Dale The Bold

I still see a lot of things saying both dates, but I hope August 5th is correct. Why? Because that means my car may be done in time to take it to the drive-in theater.

Those are from early scenes before the car gets wrecked. It starts out as a cheap, kind of crusty old race car and after it gets wrecked, it gets repainted by Cooter "The Civil War Buff" Davenport who chooses to slap a confederate flag on the roof. Or so is the movie version of how General Lee came to be.

Rupaul would fit right in with the cast. Maybe Kermit the Frog.

All the fans need to do this, especially since Season Three comes with a free movie ticket. So there's no need to boycott the movie. What exactly does "possum on a gumbush" mean in this poll? Is it "possum on a gumbush, I'm excited" or "possum on a gumbush, how could they DO this?!"

Much like everything in Hollywood, they think that America doesn't believe in taking things too far. There are women who are too thin. And it's funny, all that unhealthy effort for Jessica to fit in a smaller pair of shorts, but doesn't do a thing about that goliath honker in the middle of her face.

Eww, don't tell me you prefer the "chopped off" version of movies, otherwise known as "pan n' scan" or the misleading "full screen." I'd gladly live with little black bars on the top and bottom of the picture is it means I don't lose 1/3 of the image. That's my widescreen vs. butchered screen soapbox.

I've actually never seen either of them act, but I think Seann William Scott will be the better of the two. But I could be wrong. Johnny Knoxville looks like his brain has been a little fried. In his early days on Jackass, he seemed to have his wits about him, but now he just always looks a bit out of it.

I couldn't agree more. He and Sorrell Booke made the show so entertaining. I mean, the Duke family was cool, but the comedic timing and ad-libbing of Boss and Rosco made the show complete. I remember a scene where the two of them and the Dukes were trying to get the bad guys to come out of a shack. Rosco went "REEE-OOW!" and Boss said "What was that supposed to be." Rosco answered "A big cat." No one but those two could have made that half as funny as it was. There's just something about how Rosco answers to Boss that is so funny. He has made it an art to be "the lovable sheriff."

How cool. So many people would simply delete a thread referring to them as a nazi.

I think the photo you're referring to is this: It looks like a thong at a glance, but her knee is up and obscuring the view. You can see that it is just a pair of shorts. It's just a badly timed freeze-frame. And those dollar bills, I first thought were being thrown as if it were a stripping scene, but those are actually just decorations on the ceiling of the Boar's Nest. This is from a fight scene where she steps on some baddie, apparently.

Last year, I was really tossing around the idea of a fan-made Dukes movie just to prove that fans could do better, but a film festival.... There could be enough interest to actually do that on a small scale. The worst problem I encountered was that fans are everywhere across the US and Canada. If I were to choose everyone I wanted AND a place to film it, I'd have to fly people in from everywhere. A mini film-fest could let people get creative. We could see animated Dukes films and plenty of goofy parodies, or serious short films. That would be a lot of fun.

They raised chickens and goats, not to mention Maudine the mule. They also grew a lot of crops. You don't see them doing much field work, but who wants to see that? They do build fences and dig fence post holes, which I've always hated doing (I don't think anyone enjoys that). As a kid, I always assumed they had cows, but back then I assumed all farmers had cows just because we did. There is an episode where we see Uncle Jesse plowing the field, but not with a tractor, he was using Maudine.

Actually, ideas morals and ethics have changed very little in the last 50 years, statistically speaking. The media has become less entertaining by capitalizing on immorality, but that doesn't mean that all things need to be compromised. Cheer the hell up.

I would pretty much do it like Lost Sheep said. I'd try to get John Schneider to direct it, or maybe James Best. Anyone from the original cast being a part of the film would be great. I would have scoured the country looking for the next Daisy. She would be an unknown actor, and same with Bo and Luke. The Duke family would be attractive people (I don't know why they didn't do this). Remakes always come out better when cast with unknowns. Probably because they don't mess it up by trying to "reinterpret" the roles, they just want to get their big break. The flag issue would be addressed, but tastefully and boldly. In fact, in one of my early ideas for a Dukes film, a young black guy from the city flees to the countryside because he has a gang after him. He meets up with the Dukes who take him in and give him a hand, and ultimately take on the gang. This would open up some opportunities for dialogue about the flag, but more importantly it would clearly show what the real meaning is. Plus I think it would be a great plot because the Dukes would think tha a gang problem wasn't that big of a deal until they showed up in Hazzard. Again, a plot that's ripe with twists and turns, and that whole urban-rural dichotomy. CB talk and urban lingo would crossover in a playful way. The Dukes would be on probation, and there would be plenty of temptation to violate that by getting some guns, or even running shine to raise a few quick bucks for their friend. Early on, Boss Hogg would be scheming against the Dukes (probably involving moonshine) and even trying to pin a crime on their new friend, but by the end, the Dukes, Boss, Rosco, and Enos would all be joining forces against the baddies. General Lee would go up against a bunch of ricers and mop the floor with them. The real chase would begin when another classic muscle car driven by the gang leader roars into town. In fact, there could be about three gang muscle cars that could have some really great paintjobs and modifications. What follows is an attempt to make a legendary car chase that makes Bullitt look like a walk in the park with a poodle. The chases would include explosive jumps, and plenty of shots from above the General Lee like the series did, where you saw the flag and the hood going down the road. My original plan was to actually include a cameo in which the Dukes pull up at an intersection beside a black Trans Am and out pops Burt Reynolds, who says something like "Nice ride, son. Better be good at ducking the law." There would be a Coy and Vance joke. I mean, come on, that would be funny. In fact, if they were good sports about it, I would have Byron Cherry and Christopher Mayer make cameos as grocery store baggers or something, making a mess of things and saying "Well, we don't normally do this, we're just filling in for the regular guys." The money saved by not hiring big names would go into big stunts and filling the soundtrack with real country music. Maybe even have a celebrity speed trap at some point (not necessarily the end of the film). The narrator would be a sound-alike, to give it that Waylon feel which is essential to the Dukes of Hazzard. Yeah, it'd be something like that.

Which airs on CMT tonight, I beleive.

Yes! Supposedly, the stupid smoking-from-an-apple scene and the Dukes getting high at the university is all part of the hoax. Here's what concerns me, though. If it is a hoax, the guy did his research. There is a scene at the college. The Super Troopers DO show up as campus security. So there was some truth in what he wrote. I just hope ALL of the drug stuff is a hoax.

I don't know about that. I personally witnessed a pothead using really weak arguments in an attempt to make a point extremely recently. And studies have shown the mental and sexual effects of smoking pot with a frequency beyond that which a doctor would prescribe. Hippies are just in denial about it. The fact that Uncle Jesse is a fictitious character is irrelevant. I said in another post that this is like making Superman a rapist. Once a fictitious character has been established, it's stupid to completely change them. IF they feel they must, just introduce a new character. Have Jesse's mysterious Cousin Jethro show up who smokes pot, and the Dukes wouldn't trust him because of his pointless lawlessness. Then it would fit right in to the Dukes universe. The Dukes were never criminals, they were rebels. There is an enormous difference between the two. A rebel will break the law only if it is necessary for the greater good. Criminals break the law because they are so mentally screwed up that they think it's "fun" to be deviant. What I don't understand is why a criminal personality would even take interest in the Dukes of Hazzard. I would think the notion of a family who does whatever it takes to stop corruption would be offensive to someone who breaks the law for "recreation." Breathe some clean air for a while and maybe once those neurons shake the dust off, you'll comprehend my point. And don't do that typical thing where people list a bunch of successful people who smoke pot. I am aware that Willie Nelson himself is a very gifted musician and I admire him. But it's not the marijuana that got him there, that's just a stupid hobby of an otherwise gifted man. Despite how it sounds, I think the medicinal use of marijuana is very practical, but the "recreational" use is completely stupid. They should legalize it for medicinal purposes (it would be stupid not to), and the only reason they don't is because they know that a bunch of slack-jawed boneheads will dumb themselves down even further with it. So even the health industry is suffering because of the irresponsible use of the drug. Why can't the druggies just find a "recreational" use of hemmorhoid cream? And I AM looking forward to seeing the movie. I just hope that they are currently finding ways to cut out the pointless and offensive drug scenes (they can leave in any scene that has anyone other than the Dukes using or being affected by drugs). There is potential that the rest of the movie will be good, if the just cut the "Dukes-using-drugs" garbage out. UPDATE: I did just read on the Confederate boards that the drug-use review was a hoax. If that's true, I'm definitely very relieved. I have to wonder if the motivation of that hoax was to make us see how "it could be worse." Suddenly, a dumb, blonde Daisy doesn't seem so bad. Clever little fart.

I wasn't too happy about it, but Willie Nelson's fame comes from his music, and he makes good music, and he's an icon from the genre of the Dukes of Hazzard. Between that and the fact that he was close to Waylon Jennings, I was willing to overlook it. In fact, I thought of him for the role way back in the early discussions about the film. I hope Willie one day becomes a spokesman against drug use. I would really admire that. But right now, he's the closest person in the world Bad shine can kill people or leave them permanently disabled. However, even on the series that wouldn't have affected the Dukes themselves, because they didn't drink moonshine. The only moonshine they had was Uncle Jesse's little bottle that was left over and only used for medicinal purposes.

Of course smoking pot isn't as bad as running moonshine, it's MUCH WORSE. At least there's a logical reason to run moonshine. Making and transporting moonshine doesn't impair your brain and reproductive organs. And furthermore, the Dukes weren't running moonshine during the whole run of the series. They had that in their past and it was because of family tradition ("The Dukes were making shine long before there was a US government to tell us we couldn't.") But once they were caught, they quit, because it was illegal. They don't break the law just so they can temporarily shut down their brains and become idiots. And the only time they do break the law is to save someone's life or to fight corruption. Sadly, people do know more about pot than moonshine today, but does that mean we can only make movies about things that people already know about? Should they cancel the opening of the next Star Wars film because people don't know enough about space travel?

The saddest part is, they could have appealed to both groups. The morons would be denied a chuckle at lost brain cells due to narcotics, but at least half of the audience wouldn't be offended/appalled at the shameless insulting of a legend. The original show did have plenty of appeal for everyone from horny teenage boys to old church ladies. And that's the simple ingredient that the Hollywood dummies can't grasp. They try for the "If you liked _____, you'll like this movie too" because they think it's impossible to include everyone in their audience. They don't want to appeal to everyone, because then they'd end up with a bomb, like Star Wars or Titanic. What seems fishy in this review is this: "there really wasn't much of anything to like about this [TV] show for me....." and "I'm a fan big time of the original ya know, and I remember every Friday skipping everything including dates with hot chicks so I could get my fix of them Duke boys..." Unless he is posting a review for someone else.

Yeah, this goes beyond just "creative changes." I mean, I can dislike, yet accept, things like making Daisy a blonde, or even "apologizing" for the flag to a degree. But they've turned Uncle Jesse into the exact opposite of Uncle Jesse. He's a bad guy! The Anti-Jesse. Bo and Luke would beat up and help arrest this version of the "Duke family." Then they'd proceed to blow up their stash of drugs so that no one can sell it or use it. This is so dumb, they might as well have Boss Hogg put on spandex and run around fighting crime while shooting lasers from his eyes with as far off as they've gotten.

Waahh, waah. LOL. It never ceases to amaze me how often whiners whine about whining. I hereby submit a formal complaint about your decision to submit a formal complaint.

I read somewhere once that John Schneider tried to buy the rights to the Dukes of Hazzard from Warner Bros. but they refused to sell it. Can you imagine the film he would have made? I'm sure it would have been phenomenal. And I think he was trying to do this back before we lost Sorrell Booke.

The part about the orange Charger with a different 01 on it is true. The movie is re-telling the story of how the General Lee came to be. It is not adhering to the "Happy Birthday, General Lee" episode. And because the reviewer got that right, I'm very worried that they're going to make Uncle Jesse a loser pothead.

Exactly. I know that if the fans were to magically obtain the rights to the Dukes of Hazzard, we could put together a film that would be true to the original, and be a bigger box office hit. Hollywood has lost its soul a long time ago, and that's why independent films are becoming so successful, they don't have to answer to mindless suits in offices who base their industry on "sex sells" and "youth thinks drugs are cool." Have you not got something better to do than moan about people who are discussing flaws in this film? Messageboards like this are great because if there's a smart marketing researcher at WB who wants to see fan reactions to the upcoming movie, they'd be searching for boards such as this for feedback. So if you work for WB and are currently reading this, you're the smart one I'm talking about. Our incessant whining could theoretically result in them cutting something like an awful scene which Uncle Jesse administers a narcotic to himself in a completely unfunny way (not that there exists a funny way for such a tragedy). I would pay good money to see that piece of film shredded and forever forgotten. Or replace it with footage of Jay Chandrasekhar literally urinating on Denver Pyle's grave instead of just doing it figuratively. Why is it that people laugh about drug use anyway? "Hey, look, his communication skills have been inhibited to the point where he says really stupid things! Weee!" I bet those same people would think of a trip to the asylum as a circus, "It's like they're high all the time. Look, that guy is chewing on furniture and thinks he's being attacked by snakes, this must be heaven."