"Matters to me..."

He mumbled as he sped out the driveway quickly, heading as quick as he could towards the hospital.

Luke sat hugging his pillow, tears dripping down his cheeks.

Soon, Bo was running down the hospital hallway, cursing himself all the way as he dodged people, doctors and nurses - running straight past Sara and into Luke's room.

"Luke! Luke i'm so sorry Luke, I lost track of time, I fell asleep in Dixie....I'm sorry I didn't mean t'be late, I'm here like I promised I would be..."

He said in a breathless rush.

Luke didn't look at him. His eyes were swollen with tears, his hands clutching the pillow in front of him.

Bo swallowed hard when Luke gave him no answer...didn't even look at him.

"Luke...brother please...m'here now...I was leaving earlier but I fell asleep soon as I sat down someplace comfy...Luke m'sorry..."

Luke looked up tearily. He didn't know what to think.

Bo crossed to him and sat beside him on the bed, reaching a hand out and putting it on his cousin's shoulder.

"Really I did Luke....i'll call Daisy, you can ask her if you want...she found me in the front seat fast asleep...please brother you know I wouldn't abandon ya when you need me..."

Luke swallowed hard. "I...wouldn't blame ya...if ya did."

Bo shook his head.

"I could never do that t'you Luke...yer my brother, I love ya...and secondly there aint no reason fer me to abandon you...you aint done nothin wrong...yer sick that's all..."

Tears dribbled down his cheeks. "I tried so hard today...wanted to show you...an...an you didn't come...I...I felt...so...so..."

"I know...I know Luke i'm so sorry...I really didnt mean t'show up so late, I didn't...s'why I fell asleep in the car, I was hurryin' t'get t'ya...guess my body had other ideas..."

He said softly, an arm around Luke's shoulders now.

"But you can still tell me what you did today...if yer already trying that's great news t'hear!"

Luke hid his face in his hands. He supposed it wasn't anything great anyway. He had just wanted to prove to Bo that he would try.

"Luke please tell me...please dont be like this Luke...I don't know what else t'say or do t'show ya how sorry I am...it was an accident, I just completly crashed..." Bo begged softly.

"I...I. told her...b-bout...my folks," he said softly.

Bo raised his eyebrows a little in surprise...he knew he had asked Luke to try but talking about that was one hell of a leap to make.

"You did...wow that was quick...I didn't think you'd talk about them so fast..."

Luke nodded a little as a ter strayed down his cheek. He felt so much like he had disappointed everyone. He didn't want to tell him how he had near broken down in front of her.

"I'll bet that was difficult t'talk about..." He said softly, understanding without Luke needing to tell him how it had gone. "I can't understand or begin t'comprehend what it feels like t'have t'recall that...cause I dont remember mine none...but i'm real impressed with how you've managed to talk about it so quick already...and to a person ya barely know...its real good Luke.."

"Wanted...you...t' be proud...wanted...you...t know...I was tryin'." he fumbled.

"I am proud Luke...I always was and still am...I'm proud of the fact you realize you have a problem and need this kinda help...I know your tryin' cause you promised me you would, I ain't got any doubt ya will...but how you try is up to you..."

Bo said, pulling Luke into a hug this time, rubbing his back softly as he was dangerously close to falling asleep again.

Luke leaned into him as he felt the hug. "I dun' feel so good," he said softly.

Bo shook his head gently.

"I can imagine ya dont cousin...you just gotta calm down some...start thinkin' straight again is all an' you'll feel much better...I love ya cousin, never forget that...yer like my big brother, ya always have been an' always will be...no matter what I do in life you'll always be the one I look up to..."

Luke hiccuped a sob. It wasn't a matter of what Bo did. In his mind, it was what Luke did, and he felt Bo deserved a much better role model than him.

Bo sighed softly as he just held his elder cousin close, wishing he could just magically take away all Luke's pain and make him better again....right now he really missed his cousin and he knew it would just make Luke that much more guilty to know that he would miss his Uncle's wake and funeral...he just didnt know how to bring it up without upsetting Luke even more...in fact he was actually planning on letting Sara talk to him about it.

Luke just rested his weary head against Bo's shoulder. He was still upset that Bo had forgotten him, but he was so glad he was there at all he quickly dismissed it as him having no right to be upset. He swallowed hard, rubbing his hands nervously.

Bo rocked him gently, seeing his hands rubbing together but not knowing how to stop them. He felt completly helpless just sitting there with Luke but it seemed to be what his older cousin wanted, so he did...even though he was battling to keep himself awake.