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To Keep On Keepin' On


DaisyMaeDuke

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Sara nodded gently with a small smile, squeezing her shoulder supportivly.

"Its always more difficult with guys...add on top of that that they're family...sometimes its good to just get an outsiders opinion on things...all you need to do is be there for them if they need you Daisy...like with Bo just now, you just listened and tried to reason...give him things to think about. To be honest, I think Bo needs Luke to help him grieve...from what Luke tells me Bo follows his lead a lot....I think when Luke finally accepts it, Bo'll know he can have his time and both you and Luke will be there to help him..."

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Sara smiled with a nod.

"Your a family unit and I think that's really great...one...hinderance with it is that if one part of the team falls, the rest of the team cant really go anywhere with a problem...at the same time, that's also good because no family member feels left behind then....Luke knows you and Bo are there for him....he's trying to include you more and I know he feels sorry that this is taking so long...he really does want to get back with you two and just...live. There's just a lot of shadows he's gotta fight through first...."

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Slowly, Sara pulled away from the farm in her car, watching Bo do the chores outside almost robotically, clearly deep in his own thoughts. As she had said, Daisy had obviously given him some things to think about. If she were honest with herself, she'd never wanted to see a patient get better more than Luke. She wasn't giving him any special treatment or anything, but the will or desire for him to get back on his feet and be with his family again was stronger than she had ever felt. They were such nice people that had each suffered great losses in their lives, they needed each other and she could see that. It hurt sometimes to know that while she was helping one family member, another was suffering and there was nothing she could do about that.

Sighing softly, she headed down the road back to Atlanta.w

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Early the next morning, Luke finally awoke, whimpering slightly when he found himself alone in the room. At the hospital he had been a strict schedule of sleeping, eating, talking...At the hospital, no matter when he woke up, Sara was always there waiting for him, encouraging him to either start the day or, if he had slept by way of defense mechanism, to avoid dealing with what had to be dealt with, she was there then too, pretending that sleeping through the day and ignoring the routine schedule of the hospital was exactly what she had planned for the day.

He glanced to Bo's bed noting that it had been slept in and reasoning he must be out in the barn doing chores. He let out a soft whimper at that too. He should be out there doing the chores alongside him. He shouldn't be causing all the extra hospital bills. Bo and Daisy had enough to deal with. Maybe the extra care of Luke being home was just adding to their worries. He was home but still a part of him felt worlds away. A lone tear trickled down his cheek.

Normally when he woke with doubt and fear Sara was there to help him see clearly, to encourage him with promises of a brighter future and the recognition of his achievments so far. Normally she'd offer a hug, the embrace meaning more to Luke than she likely would ever know....almost like that of a security blanket, an unuttered promise of safety and love.

Now he was on his own...

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Bo however was not out doing the chores, instead he had locked himself in the bathroom under the pretense of needing a shower...though he had had one in the early hours when no one was awake. The water was running but he was just standing there, looking in the mirror at himself. He knew he was tired, not only could he feel it, he could see it in the large dark circles surrounding his eyes, his shoulders hung slumped in a defeated position and he just looked...well exhausted. Not just physically, mentally he was tired. He just couldn't stop thinking. He had laid in his bed at night with the hopes that the whole day of doing hard chores would have wore him out. He was right, it had done, but he had only been able to sleep for maybe half an hour at a time...other than that he was up, wide awake and staring out at the moon that shone through the bedroom window. Thoughts tumbled through his head as he listened to Luke's steady breathing...the whimpering had stopped not too long after he had come in that night thankfully. If it had continued Bo would have had to have gone out to the barn...he hated hearing his cousin sounding like that. Usually he was the one to give the whimpers...he was the one that needed all the attention, the support...the roles between him and Luke had been reversed and now he was in charge...of everything...every tiny detail...looking after every member of his family....and he couldn't handle it.

HIs jaw tightened visablly in his reflection, his knuckles turning white from the tight grip he had begun to have on the sink. He was upset, stressed, frustrated and angry all at the same time...and that came out in the only way his frazzled brain could think to do. In one quick movement, he picked up the glass tumbler sitting on the sink and threw it hard at the mirror with a yell, shielding his face with his arms as glass shards flew everywhere.

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Luke swallowed hard as he looked in the bathroom at Bo. It was too much...too soon. His being here was doing more harm than good, that much was certain. Any other time he would have rushed to Bo's aid, cleaning him up...comforting him. Now he just stood, looking at what had become of his family, largely due to Luke. He shook his head, backing away with a small choked back sob.

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Bo's head turned sharply at the noise, seeing Luke standing in the doorway and backing away from him. Swallowing hard he looked down at the floor, able to see clearly what Luke was thinking and if he was honest with himself, it only angered him further though he didn't show it. He hated everything, he was mad at everyone and everybody even if they hadn't done anything. He was mad at the world for being like it was.

Shaking his head, he knelt down and started cleaning up the bits of shattered glass everywhere. Nothing he would say Luke would believe anymore, only Sara could talk to him, only Sara could make him see anything, only Sara was allowed to be close to him anymore. Fine by Bo, it was just one less thing to worry about if Luke left. Slowly, his walls were toughening around his heart to stop it taking so many hard, painful hits just as they had done Luke's.

Standing up with some glass shards in his hand, blood still dripping from his arms though Bo didn't really seem to notice, he walked out the bathroom - avoiding the place where there was still broken glass - and headed to the kitchen, saying as he walked past Luke.

"Sara's number's by the phone."

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It was as if a cold breeze blew through the house as Bo walked past him, telling him to call Sara. It only confirmed what Luke knew already... that he wasn't wanted home. Sure Bo was glad to have him out of the hospital...they certainly couldn't afford him to stay there. But he wasn't wanted at home either. Swallowing hard the sobs that threatened to come, Luke pushed himself off the wall he had backed up against, going to his room and grabbing a bag. Not calling Sara, not speaking to Bo, he simply packed what belongings he could, not even thinking about what was going in there, hardly seeing it anyway as tears fell down his face. Shouldering it he climbed out his window quietly taking off down the road.

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