Brian Coltrane

Sounds like your system may lack the necessary media players. Feel welcome to send a Private Message to any of the moderators here, and we'll try and help you. Brian

Welcome to HazzardNet! Thanks for the info. The site is kinda fun, gotta admit - the sound effects and background music held my attention for awhile. Heh heh. On the build a car thang....I wonder why it is, you can put together a General Lee with everything but a rebel flag? Brian

Any movie is good if you see it after chuggin' down a few beers. Eh? The car stunts certainly won't suck, and I'll treat the rest like an alternate reality. The new Dukes are like Coy and Vance on crack. You may not like them, but it could be interestin' to watch 'em. Brian

Wish they woulda shown more of the car. Anyhow, for those of y'all lookin' for more, here's a schedule thang that I shamelessly ripped off from Jessica's site: These Boots Are Made For Walkin' Video! Go behind the scenes and check out Jessica Simpson's new video, "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'". Tune in to MTV's Making the Video on 6/15 @ 11:00 AM; 6/16@ 1:00 PM; 6/17 @ 1:00 AM; 6/19 @ 11:00 AM; 6/20 @ 11:00 AM; and 6/20 @ 12:00 AM. Please check your local listings. You can also catch the video on MTV's TRL on Wednesday, June 15th. (Check yer local listings for times in yer area!) The video is viewable in full from Jessica's website. Thanks for posting the link, Fathead! Brian

Here's the pic you made, Scott....

BAAA-HAHAHA! Well, we've achieved a new low. And now, so long as we're in the gutter....here's somethin' that should appeal to everybody!

"Yer right." Brian reached for the shotglass of whiskey and swallowed half of it down, gritting his teeth as the liquor burned his throat. He confessed the reason for his risk-taking with a quiet drawl. "Ya see, MaryAnne had taken Chet outta town, while Rosco escorted me out, and the Strates took Alex in another direction. With the promise that if the three of us hoodlums were caught in town again...." Illustrating the penalty with a finger across his neck, Brian continued. "But despite that, ah had to come back and make sure MaryAnne returned to town in one piece. I don't like Chet...and ah don't like the fact MaryAnne rode out there alone with him. Whether he was slung over the saddle like a sack of grits or not." Pausing to finish the whiskey, Brian licked the alcohol from his lips and then asked the obvious question. "Either of y'all seen her come back yet?" (cue Chance/Min - we'll get back to the rest of y'all soon, thank ya)

Call me biased, but I think our collection on HazzardNet is halfway decent. Go to our homepage ( just click "HazzardNet Home" at the menu above the forums, here) and then find the link to the Photo Gallery on the left-hand side of the homepage. There is also a drop-down menu at the top right of the homepage, with navigation to all the assorted stuff we've thrown in to our amuse ourselves. If you're looking for movie pics, you'll find a few dozen links in our Movie section - which is also accessible from our homepage. Enjoy! Brian

"Mmmmphf!" Min's enthusiastic kiss took Brian by surprise, but he recovered with a wide grin the moment he was allowed air again. "I'm happy to see you too," he said, giving the buxom saloon girl a warm once-over with his eyes. "I'm long overdue for a friendly.....face." He then stooped down to retrieve his low-brimmed black hat and replace it on his head. Straightening, he turned his gaze towards the lady gambler, and reached up to touch the brim of his hat in a polite greeting, giving her a slight bow. "Good to see you again, ma'am," he intoned with a soft drawl. (cue Chance! Sorry, just had to sneak in there.)

Ewe ain't seen mutton yet.....

This place needs a moderator! Where the hell is MaryAnne..... Anyway, this guy from the suburbs was driving through the back country one day, and he sees some weirdo in a field doing sinful things with a sheep. Mortified, he parks in front of the farmhouse and runs up to the door, pounding on it. "Hey! Hey! There's somebody out there molesting your sheep!" he yells. A kid opens up the door and says, "That's just my da-a-a-a-a-ad." Brian

Yeah, we try to limit the use of @#$%&*! and %$&*! and %*#&$! We're above that sorta thang.

Brian made the return trip to Hazzard as carefully as possible. Once nearing town, he guided Damascus to ride close other travelers, blending himself in with families and cowhands. A lone outlaw was easy to spot, but a black-clad rider who rode unhurried, and mixed and chatted with honest folk, seemed above suspicion. He rued the extra time the approach took, but he hadn't lived this long by being a fool. He had no desire to have the Hazzard law make good on its parting threats. And so Damascus trotted into Hazzard with the rest of the mid-day activity, following a stagecoach into the town square. When it stopped in front of the boarding house, Brian kept Damascus moving through town at a casual pace, forcing himself to appear relaxed and confident, though he wanted nothing more than a dark alley to hide in. The good news was, no one would expect him to be dumb enough to immediately ride back into town in broad daylight. Therefore, no one would be looking for him. The comfort of cold logic did little to quell his criminal nerves, but he had to know if MaryAnne had made it back to town safely. Even at the expense of his neck. But when Brian spotted the cousins Duke outside of the Hazzard jailhouse, his heart ran down the stairs of his sternum, tripped, and fell into his gut with a cold splash. If they spotted him, they could give him away. He reined in Damascus with a subtle tug, staying beneath the overhanging roof of a nearby building, and waited in the shadows. It was clear by the way Bo and Luke were calling and searching, that the Hazzard law wasn't home. Brian watched as they shrugged to each other, re-mounted thier horses, and rode off towards the blacksmith's shop. Exhaling a slow breath, Brian tugged down his hat brim a bit lower, and nudged Damascus forward at a walk. The law was out to lunch and it was clear the Dukes were going to their blacksmith friend for news. And though Brian had a pretty good idea of MaryAnne's last known direction, he wasn't sure if his conjectures were correct. Some information would be good about now... ....and there was no place like a saloon to get it. The black horse guessed Brian's intent with the pull of the reins, and high-stepped over to it. Maybe after his rider staggered from the saloon, there would be more sugar. With this thought in the equine mind, Damascus trotted up to the saloon. He dunked his large head into the water trough and guzzled a long drink, while Brian looped the reins loosely around the horse's neck and dismounted. The black-clad outlaw walked quietly up the planked steps, moved sideways thorugh the swinging doors, and glided up to the bar before anyone could take undue notice of him.... ....save for the two women who were gawking at him in stunned surprise. ( Cue Min, Chance or anybody anywhere!)

Hmm...you're on the right track, but I'd go with something more dramatic or funky. Red cars lend themselves to certain themes. Maybe like....I dunno...Firebolt, Fireball, Rage, Red Devil.... things like that. Naming model cars is good practice. You'll have some cool ideas for names by the time you get your first real car. Have fun! Brian

Howdy ya'll ! Just wondering what brought people to DukesFest the most. If you went to DukesFest - or even if you didn't, but wanted to - tell us what the number one attraction was for ya. Thanks! Brian

Cap'n, you'll have to forgive BamaMama. He's hopelessly outmatched, so fallin' back to four-letter words is about all he can do to fight back. I'd ban the guy, but this is probably the only place he gets any real sass back. I can't take that away from him, as it's essential to his social development. Brian