Dukes of Hazzard Paraphrasing/Inaccurate Quotes

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 The Boars Nest Bears.

Bo:"It looks like this calls fer the old squeeze play! Hang on cuz!"

Luke:"I hate it when you do this!"

Bo:"Yahah!" Drives on 2 wheels between the big rocks. Rocks fall down. Sheriff Little stops his car.

Waylon Jennings:"Now, if that had been Big Ed's head, he wouldn't even stop. He probably wouldn't even have slowed down."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 4 Share and Share Alike

Waylon Jennings:"Meanwhile, Murkin, thinkin' everybody had gone plumb crazy told Bo all that he knew. An' that was enough fer ol' Bo to start puttin' some pieces together."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 Enos's Last Chance 

Waylon Jennings:"It's in Hazzard, it's in a hurry, an' it ain't a Duke. So whatever that fella is, he's probably up to no good. Decent folks don't carry on that way. Unless you're up to no good."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 2 Mason Dixon's Girls

Rosco:"They did have them cute little -"

Boss Hogg:"FORGET THE DIMPLES!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 High Flyin' Dukes

Hector:"That sounds like the duster."

Percy:"It's probably lettin' them Dukes know where we are! Step on it!" A couple minutes later, Daisy picks up Bo from the General Lee with the duster and stunt flying ladder. Percy and Hector see him hanging in the sky off the ladder.

Hector:"Those Dukes gotta whacked out of their minds!"

Percy (Takes gun out.):"I'll whack him right out of the sky!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 Targets Daisy & Lulu

Cousin Big Dan Hogg:"Alright Cousin J. D.! So, it's a double cross is it!? First, you get my money. Now, you wanna rob me of the necklace! Shame on you! Stealin' from kin!"

[Skipper Duke]

PlayStation 1 Daisy Dukes It Out (2000)

Luke Duke:"Enos! Why'd you do that?"

Enos:"Sorry fellas. But since Sheriff Rosco an' I was chasin' y'all this mornin' fer speedin'-"

Rosco:"Enos, do you copy? This is an all points bulletin."

Enos:"Yes sir, this is Enos Sheriff!"

Rosco:"Enos keep an eye fer Daisy Duke! You see her again, you arrest her fer bank robbery!"

Luke:"What!?"

Bo:"Daisy robbed a bank!? I don't believe it!"

Enos:"Yes sir Sheriff. This is Deputy Enos Strate. Over an' out!"

Luke:"You know better than that Enos! Daisy would never rob a bank. Not even if she was forced at gunpoint."

Enos:"I'm sorry boys. We'll get all this sorted out. But until then, y'all have to go to jail. Wait a minute!"

Luke:"Enos, we ain't got time to get arrested. We're goin' to find Daisy!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 The Boars Nest Bears

Bo:"Awe shoot! It's Sheriff Little!"

Waylon Jennings:"Now, one thing you don't wanna be is a Duke, facin' Big Ed Little. He hates the boys so bad, he once drew up plans for a new jail. With Bo an' Luke as the foundation."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 The Boars Nest Bears 

Luke:"Dog gone it! It's Sheriff Little again!"

Sheriff Little:"Cooperate now! Or I'll make you stop!"

Bo:"Sorry Sheriff. But we ain't got the time to be sociable with you."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 7 Strange Visitor to Hazzard. The Alien (Little Cousin) is driving Rosco's patrol car.

Waylon Jennings:"Little Cousin is just havin' fun. And ain't aware that he could get hurt in this primitive machine."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 5 Dukes Strike it Rich 

Coy:"Capitol City, I think we lost this one Vance."

Vance:"No we didn't, there's Rosco!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 Close Call for Daisy 

Waylon Jennings:"Now, it may look to the uninitiated that Luke's plan fouled up. But his backup plan is cookin'. 'Cause he knew the road that ol' Norman was on dead ended at the steam plant."

Luke:"Keep on rollin' Norman. You ain't headed nowhere but the slammer."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 2 Hazzard Connection.

Boss Hogg:"The state police asked us to keep an eye on Auggie Detweiller didn't they?"

Rosco:"Yeah."

Boss Hogg:"An' I cannot abide a crook operatin' in my county."

Rosco:"Especially if he doesn't cut you in on his racket."

Boss Hogg:"Especially if he doesn't cut me in on his racket."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 1 Swamp Molly. Uncle Jesse Duke:"Now, now, Molly, before you start up with one of them schemes of yours, I want you to remember that them 2 boys in there, they's on probation." Swamp Molly:"Why Jess, how you talk. Alright, if you ain't got the time, or inclination-" Uncle Jesse Duke:"Uh let's just serve up the pie, an' you an' Alice can stay as long as you want." Waylon Jennings:"The boys never could figure that strange hold Molly had over their Uncle Jesse. To their mind, that old debt had been paid twice over, with interest. Before they was even born."

[Skipper Duke]

(Season 1 Episode 2 Daisy's Song.) Confronting Lester Starr at Starr Music Publishing in Atlanta.

Bo Duke:"Look Mr., if yer not gonna be fair about this, then we want Daisy's $50 back!"

Lester Starr (Snapping fingers summoning bodyguard JoJo.):"JoJo. Did you hear that? This guy just threatened me. Now, you guys get outta here before JoJo mails you back to Tobacco Road!" 

Bo Duke:"Yer gonna need help hoss!" JoJo opens coat revealing his 2 .44 magnums.

Luke Duke:"He's got it."

Bo Duke:"Yeah."

JoJo:"An' you best be goin'."

Lester Starr:"Go on, go on. Get outta here! An' I don't wanna see yer faces around here again!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 1 Swamp Molly

Boss Hogg:"Rosco, it looks like you took a correspondence course in brains, and actually passed!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 1 Daisy's Song

Daisy Duke:"Gee, I knew it tough to get into show business, but I never heard of them usin' guns to keep you out."

Luke Duke:"Well, those .44 magnums convinced me."

Daisy Duke:"Why would a music publisher need a bodyguard?"

Luke Duke:"I don't know."

Bo Duke:"I just don't like bein' sent home with my tail tucked."

Luke Duke:"Hey. We can't go home, tucked or otherwise. Now, Jesse said "Either get the royalties or Daisy's 50 bucks back" we ain't got either."

Bo Duke:"Well, maybe we could reason with Starr, if his trained ape wasn't around."

Daisy Duke:"How do you plan to do that?"

Bo Duke:"What's the last thing he expects right now?"

Luke Duke:"A fat man in a red suit drivin' reindeer!"

Bo Duke:"No, us! We'll use Stonewall Jackson's old tactic! When they think yer runnin' away, you attack."

Luke Duke:"Stonewall Jackson had the Confederate Army! I got you!"

Bo Duke (Pointing at the car):"An' General Lee!"

Daisy Duke:"Ok boys. Now I'm gonna be in the back with the motor runnin', in case this doesn't work out."

Luke Duke:"An' it won't!"

Bo Duke:"Luke, if you don't believe in this, then how come yer doin' it?" 

Luke Duke:"Because facin' a gorilla with 2 guns is easier than facin' Jesse. Come on, let's go!" Now Daisy, you pay real close attention alright."

[Skipper Duke]

Season 2 Follow That Still. When Boss Hogg and Rosco are in Boss Hogg's new war memorial a tank. At the Boars Nest. Trying to get it positioned for set up for the visitors. Rosco is driving it, Boss Hogg is peaking out the peep hole telling him where and when to stop. He crashes into the Boars Nest.

Boss Hogg:"HOLD IT! Yer breakin' up the Boars Nest!"

Rosco:"Yeah. I did scuff it a little bit didn't I?"

Boss Hogg:"You sure did!"

He backs up and crashes into the front of Boss Hogg's Cadillac. The front bumper falls off.

Boss Hogg:"HOLD IT! Yer destroyin' my car!"

Rosco:"No. I just knocked the front bumper off a little bit."

Boss Hogg:"It's good enough right here! Leave it, before you wreck the whole place!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 6 Lulu's Gone Away 

Waylon Jennings:"Now, anybody who would kidnap Lulu Hogg is figurin' on 2 long shots. First, it would be easier to steal a buffalo. Second, who says old Boss would pay to get her back?"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 4 Dukes in Danger. Chasing escaped convicts Leeman and Hammer to bring them to justice. They're shooting at the General Lee.

Bo:"Them boys ain't kiddin' around!" 

Luke (Sliding out the window with bow and dynamite tipped arrow ready to shoot back.):"Neither am I. Let's see how they like dynamite!"

[Skipper Duke]

Season 4 Dukes in Danger. When Luke misses Leeman and Hammer with the first arrow.

Luke:"Dang it! I missed 'em!"  and Leeman's bullet hits the windshield.

Bo:"Yeah! Well, they didn't!"

Luke:"I guess not! Holy smokes!"

Bo:"You better hit 'em this time Luke!" 

Luke:"You got that right!"  2nd arrow lands in the road making explosion and Hammer drives off the road.

Luke:"Alright!"

Bo:"Yeah hoo!"