Space...the Hazzardous Frontier...

[MaryAnne]

Hi folks! Just an FYI that Brian and I will be out of Hazzard for awhile. In fact, we'll be out of the country. More 'n that, we'll be out of this planet! LOL. We've enlisted with Star Fleet and will be collberating on a Star Trek fic. We'll see you on the other side of the galaxy. Live long and prosper. =)

MaryAnne

[pendragon1980]

That's kewl, MaryAnne! Which series are you taking from? The orginial? Next generation? Enterprise?

There's a bit of advice from a offical trekkie. If a Klingon suggests Gagh for dinner, Run! Cause its best served live.

(vulcan peace sign)

Pendragon

[Brian Coltrane]

Served live? No wonder they call it Gagh. I'm sure that's what'd I do.

Anyhow, live long and...keep between the ditches? Khee! Actually, ah suppose it's time to fess up and admit this was just a lil' April Fool's jest.

Not to say that we won't ever write such a script.... heh! Ya just nevah know.

Brian

[Scootandcatcat]

It's okay if you guys are gone for a little while. Good luck. I'm still only using the computer at school, but just as well. I know I ain't been around pretty much at all for what, about three months, and now a little access at school, but it might as well count as me not being around, with more time being added to my three months? *sigh* Good luck my friends.

[Brian Coltrane]

Scoot, I don't know when you'll see this, but just wanted to clarify for ya that the Star Trek thang was just a little jest we were pullin' for April Fools. The fanfic page had been changed to show the Enterprise at a docking station in space....but only for a day or two.

But, I have to confess somethin'. I can't get the idea of space out of my head. ( khee! ) And while I haven't had the guts to break this to MaryAnne yet ( don't tell her! ) I've started a....sci-fci story. It's called "Vapor Lock. "

It goes where no Coltrane has ever gone before - and has no right to be. It's not a Trek-based story, tho'....instead, I pretty much took Hazzard County and shoved it into outer space just to see if the universe would implode.

Naturally, if I don't do some counter-balance to this, and fast, I'm gonna mess mahself up pretty bad. Heh heh. So I'm gonna start a new RR story, western-based, on the board in the very near future. Somewhere in the middle of all this, I'll stay normal! Yeah, riiiiiight.....

Brian

[pendragon1980]

Staying normal would imply being normal to begin with, Brian.

And as for the RR, I'm looking forward to it. I think I would look great in a corset and leather breeches.

Doc

[Chet Duke]

*Imagines Chance in a corset and leather breeches and smiles to self but says nothing.* 8)

[MaryAnne]

Normal? Wait a minute, I thought you were a Coltrane, where does normal fit into that?

So....has the universe imploded yet or what? LOL

MaryAnne

[Brian Coltrane]

Very funny, cousin. Awright, ya know what? I'll show ya what happens in a couple hundred years....lemme take you on a little time-travel right now.

Ya'll note, MaryAnne hasn't seen any of this story yet, and by postin' this little ditty heah, I might find it necessary to take a sudden and unplanned vacation a few thousand miles away.

***** ***** *****

VAPOR LOCK

Velvet infinity surrounded MaryAnne. The mesmerizing shimmer of uncounted stars hovered silently in the blackness of space, the luster of their silver light beckoning home all troubled souls.

Right through her patrol quadrant, she imagined. Trouble seemed to follow comet trails through her universe. Why, she didn’t know. Hazzard’s interstellar presence was only that of a small planet in a quiet backwater of space. Hardly worth the trajectory bypass.

Or coronary bypass, as the case may be. Her communication console blared to life, the visage of Boss Hogg filling the cruiser-class pursuit ship. As usual, his white gravity suit was impeccable, despite the enormous lunch he was in the midst of consuming. Food stains were unknown to Boss, due to his vortex-sized appetite making short work of every crumb. The food didn’t last long enough to be spilled.

“MaryAnne Coltrane!†Boss bellowed through a full mouth.

“Yes, Boss?â€

“Your ticket quota better be caught up this lunar phase! Or else I’ll give your fancy flyin’ machine to somebody that knows how to make money with it!â€

“I’ll catch it up,†MaryAnne said with strained patience.

“You do that! I’m not payin’ good money for you and Rosco to go sightseein’ Uranus out there!â€

“You’re right,†MaryAnne answered. “You’re not payin’ hardly anything –“

Rosco’s image cut in on the monitor, which immediately split the screen to accommodate both appearances. “Uh, Boss, what MaryAnne means is, we’re expectin’ a big crime spree in these parts. We’ll have some fines comin’ in for ya, don’t you worry.â€

Boss was unimpressed. “Rosco, the only crime spree I seen lately, was you tryin’ to hotwire a satellite! ONE OF MINE!â€

“DOHHO! I can explain that! Ya see, my cruiser bumped into it on re-entry, and it kinda nudged the satellite off course, and –“

“And stopped all WHOGG broadcastin’ for the whole planet! You cost me plenty in advertisin’ revenue! Not countin’ the repairs on your cruiser! Not countin’ the cost of one satellite crashin’ down in smithereens! Rosco, you owe me so much money, you’re gonna need a time warp to keep up with the payments! If you don’t get some cash comin’ in, I’m gonna rent you out to deep space, and you can spend the rest of your life patrolling a black hole!â€

“JIT! No, Boss! I’ll make it up to ya!â€

“Harrrumph!†Boss’s chubby scowl winked out from the monitor, the communication terminated. Rosco’s image was now alone within MaryAnne’s screen, looking at her worriedly.

“He doesn’t mean it,†MaryAnne offered in comfort.

“Yes he does,†Rosco said flatly. On the screen, MaryAnne saw him lean back in the command seat of his cruiser, heaving a resigned sigh. “Sweetheart, we catch enough bad guys to keep our badges, but it takes fines and ticket money to pay for a Plymouth StarFury.â€

“We can’t force people to break the law,†MaryAnne said. “What does Boss expect? You’ve nailed the Dukes with so many tickets, they won’t take the General Lee for an orbit when you’re on duty. We’ve ticketed everybody in Hazzard to the point nobody wants to launch!â€

An expression of guilt crossed Rosco’s face, making the space-seasoned Sheriff appear older than his years. He glanced down at his uniform of blue and black, the gravity suit of the Hazzard law being the one possession he was normally proud of. Self-consciously, he adjusted the star emblem upon his chest, as if it were suddenly out of place upon him.

MaryAnne immediately regretted her rebuke. She knew the circumstances that kept Rosco in subservience to Boss, and rubbing her cousin’s face in it wasn’t going to help anything. She was about to say something in apology when the sudden wheep of her scanners interrupted the transmission.

Her eyes read the system displays quickly, and she barked out instructions to her voice-activated console. “Velocity and registration, make of vehicle, inbound vector 36, Atlanta quadrant!â€

The system-generated reply was useless. The response was announced in a mechanized voice as the words flashed on the display monitor. VELOCITY UNKNOWN, REGISTRATION UNKNOWN, VEHICLE UNKNOWN. VECTOR CONFIRMED AS INBOUND 36, ATLANTA QUANDRANT. THIS PROGRAM HAS CAUSED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION AND WILL BE SHUT DOWN. A red circle with an “x†appeared in the monitor and the screen froze up.

“Dammit!†MaryAnne swore and smacked the monitor. “Boss and his second-hand operating systems!†With a frustrated growl, she reset the system and lost all the readings. She snapped the communication link open to Rosco and hoped he’d obtained the tracking data. “Rosco! Did your scanner pick up that flyby on vector 36?â€

“Khee! I got it! Velocity is over the limit by 10,000 lightspeeds, I’m in hot pursuit!†The wail of Rosco’s cruiser was clear in the background, along with the noise of the Fury’s propulsion. MaryAnne checked her exterior displays and saw Rosco’s cruiser veering away from her own, issuing chase. Red and blue lights signaled the pursuit authority of the StarFury, and the gun turret of the Enforcement Beam swung to bear on the fleeing space vehicle.

MaryAnne urged her own cruiser into pursuit behind Rosco’s. She had no fix on the fleeing craft, thanks to the system failure, but she locked onto Rosco’s position as the next best thing. In keeping with standard procedure, she activated the Beam turret and pursuit lights, standing ready to assist Rosco if necessary.

“What are we chasing?†She asked him.

“I didn’t get a complete scan,†Rosco admitted. “Whatever it is, it’s leavin’ a vapor trail hot enough to melt moon rock. Khee khee!â€

“You didn’t get ….†MaryAnne paused and felt her heart constrict. Instead of debating her cousin and superior officer’s wisdom, she moved her StarFury into a parallel position with Rosco’s cruiser. She issued a verbal command to the scanners and prayed they would work for her this time. “Weapon and defense analysis of vehicle, inbound vector 36!â€

The mechanized voice answered while the words flashed upon the screen. WEAPONS AFFIRMATIVE CONFIRMED ACTIVATED. DEFENSE AFFIRMATIVE, CONFIRMED ACTIVATED.

Another box appeared on the monitor immediately afterwards. YOU ARE A WINNER, CLAIM YOUR PRIZE NOW!

WHEEEEEEP! MaryAnne’s scanner shrieked in warning a second before a distortion-blast rocked her cruiser and sent the system readings blinking in confusion. Gritting her teeth, MaryAnne hung on to the steering throttle and reset the system again. Switching to manual weapons control, she grimly set the Enforcement Beam on Full Disable. As soon as her StarFury reoriented itself, she’d go on the offensive.

Rosco’s concerned face appeared in the communications monitor. “MaryAnne, are you awright?â€

“I’m fine, Rosco. System’s down again tho’. See if you can get an ID on that…that whatever-it-is, before I blow it to kingdom come!â€

“Ten four! I’ll copy you.†A moment later, MaryAnne heard the series of code sequences chirping out over the channels. Rosco’s StarFury was doing its’ best to read the systems of the enemy vehicle while staying out of it’s assault range.

“Any luck?†MaryAnne asked.

“I got somethin’, but it’s not very helpful,†Rosco said hesitantly.

“Show it to me! Any info beats what we’ve got now!â€

Rosco obliged, and the transmission appeared on the monitor, translated from code:

@#$%&*!@#$%&*!@#$%&*!@#$%&*!@#$%&*!

MaryAnne stared at it. “You’ve got to be kidding me.â€

“Nope. We’re getting @#$%&* in every language and dialect known in the galaxy.â€

***** ***** *****

( To be completed in the near future....hopefully! Meanwhile, I think ah'd better make some quick travel arrangements....)

Brian

[Scootandcatcat]

Would be nice if people would inform me of those things ahead of time! Now look at what I've started! *Bangs head once, then twice* oh well, have fun brian.

[MaryAnne]

Hmmm.....ah do believe the universe is about to implode. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Git me a better StarFury will ya? ROFL.

[Meadowmufn]

It's a UFO! Unidentified Flying Officer!

[Julieduke]

I like that.

[MaryAnne]

KHEE!! BAHAHAHAHAHA!! I like that too!

[TRPColtrane95]

cute stories I love star trek too.. but my own make Transformers vs Hazzard County myself thanks

PS keep up stories..

[Lukas_KD]

ROFL!!!!!!!!

This thread was before my time on this particular forum. But thank you muchly, Mufn, for posting to it and bringing it back to life!

Oh that story clip is rich...!!!

*holding sides, laughing*

[Julieduke]

I would love to see that, maybe the General could actually be a transformer in your story as well.

[TRPColtrane95]

I would love to see that, maybe the General could actually be a transformer in your story as well.

lol and thanks I would be because I plan making Alternator general lee , dixie jeep from G1 Hound's repaint and Sheriff car repaint from G1 Prowl's and also I will add Movie tow truck as Cooter's truck as well that why I plan make up that and you will see in other thread someday.. thanks.

[Julieduke]

lol and thanks I would be because I plan making Alternator general lee , dixie jeep from G1 Hound's repaint and Sheriff car repaint from G1 Prowl's and also I will add Movie tow truck as Cooter's truck as well that why I plan make up that and you will see in other thread someday.. thanks.

Your forget Optimus Prime and the movie coming out July 4th this year.

[TRPColtrane95]

I know that he in movie but the semi truck is not match with my Hazzard's style car as well..