Appomattox Challenge - MaryAnne's Upcoming Demotion

[Brian Coltrane]

Yep, you read that right. The tables are being turned.

First, though, thanks again to everyone who participated in the Bail Bond Bonus Challenge. We had great updates to Dukes of Hazzard Fanfic.com and everybody did a fine job on their stories. I, of course, appreciated the contributions on a personal level, in addition to enjoying the stories themselves. Sal-ute!

And now, it’s time for some friendly revenge. I’m officially announcing the Appomattox Challenge, which puts MaryAnne’s authority on the line.

Quite simply, if we don’t get in a few stories by April 09, then MaryAnne is to surrender all rank and title to me, unconditionally. Then, I’ll be able to do all kinds of ruthless stuff like ban her from HazzardNet for a change. And don’t think I won’t do it! Though I might send her on some tedious errands and heap all kinds of menial tasks on her beforehand. Once she’s out of the way, I can rearrange a few things, and get a bigger cut of that 50% of 50% of 50%.

There ya have it. Ya’ll have from now until April 09, to turn in a Dukes of Hazzard fanfic story. Length and topic up to you. Help ransom MaryAnne’s badge and all it stands for.

Or, do nothing and therefore assure my new elevated position within HNet’s hierarchy. Muahahaha!

Brian

P.S. MaryAnne, you may wanna tidy up your desk a bit. Heh heh.

[Val Strate]

Ban MaryAnne?! Brian takin' over?! Crickets and Crocs! This is outrageous!

If Brian takes over, there will be chaos in the streets! The sun will shine during the night and the night will become day! The world will revolve backwards! All clocks will run counter clockwise! Cats and dogs will be living together! It's not natural! It's insane!

As an upholder of nature and a fellow officer of the law, it my sworn duty to help protect the order which is here; I will take your challenge Mr. Coltrane!

Don't worry MaryAnne, you have the endorsement of the Wildlife department behind ya!

*Looks to the crowd* My fellow Hazzardites, we can not sit back and let this idly happen! It's time to take action! We need to preserve what we love. If you love the way Hazzardnet is, then stand up and fight for it! Write a story! Save MaryAnne's badge!

I call all Enos writers out there, (and I know you're out there guys), rally to this cause! Help save Hazzardnet and MaryAnne!

If Brian takes over there is no telling what will happen. Why, the whole format of the forums could change from our favorite orange and black to pink, with purple polka dots! Brian is a great leader but he's known for chaos and randomness. Help restore order! Save MaryAnne!

It's time to start writing! *pounds fist into hand then looks around kind of clueless* Um... Has anyone seen my pencil?

Val Strate

Hazzard Game Warden

[MaryAnne]

First, thank ya Val! I know I can always rely on fellow officers of the law in my time of need. Khee!

Meanwhile, Brian....turn about is fair play I guess. Since I arbitrarely put your posterior on the line (for a good reason I might add!) it only seems fitting for you to do the same. Tho', I'm suspicious that this comes so soon after you were promoted to Administrator around here. Me thinks you're harboring some dangerous ambitions, cousin.

Nonetheless, in the interest of friendly revenge, I accept your challenge. Although you're not challenging me directly to write a story, I can't sit back and assume everyone's gonna rush to my aide just as strongly as they came to yours. Afterall, some may not want to help me. For some reason I tend to strike fear into most people and they may decide they'd rather have the sun shine at night and for the forums to be pink with purple polka dots.

So I too will be working on a little something for Appomattox Day, since it's my badge that's on the line. And to prevent the pink and purple polka dot theme from taking over the forums! GAH!

[Meadowmufn]

Oh lawdy. As long as there's breath in my body, the forums will NOT be pink with purple polka dots. So Brian, cross that right off yer list of things to do if the Deputy loses this one.

[DaneyDuke]

I too will be working on a little something

A story from one of your many series or a new piece! That's inspiring! =)

[Brian Coltrane]

Oh lawdy. As long as there's breath in my body, the forums will NOT be pink with purple polka dots. So Brian, cross that right off yer list of things to do if the Deputy loses this one.

Oh, my plans for a New Coltrane Order don't invole polka dots, don't worry. Any color changes I make are the least of yer problems.

I'm sure we'll all miss MaryAnne. But let's look upon this as an opportunity for a radically new structure.

Brian

[Meadowmufn]

I'm sure we'll all miss MaryAnne. But let's look upon this as an opportunity for a radically new structure.

With yours truly lookin' over yer shoulder 24/7, RIGHT?

[deathangel_tori]

brian darlin' if ya think i'm gonna let ya do that to maryanne ya got another thing coming. even if i do like your brand of chaos. i too shall rush to her aide, if anything cause i've had an idea in my head, but if i did not, i would still do so. prolly like a 2 liner

[deathangel_tori]

um btw since i finally doing a challange where do i submit it???

[Brian Coltrane]

For the purpose o' this particular challenge, you can send the story to . That box is viewable by myself, MaryAnne and MeadowMufn, so we'll all know these stories are coming in. (This way, I can't cheat and claim that nothing came in. Not that I'd cheat. Much.)

Stories will be posted on DukesofHazzardFanfic.com .

Instead of writing a story, however, you could watch Dukes DVD's for the next month and let chaos take it's course!

Then, things will be changing once MaryAnne is out of the way - and MeadowMufn has got to sleep sometime! I'll have plenty of opportunity to wreak a little havoc. Ahh, where to start.... I've got at least 30 days to ponder my schemes.

Brian

[Meadowmufn]

Brian,

I don't know if you particularly like getting shpammed to death through the webmaster email address, but I know I certainly don't. So, I've replaced the email address you listed with an image so shpambots hopefully don't grab it and send us all sorts of emails about hot stock tips or how to increase the size of our non-existent male parts.

[Meadowmufn]

Then, things will be changing once MaryAnne is out of the way - and MeadowMufn has got to sleep sometime! I'll have plenty of opportunity to wreak a little havoc. Ahh, where to start.... I've got at least 30 days to ponder my schemes.

Brian,

You forget that I'm a programmer and wrote a good chunk of the code that has run HNet over the years. HNet can certainly shpy on you for me and alert me to any misdeeds you might be up to. In fact, I'll just set my Palm Treo next to the bed every night and setup HNet to text message me any time you login. I'm a very light sleeper. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Or maybe not. But you won't know if I set that up, will you? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok, I've had my quota of evil laughs for today. I'm gonna go watch tv.

[deathangel_tori]

tsk tsk! brian. well just finished the first one from me.

[Val Strate]

*Climbs up ontop of the proverbaly soap box*

Hazzardites! Aren't you concerned? Isn't anyone besides me, MaryAnne and MM worried about the possibility of Hazzard going into the hands of chaos? I understand that you got control over things MM, but Brian is right you do have to sleep sometime, which means he will have time to come up with new schemes and plots. Citizens, this is serious! We need to rally to the cause and help back MaryAnne. He can't take MaryAnne's badge if the citizens of Hazzard show that we don't want it taken away!

Like I called out to all my fellow Enos writers before, we must unite! Writers, it's time to write and save MaryAnne's badge!

*blows in a conch shell to rally up the Hazzardnet writers*

I don't care if you call yourself a writer or not, write some kind of story to send to help MaryAnne! Come on gang, we need to fight for the rite to write! Flood that mailbox!

Val Strate

Game Warden

[MaryAnne]

*looks around*

Well Val, atleast you, me, Mufn and d_tori are concerend. Everyone else is either busy working on stories already or....they're not at all concerned about me losing my badge. *shrugs* Eh, I'll admit it's not as dramatic as tossing Brian into jail. For oblivion.

Although, he could just as easily do that to me once he's secured the proper rank and title. I wouldn't put it past him.

*sighs dramatically* Maybe, deep down, some folks would rather see me removed and they just don't want to admit it.

[AlexJackson]

Now now Deputy, is that a sad face I see? You run a tight ship around here and without you Hnet would sink like the Titanic, and you of all people should know that. When a Coltrane is in trouble I have to help, I'm terribly fond of all of you Coltranes. So...with that in mind, I'll help you keep your badge... Don't worry MaryAnne, no one wants to see you booted out.

Alex

[BoJamesDuke]

Hey!

Bo here and there ain't no way i'm gonna let the deputy down! Me an' Luke may like runnin' from the law but what's the point when there ain't no law to chase us?! Story comin' your way!

[deathangel_tori]

hey maryanne haven't forgotten about you i just had rl kick me in the butt very hard and then kicked again for good measure, so this weekend i won't to forget about that and work on that dang bunny thats been nibbling, um knawing hard at my ankles. ha! brian. it would figure it would take something like this to get me off my posterior and fic, lol.

[DaneyDuke]

<oh, ten days until Easter Monday>

[Brian Coltrane]

I've been watching the mailbox, and it seems the entries are pretty few and far between. MaryAnne, more n' likely, will be handing over her rank and title to me on April 9th.

I'm gonna enjoy this.

I've got a few inaugural ideas in mind to commemorate this suspicious...er, auspicious, occassion. And while I've debated whether to ban MaryAnne for sport or not, I might find more satisfaction in requiring her to modify her avatar and signature to something of my own choosing. That way she can pledge her allegiance to me on a regular basis.

Generous, eh? I thought so.

I've got worse...or, I mean better, things in store besides that. I want to make this a smooth and somewhat painless transition. A new power structure need not be filled with strife and mayhem.

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ahem.

Brian

[Val Strate]

*Yawns and looks at the calendar*

Only nine more days now, left in this challenge.... Mmm, since nobody seems to care anymore I just guess I won't care either.

Yep, the Ol' Game Warden is fed up. She's calling it quits. I'm going to just surrender myself to the evitable and go sit on the couch all day, drinking chocolate milk and eating snack cakes. Yep... It's just too hard to write.

Oh whoe is thee... I guess MaryAnne is on her own. No Enos fans are coming to your rescue MaryAnne. It's over, we lost. We should put down our torches and become mindless zombies of 'Youtube'.

'Chaaaarlie, Chaaarlie! We're going to Candy Mountain Charlie! Won't you join us?'

Yep, going to sit around and watch Charlie the Unicorn on youtube till our eyes bug out. Who needs Dukes.

*Brrrrup!* Oh excuse me, too much chocolate milk I guess.

Val

[AlexJackson]

*A blond man steps up to a borrowed soapbox carrying a big golden crown adorned with black onyx and diamonds, clearing throat and peering out at all the Hazzardites*

My fellow Hazzardites, I am here today to speed up the inevitable...

*raising black and diamond crown* Today is a very special day. So let us all simply accept our fate and declare ourselves a king...

I hereby declare that Brian Coltrane is now KING OF ALL HAZZARDNET!

*takes the crown and puts it on a brunette head then gives a dramatic bow*

All hail your Majesty!!! We will follow you oh black clad one!! All the power is yours!!

*Stands up straight, once again peering out at the fellow Hazzardites*

Join me fellow Hazzardites in honoring our new King!!

[lost_sheep3]

Okay, okay....let's not all give up...we still have 9 days...okay 8 and a half - some of us write better under pressure ya know.

Now of course...should Brian win, I will become his loyal follower...but let's not give up the game quite yet...hmmm?

Even if Brian doesn't win...we all know that MaryAnne and Brian are a formidable duo...so whatever happens...I trust Hazzardnet will be in good hands.

But it might be better if it wasn't all in Brian's hands.

[Val Strate]

Nope, we're doomed. All doomed to a hopeless rein by the black clad Coltrane. Dooooooooomed!

I give up. I surrender... I give up my magic conch shell of rally-dome and hand over my soapbox. Stick a fork in me I'm done... Through... Over...

All hail Brian Coltrane! King of Hazzard County! May he rein supreme!

The Game Warden has lost all hope in the system. Justice is a futile cause. Face it... This is like Global warming... It's doomed to happen.

If we surrender to him now, maybe he'll be easier on the punishment he gives us later after we fail.

DOOOOOOOOOMMMED!

Val

[MaryAnne]

Brian? King of All HazzardNet? Oh please let me join in the bowing here...

*bows to Brian* Salami, Salami, Baloney...