her?
Cooter: I have a suggestion...
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Oooh Oooh! We almost missed seeing this one! Gotta love Enos stories. We've attempted Police Academy crossovers but don't remember enough of the movie.
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we and reesie are in chat now if anyone wants to come in!
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Who in sam hill is johnny?
Jim Croche also wrote Bad bad Leroy Brown
Well the two men got to fightin'
And when they picked up from the floor
Leroy looked like a jigsaw puzzle
with a couple of pieces gone
That's my favorite line
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A little later that summer, Lily goes over to the Duke farm. It's a blistering hot day and Lily finds Cherry in the tree as usual.
Cherry: There you are. Let's go.
Lily: Go where?
Cherry: Remember when I told you about skinny dipping?
Lily: Yeah. I still don't know what you're talkin' about though.
Cherry: Well, today is perfect for it.
Lily: Cuz it's so hot?
Cherry: <jumping down> Yes, and the boy's out of town. Mom and Jill had some shopping to do so we'll just take Daisy Mae with us.
Lily sees that little Daisy Mae was snoozing at the base of the tree.
Cherry: Well, come on.
They take Lucifer over to a very secluded pond surrounded by trees.
Lily: Okay, now what?
Cherry: You take your clothes off.
Lily: You WHAT?
Lily gasps as Cherry undresses herself and Daisy Mae and jumps in. Both are naturals at swimming.
Cherry: Boy does that feel good.
Daisy Mae: Me fishy! Whee!
Lily: Does her mother know you do this?
Cherry: Of course. How else would she learn how to swim? Come on in.
Lily: I don't know...
Cherry: Oh come on. Don't tell me you can't swim.
Lily: Of course I can swim. I'm just used to doing so at a beach with a swimsuit on!
Cherry: Well it can't be all that different. Nobody's gonna see ya. Now get in!
Lily looks around and remembers what Cherry said about the boys being out of town. She finally gives in and joins her cousins.
Lily: Wow! This does feel good!
Cherry: Told ya!
The girls bask in the cool water and watch little Daisy Mae chase frogs. Then they hear a car pull up. Lily lowers herself in the water and Cherry peeks through the reeds.
Cherry: Oh, it's okay. It's just your mom.
Lily: What? Mom!
Daisy: <holding Georgia> I thought I'd find you two here. How do you like it?
Lily: Uh...it's great...Mom.
Daisy: Good. Mind if I join you?
Lily: Mom? You mean...YOU do this?
Daisy: Of course. That's how I learned to swim you know. I think Georgia will like it too.
Lily just laughs as her mother and little sister join them. Daisy shows them how swimming comes natural to infants.
Lily: Did you always go skinny dipping Mom?
Daisy: Oh not as much as Bo and Luke. I used to spy on them though.
Cherry: Ew! You did?
Daisy: In my younger days. Of course, I had seen them plenty of times anyway. I was mostly trying to catch a glimpse of the other boys.
Lily: Did you?
Daisy: Well, unfortunatly all I ever saw was Cooter. And he was always covered in mud so it wasn't much. Your dad used to go with them, but he was always hiding behind something.
Lily: He knew you were there?
Daisy: No...he was just paranoid I think. But he stopped going after a while. Bo, Luke and Cooter still did, but Enos was never with them.
Cherry: How come?
Daisy: I always wondered that. But it just turned out to be a little something I had to wait to find out about.
Lily: He told you after you got married?
Daisy: Lets just say I figured it out after we got married.
Daisy smiled and held Georgia up in the water.
Daisy: Speaking of your father, I think he's watching now.
Lily: <sinking lower> I thought all the guys were gone?
Daisy: He was going to go with them, but Cletus wanted to go too, so Enos agreed to work today. Don't worry. He won't be looking at you.
Lily: Where did they go anyway?
Daisy: Over to Choctaw Lake...to do the same thing we're doing.
Lily and Cherry giggle as Daisy hold up her hand to try out some finger spelling.
Enos: <looking through binoculars> What? Get...tomatos...
on...your...way...home...now...git. Aw shoot. I didn't even get to see anything.
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When Rosco is in the gambling truck in Route 7-11, he shines his flashlight on a scanalous painting of a woman and all he can do is.
Rosco: mmmhooohsmmmm
The expression is priceless
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That's a Jim Croche song.
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim
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Jam had an 88 Chevy Corsica and once the door was stuck shut due to a hard freeze, but the window was also up. She just used the passenger side. She's not flexible enough to climb in and out of windows anyway. She sold the Corsica a few months later.
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We loved this show when we were growing up. However, Amanda wanted to go to prom with Screech and Jam wanted to go with Slater. Of course, neither of us ever did go to prom. Favorite episode: When Zack lost Screech's dog in a poker game. Wasn't it a Basset Hound? And was that the same episode with the Elvis statue?
Jam also thought that all people named Zack were blond because a Zack in her class was also blond. But then there was a Zach in Amanda's class who wasn't so her theory was thwarted.
Can you say Mavengshnup? (All the planets in order: M V E M J S U N P).
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From High Octane
Boss: Rosco, we're gonna have an alternative to fossil fuels! And don't ask me what kind of fuel fossils run on.
Then as Rosco leaves the building.
Rosco: What is "it"? Who's "he"? What kind of fuel do fossils run on?
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We have Bo, Luke, and Daisy as parents in our Next Generation series. You can find it in the Fan-Fiction in Progress forum. It has three parts so be sure to start from the beginning. We haven't updated it in a while.
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We were sure there'd already be a Dallas thread on here, but maybe not. Our Mom just announced, to her horror, that Jessica Simpson is going to be playing Lucy Ewing on a Dallas re-make reunion show. Now she knows how we feel about Jess corrupting our Daisy. What next? Johnny Knoxville playing J.R.?
Well, that might work. J.R. does get shot. -
You know the bad part of town has to be on Frontage Road, cuz that's where Shorty's All Night Rib Shack and Pool Hall is as well as the Drive-In Deli where Boss was always threatening to send Rosco as a Rent-a-Cop.
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Jesse: YOU DUMB IDIOTS! 180 ACRES OF LAND AND YOU GOTTA RUN OVER ME!?
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It's harder to tell on cats. The Flash in the movie was very obviously a boy, another reason I didn't like it. But the real Flash was a girl.
Dukes/West Side Story Crossover
in Story Ideas/Fics In Progress/Collaborative Efforts
Posted
MARIA
Later on break, Cletus and Enos go into the Boars Nest just as Bo and Luke are leaving.
Cletus: Should we go after them you think?
Enos: We’re on break. Let the Sheriff do it. That way we ain’t gotta do nothin’ dishonest.
Cletus: Uh oh. Some ugly dude noticed they left too and is going after Daisy.
Enos: WHAT!?
Ugly Dude: Hey baby. Now that yer meddlin’ cousins ain’t around…
Daisy: Get your hands off of me!
Ugly Dude: Soon as I get a kiss.
Daisy: LET GO!
Cletus: Um…Is he bothering you Daisy?
Ugly Dude: Oh shove off Chubby…I’m busy.
Cletus: Hey!
Enos: Cletus, people like this only know one language.
Cletus: What’s that?
POW! Enos flattens the guy.
Enos: A right hook.
Cletus: Shall I take him in for harassment while you uh…make sure the victim is okay?
Enos: Yeah…do that.
Cletus: Come on fella…you don’t know how lucky you are…calling me chubby is one thing, but messing with his girl? Not smart fella, not smart.
They leave as Enos checks on Daisy, who’s a bit shaken.
Enos: Are you all right Daisy.
Daisy: I…I think so. I am now Enos.
Daisy looks up at him and suddenly sees him in a whole new light.
Daisy: You…you ain’t ever done that before.
Enos: <shrugs> I never had to. They were always dumb enough to do that in front of Bo or Luke before.
Daisy: This time they were dumb enough to do it in front of you.
Enos blushes and Daisy kisses his cheek.
Daisy: Thanks Enos.
Enos: Shucks Daisy. I better go help Cletus now.
Daisy is dumbfounded. She goes on break and wanders out into the parking lot.
Daisy
Enos . . .
(sings)
The most wonderful man I ever met:
Enos, oh Enos, oh Enos, oh Enos
All the time I've known him in a moment...
Enos, oh Enos, oh Enos, oh Enos
Enos!
I've just kissed a man that’s named Enos,
And now I know that name
Will never be the same
To me.
Enos!
I now love a man who’s named Enos,
I know now I have again
The most wonderful of men
Is he!
Enos!
To some he may just be a deputy
But now I know how much he means to me
Enos!
I'll never stop thinking of Enos!
The most wonderful man I ever met.
Enos.