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Brian Coltrane

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Everything posted by Brian Coltrane

  1. Why, thank ya Daney. That's a start, but I'm lookin' for somethin' other than a message board. I'm lookin' for an address or email for the right WB office in Burbank. Lemme do some huntin' on this. Meantime, if anyone has contact info - similar to what went around for TNN that time - let me know. The purpose is to promote positive fan interest in the movie, by the way....but I also think if the fans piped up and said they wanted to see the original cast play a part in this, it couldn't hurt nothin'.
  2. Casting...ya know, WB wants a "sure bet" so they're gonna cast household names for these roles, whether they're the best fit for the characters or not. Which is sad. ( Justin Timberlake and Brittany in the same movie. Don't GO there....don't even joke about that...gah! ) The casting should be based on chemistry, not on actor resume's. Who the hell knew who John Schnieder and Tom Wopat were, before Dukes of Hazzard? Did it matter? Those two slid into the orange Charger and the rest is history. Coy and and Vance, conversely, proved that not ANYBODY could pull it off. It's about the rapport and real-life chemistry on the set. If the actors have that, this movie will succeed. If they can barely stand each other, and don't have fun makin' this movie...no amount of actin' will cover that. Personally, I think that if WB does NOT find room for the original cast anywhere on this flick, it'll be nothin' short of a slap in the face to John, Tom, Cathy, Ben and Jimmie. They deserve recognition. Anybody know where fans could contact WB and make some opinions known?
  3. I'm of the opinion the original cast can't ( and shouldn't ) be replaced. But there's something to be said for keeping the Dukes of Hazzard adventures going for generations to come, so long as '69 Charges don't become extinct in the process. That bein' said... The "next generation" concept, which would give the original cast well-deserved screen time, would be the best way to appeal to longtime fans while drawing new folks that never saw the show in their life. Here's a rough idea for a script along that line: Rosco, having enough wherewithal to retire, and having perhaps at last found a true love in which to spend his twilight years, heads off to travel around the country as a professional demo derby driver. Before he can indulge in this, however, he needs to make sure Hazzard County is in good hands. So in the upcoming Sheriff election, he endorses a relative. The good folks of Hazzard, unable to resist how good Roger B. Coltrane looks in a black Stetson, elect a new Coltrane as Sheriff and assure themselves future years of chaos. Rosco gives Roger parting advice and well wishes, and then the freshly- retired Sheriff heads off into the sunset and into legend - after leaving one last parking ticket on the General Lee's windshield, and running over a fire hydrant on his way out of town. The merry "Khee!" and parting wave from Rosco is answered by a wave and goodbye from Bo, Luke and Daisy, who have no idea of the domino effect that fickle fate has in store. Ya see, Roger B. Coltrane had no more pinned on his badge when a huffy, stout whirlwind of a man by the name of Horace Jackson Hogg pulls into Hazzard, seeking his fortune. Literally. Poor ol' Horace wasn't recognized in Boss Hogg's estate and hadn't been left a penny in Boss's will. This was because Horace is the son of Huey Hogg, and one fateful day when Boss had disowned his nephew Huey for the last time, that branch of the Hogg family tree was pruned in it's entirety. Horace never forgot the teachings of his father, Huey - who had faithfully corresponded with his son throughout his confinement in one of Georgia's better state prisons - and armed with schemes aplenty, Horace came to Hazzard figuring to hoodwink ol' Rosco out of every last dime. After all, Boss left the Hogg family fortune to a brother-in-law, and here was Horace, blood kin, cut off without a cent. Well, not for long.... When Horace finds Rosco has left town, and taken the last of the Hogg fortune with him, Horace throws a conniption fit. But as he realizes that Rosco's successor is another Coltrane, he sees an opportunity to build his own empire. He befriends the new Sheriff, and makes no secret of his Hogg name, impressing Roger wtih the notion that there were many things that needed "cleaning up" in Hazzard, especially the county finances. Generously, Horace offers to take on the County Commissioner responsibilities, reactivating a county position that been formerly consolidated under the Sheriff's duties. Roger, having already found out what Hazzardites think about speed limits, welcomes the help and gladly gives up what he sees as burdensome bookkeeping. With a gleeful chortle, Horace begins working his subtle - and not so subtle - schemes, funneling money into his pocket. At the same time, he convinces Roger that the county is going broke and would soon be bankrupt if something wasn't done. Roger goes out and starts writing tickets like mad, and even accepts a cut in pay to try and ease the budget strains. Meanwhile, Horace sets his sights on bigger goals than skimming off Roger's salary and dipping into the county funds. There's just one detail he needs to get rid off to ensure his success... Being the Dukes, who Horace had been warned about. Horce manipulates the county records to make it appear as if the property taxes on the Duke farm were several years past due....and then initiates a tax foreclosure, intending to have the Duke farm become county property...until he can "buy" it himself - with stolen county money. Roger is sent to deliver the notice of tax foreclosure to the Dukes. Having no reason to distrust this particular Coltrane, (yet) the Dukes take the notice at face value, speculating that perhaps Uncle Jesse forgot about the taxes, or hadn't been able to keep up with them on his own during the time they were away. The amount, however, his far more than what they can come up with on short notice, and grimly they face the prospect of losing the family land. They try the Hazzard Bank for a loan, but the bank refuses, based on Horace's growing influence on it's policies. The Dukes call a family meeting, and decide there's nothing to do but sell, as much as they hate it. They contact their out-of-town kin to share the news and to see if they could "stay a spell while the storm blows over." The kinfolk, (insert new Duke names of your choice) react with surprise to the problem, having never heard of any back tax notices being published with the name Duke on them. This gets Luke thinking about it, and he decides they should investigate the county records. Meanwhile, the next generation Dukes come to the Duke farm to help in any way they can. As the Dukes try and investigate the county tax records, they are blocked by Horace Hogg's tricks. They are also harassed by Roger B. Coltrane, who, after flipping his patrol car over in mid-air and landing dramatically into a pond while chasing them that morning, is beginning to understand why Rosco had ticketed and jailed the Dukes on a regular basis. Unexpectedly, and while everything remains uncertain, Bo receives an offer to cover for another driver in an upcoming NASCAR race. The timing of the offer isn't good, but the money is, and many Duke tax problems could be solved by it. Bo accepts, especially when Luke agrees to join him to fill another on the team, radioing pit calls. Meanwhile, they trust the kinfolk Dukes to carry on the county tax record investigation with Daisy's help. Abruptly, Daisy finds herself called away as well, when her college falls short of instructors for environmental studies, and asks her to take a teaching assignment. When Horace hears of the 3-Duke departure, he celebrates, thinking he's won. It's short-lived when Dale and Gavin Duke (YOU name 'em, then, this is harder than you'd think, LOL) discover one of Horace's many schemes and begin to realize that something is very amiss in Hazzard County. But they can't seem to turn around without running into (literally) Roger B. Coltrane, who, after several wrecked patrol cars later, is now convinced that when it comes to Dukes, less is more, and none is better. The ensuing cat-and-mouse chases of the law vs. Dukes come to an end when Roger succeeds in arresting Dale and Gavin. The farm is all but lost, and all looks bleak. Dale Duke makes his one phone call. ( after being overcharged for it, as Sheriff Roger B. Coltrane is getting the hang of this cop-for-money thing.) Dale calls in the last Duke reinforcement left, that being their cousin, an attractive woman by the name of Mandy Duke. (Okay, I have a hard time coming up with Duke names, I admit it.) Mandy is a sweet-looking, demure-sounding woman who just happens to be an over-the-road truck driver. When she steps down for the cab of her semi in high heels and scanty denim shorts, the Sheriff forgets why the hell he pulled her over. He soon realizes that this newest newcomer to Hazzard is another Duke, however, when she pancakes his cruiser. (Being a well-bred lady, she takes pains to make sure Roger is out of the car first.) After the squad car is roadkill, Mandy proceeds to aid her cousins in their escape from jail, leading us up to the all-hell-breaks-loose sequence. Dale and Gavin, thanks to hearing Horace's bragging while they were incarcerated, find the evidence they need and flee Hazzard with it, intending to take it to the State office in Atlanta and bust Horace Hogg wide open. Horace calls in some big guns, baddie types who put results over method, and the General Lee is in flight from hired goons, and from Sheriff Roger B. Coltrane, but it is aided by a semi truck. In the end sequence we see car stunts that remind us why wholesale automotive destruction is such fun...and we see the General fly, of course! Does the farm get saved? Does Horace Hogg find a way to wiggle off the hook if it does? Will Sheriff Roger B. Coltrane survive his first 30 days in office? If Bo and Luke and Daisy find their fill-in positions become permanent career offers, will Dale, Gavin and Mandy Duke ( I apologize for these names! Gah! ) stay on the Duke farm to tend it? Would there be a sequel????? (just in case any desperate scriptwriters are under incredible pressure and might, when faced with no viable alternative, be tempted to lift this half-ass concept off the board... note that all applicable copyrights apply to concept above. Anyone wanting to leave a personal reaction to this script idea - so long as it isn't violent - can email me at briancoltrane@yahoo.com, or PM me here on HazzardNet. Otherwise, you can share some feedback right on this thread.) If anyone else has script ideas, please share 'em! If y'all remember Dukes episodes like "Strange Visitor to Hazzard" , that's argument right there for being concerned about what this movie script entails. Heh.
  4. Brian let Rosco's words settle a moment, then repied. "Yeah, this jail holds criminals in so well, MaryAnne practically had to blast to get me out! Meantime, yer out at an important corn dog investigation..." The rant is ceased a moment, as the suggestion of food sinks in. "Wait, you just had a corn dog and now yer talkin' dinner? Man, where do you cops put it all? Never seen nothin' like it...but yeah, a home-cooked meal would be good. So long as you ain't the one cookin'. Khee!" As Brian started to walk to the door, he stopped to add one more thing, giving Rosco a clasp to the shoulder. "It's good to see you again, cousin Sheriff. "
  5. Brian took a step up to Rosco. "Well, if it ain't the Hazzard County Sheriff himself! Y'all ever give thought to upgradin' this here hoosegow into the twentieth century? I'll have you know, I just spent thirty days....thirty-one, to be pree-cise, countin' every brick n' bar in the place. And I'll tell ya, these digs could stand improvement. You call this a jail?"
  6. Mustering dignity as required for the occassion, Brian adjusts his jacket collar, holds his head high, and steps through the slightly open cell door. "One small step for man...one great leap for bad guys everywhere. KHEEHAAA!" He turns to MaryAnne, offers her a handshake. "No hard feelin's, cousin. It's been a long thirty days, but the law is the law....an' you an' I are still kin, even if we're on opposite sides once in awhile"
  7. "Ah, shaddap. Y'all can't prove nothin' ." With a good-natured chuckle, Brian watches MaryAnne work at the hinges. "Anytime now, cousin...whatever ya do, don't strip the screws or somethin', or bust the screwdriver....Coltranes and tools don't mix too well, ya know."
  8. "@#$&*%#," Brian muttered back witha grin. "I thought you'd string me along till I confessed to bein' the one who super-glued the drawers shut on the bookin' desk....but you didn't get it outta me. KHEE!"
  9. "Awright, smarty cop....I'm callin' your bluff. Ah refuse to believe you'd do somethin' that crazy. You're the responsible one in the Coltrane clan! You wouldn't do nothin' to destroy county property...or a county prisoner, for that matter!"
  10. Brian gave the box of gunpowder a long look. It was probably the equivilent of a few sticks of dynamite. His dark eyes then flicked to the unlit match in MaryAnne's fingers. "You wouldn't."
  11. "This is a little more n' ah anticipated for obtainin' freedom! Mind ya, I want out, but I don't want off the planet !" Brian wraps both hands around the bars and goes eye to eye with MaryAnne. "But if your tryin' to rattle a confession outta me by threatin' to use dynamite on that cell door, you can just do your damn worst. 'Cause I ain't fallin' for it. No cop interrogation has ever broken me yet, and you n' your Hazzard firecrackers won't break me now! Hell, I dare ya!"
  12. "GAAAAAAH!! Ain't that just a hair over the top, cousin?"
  13. "I didn't realize Hazzard had a 'normal.' I've never seen anythin' constitutin' normal around here." After waiting a beat, seeks out MaryAnne, looking at her through the bars. "Hey, Deputy! Either Rosco ain't got his ears on, or he's decided to let me rot. How about we try calling in the Army Corps of Engineers?"
  14. "It's good to see ya, Game Warden. How's Fang?" After looking around to make sure Fang didn't wander into the cell somehow, notices Hilery's cats. "Hello Kitty! And kitty, and kitty. You remember me, eh?" Gives each of the cats a friendly scratch behind the ears. "Got everything here except the Duke's mule, and I don't think that'd be a good idea. Khee!" Looks back to the assembled visitors through the bars. "So I miss anythin' in town? It's been quiet?"
  15. Gives a nod and a smile to Val through the bars. Turns to speak to Hilery. "Yeah, I dug the comics, thank ya. Mighty kind. And I think me annoyin' the deputies went a long way towards gettin' outta here in 30 instead a' 60. Khee!" Takes a look at the clock on the wall... "Though if ol' Rosco don't show tonight, I'm gonna be in here until MaryAnne gets a wreckin' ball to tear the place down. Might never get out...in one piece..."
  16. Seeing the expressions on the gathered faces, gives a mild smile. "Don't ya'll be too sorry for me. I'm a bad guy. Bad guys go to jail every once in awhile. Ya kinda get used to it." Takes a out a cigarette and lights up, exhaling a stream of smoke. "So what's new on the outside?"
  17. "Thanks, ya'll. Heh." Gives a smile to Daney and Mac, and to anyone else in the vicinity. Holds on to bars in a loose grip, leaning forward lazily. "Good to see everybody. I've been havin' quite the vacation here. No work, just sittin' around readin' comic books, smokin' cigarettes, pacin' around in a circle...you outta try it! Ya don't know what yer missin'."
  18. Mutters a comment as MaryAnne makes the radio call... "She's got a problem?? She should try it from this side of the iron..."
  19. "MaryAnne, that was an almighty ruckus and ya damn near blew yer own head off. Not to mention the free coronary I got with purchase!" Crawls out from under bunk, eyes Mac and Daney. "And now this is turned into some kinda public spectacle. Mac, I appreciate yer offer, but I know MaryAnne. Hazzard law got me in here, Hazzard law is gonna halfta get me out. Lord knows how." Walks up to bars, watches smoke drift from MaryAnne's gun. Speaks to the Deputy. "I'm beginnin' to think the chipped beef served here nightly beats the lead slug you're tryin' to serve up. Any other bright ideas, blue-sleeves?"
  20. "GAH! MaryAnne, if'n you ain't noticed, I ain't got too much room to hide!! Ya tryin' to get one of us killed?!" Seeing that MaryAnne is pulling the hammer back, abandons the debate and dives under the jail bunk. "You been on one patrol too many, I'm tellin 'ya...."
  21. "@#&*%#& sonofa #@&%* an' #$%@#*@!!!" After taking a breath, looks through the bars, and says: "Awright. Let's not lose our heads heah. One lock, two Coltranes. This ain't no big deal, it's just a little dee-lay, we'll figure it out. Now yer keys ain't workin', and the lockpick ain't workin'. And I can tell ya, I tried stickin' a dinner fork in there the other night, and that didn't work. So we can rule out those things as e-ffective solutions."
  22. "You have got to be kiddin' me. MaryAnne, if you don't git that door open inside a' ten seconds, I'm gonna holler for Amnesty International, and then I'm gonna file a complaint with the Civil Liberties Union, n' THEN I'm gonna cuss like hell." After watching MaryAnne fight with the lock another moment, takes a two-handed grip on the bars, lowers head, sighs....and then.... "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! This can't be happenin'!! This is cruel and unusual punishment!! Somebody call a locksmith!!"
  23. "Man, it'll be good to get outta heah. 'Course I gotta admit, it's one of the better jails I been in...." *watches MaryAnne fumble with lock* "Uh...not that it's my place to tell you how to do yer job, Deputy...but you got the right key there?"
  24. At MaryAnne's softly-spoken command, Brian gave a downcast nod and turned away. He knew Hilery would be alright in MaryAnne's capable care; his own presence, however, was unlikely to offer any comfort. Diablo's motor rumbled as the long black Chevy pulled away from the scene. Brian knew the instructed destination of the courthouse wasn't a random selection on MaryAnne's part. He was fully aware of what it implied. There were a number of different roads that he could take, a number of evasive options that briefly crossed his mind out of habit. But as he looked in his rear-view mirror and saw Hilery standing there, wiping tears... ...there was no thought of disobeying MaryAnne. None.
  25. Back at the roadside where Hilery wept, Brian heard the pain in the young woman's heaving sobs, and it broke his heart. He knew that if he and Chet hadn’t fought, Hilery's friend would still be alive.... Slowly, Brian knelt down next to Hilery, and gently touched her shoulder. The thought that he was responsible for Chet's death, albiet indirectly, could not be driven from his mind. Brian had cost Hilery the one person in life she was closest to, he knew there was nothing, absolutely nothing, he would ever be able to do to make this right. Never, during his time in Hazzard, had he been involved in someone losing their life. He took pains to behave in this county; MaryAnne and Rosco had trusted him enough to give him a home here, a life away from the Atlanta Syndicate, away from his own past and the misdeeds in it…. ...and now, here at his feet, was the result of his battle with Chet. Brian remained the number one bad guy in Hazzard...but a life was lost, and the fact it was an accident did nothing to ease Hilery's tears.... ...and did nothing to ease the guilt in Brian's soul. "Hilery...." he choked out, trying to reach through her pain. "Hilery...c'mon...let's get you somewhere safe. Please calm down….we’re gonna help you….please don’t cry so hard….†Brian bowed his head, and his eyes shut as Hilery’s tears spent themselves. “...Forgive me...†he whispered inaudibly, and whether he was speaking to Hilery, or to MaryAnne, or both, was uncertain. Finally, he lifted his face to look at MaryAnne, dark eyes meeting blue…and in that moment, the weight of it all was too much, and he blinked back the moisture as it sprang to his eyes. His throat tightened and he tried to speak, but there was nothing to be said….nothing that would make Hilery feel better or bring Chet back. Most of all, there was nothing to ease the memory of that one, fleeting moment, where he had grasped Chet’s hand and felt the weak clench in return…and in that moment, two enemies, Duke and Coltrane, had gained peace…and with it, the first chance of friendship… …and as quickly as it had come, it was lost forever. His vision blurred, and Brian looked away.
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