Jamanda

When you only by Daisy brand sour cream, even though other brands are cheaper. When you go to an auto show in Kansas City, even though you have to pay to park and you have little interest in cars, but Ben Jones is going to be there! (Jam and I have yet to decide if we are going to do this or not!)

Jethro and Cliff ran over to the garage at full speed. "You'll never believe it man!" Jethro called out. "That kid just went into the Coltrane house!" "No way!" said T.J., his eyes wide. "What kid?" "Some short kid," said Jethro, gasping for breath. "Didn't say nothin'. We just wanted to see if he could hit..." "Yeah," said Cliff, catching up. "He hit a long fly right into the ol' man's window..." "NO!" T.J. gasped. "Yeah," said Jethro. "And then he walks right up to the front door...and...and...it's just to horrible..." "And what?" T.J. asked. "The old man took him into the house!" Cliff wimpered. "He's dead," said T.J. "Ol' man Coltrane never leaves survivors." "Wait a minute," said Lily. "A short kid who wouldn't talk hit a long fly ball?" "Yes'm," said Cliff, who hadn't noticed she was there. "LUCAS!" Lily yelled. "Where is this house?" "Over there," said T.J., pointing to the area. "But I wouldn't go after 'em Lily. You don't know what Ol' Man Coltrane does to kids that break his window." "Remember what happened to Harvey?" Cliff wimpered. "IT AIN'T NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO THAT KID WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!" Lily yelled. "Come on Tommy." "Don't mess with her when she's mad," Tommy told the guys as Lily grabbed his hand. The three boys stood there gaping at her as Lily stormed off towards the house.

My friends loved this movie and it shows a lot about the Southern culture. I do have a question though. At one point, the mother gets excited and says she's going to "put on the dog!" My friends and I could never figure out what this meant. Mind you, we're all from the Midwest and are not completely familiar with the Southern dialect. Also, is this phrase in any direct relation to what Cooter and Enos have both said before? "You done scared my dog!"

Lucas walked up to the front of the house, where a fat basset hound was lying on the porch. The dog looked up when he approached, sniffed him a little, and then put its head down and went back to sleep. Lucas took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. There was some shuffling inside the house and the sound of someone muttering. "Them dang kids again...I'll give 'em what fer this time." Lucas was thinking about running for it when the door opened. A tall man with a lot of gray hair and wrinkles stood there with the ball. "Oh," he said, a bit taken aback. "Yer a new one." Lucas held up a $10 bill. He usually carried one with him just in case. "You've done this before haven't you son?" said the man, taking the money. "I supposed you kin have yer ball back." Lucas grinned as the man tossed him the ball. He was about to leave when the man said... "Wait a minute. Come back here." Lucas turned around and looked at the man, who seemed to be studying him closely. "Well I'll be," said the man. "I know who you are! Your daddy's running for sherriff!" Lucas nodded. "Well come in!" said the man, suddenly excited. "Come on in son!" Lucas wasn't sure about this old man, but he didn't want to be rude either so he let himself be shuffled into the house. "Tell me son," said the old man, sitting down in an easy chair. "Your daddy ever tell you about ol' Sherriff Rosco P. Coltrane?" Lucas grinned.

Lucas had a bad habit of wandering off on his own. But even when he suffered the consequences last time by running into a skunk, he still slipped away when his sister started going on about losing a boy to her best friend. He hadn't gone far at first, just to the other side of the square where a couple of kids were playing catch. Lucas watched them for a while, when one of them asked if he could hit. Lucas nodded and the kid handed him a bat. "Okay kid," said the boy, who was a lot taller than him and had a lot of curly hair. "I've been wanting to try out my curveball, but Cliff here can't hit the side of a barn." "Ain't my fault Jethro," said the other boy, who was short and stocky and wore glasses. "Your bat's too heavy." "Whatever," said Jethro. "Back up. Let's see if he can hit it." Lucas grinned and gave the bat a couple of swings. The tall boy threw his curve ball, which was a lot like other curve balls Lucas had dealt with before. Lucas swung hard, as he always did, and the ball flew through the air. "Woah!" called the other boy, running after it. The ball flew out of the square and into a nearby residential area...right into... "OH NO!" Cliff groaned. "Not that window!" "Oh we're dead," said Jethro. "Remember what he said last time?" "He's gonna bury us alive for sure," Cliff whined. Lucas shook his head, shoved the bat over to Jethro, and started towards the house. "Wait!" said Jethro. "Are you crazy!" "Don't do it man!" called Cliff. "I can't watch," said Jethro. "Maybe he'll let him off easy since he's new," said Cliff. "I doubt it," said Jethro. "That old man never lets ANYONE off easy."

Later that morning, the Strate family spent some time in town. Enos met with the county officials in the courthouse while Daisy did some shopping. Lily was left in charge of the other two and the three of them explored the square. The first thing Lily found was a phone booth. "Hey ya'll," said Cherry, crossing the square. "Whatcha doin?" "Lily's calling her boyfriend in L.A." said Tommy. "Oh," said Cherry. "Hope she's got a lot of change." "She does," said Tommy. "She says if there's any left I can get a soda." "Right," said Cherry, looking at Lucas. "Don't he say nothin'?" Lucas raised an eyebrow. "No," said Tommy. "Only if you talk about baseball." "Oh," said Cherry, shrugging. "To each his own I guess." Then there was a scream. "I don't believe it!" Lily cried, bursting out of the phone booth. "Janice went out with Johnathan! My best friend! How could they forget about me!?" "So what?" Cherry asked, patting her back. "Who needs them?" Lily stared at her in disbelief. "The only man a girl can trust is her daddy," said Cherry. "I heard that in a movie once." "But it was my best friend," Lily wimpered. "How could she do that to me?" "Because girls are even worse," said Cherry. "Come on. I'll buy ya a coke." The nearest drink machine was in front of Cooter's garage, which was where Luke was doing business with the local mechanic. "I can have it out of here by Thursday," Cooter said. "It'll sure be nice if you can get it back on the road." "I aim to," said Luke. "Nothin'll give ol' Enos more satisfaction than chasing this car. Now where's that girl?" "Hey," said Cherry, handing out the drinks. "Ya'll met T.J. yet?" "Who?" asked Lily. "Him," said Cherry, nodding to the street. A kid on a dirt bike was popping wheelies and skidding across the pavement around the square. "I've seen him before," said Lily, realizing who it was. "But we haven't really...met." "He's a card," said Cherry, waving. "Hey T.J.! Over here!" The kid drove up and skidded to a stop right in front of them. "Wow," said Tommy. "Lil," said Cherry. "T.J. Davenport. T.J., this is Lily Strate." "Hi," said Lily. "Uh hi," said the boy, taking off his helmet. "Your dad's running for sherriff right?" "Uh yeah," said Lily, glancing over at the courthouse. "Is he really as honest as Abe Lincoln?" "Yes he is," Tommy piped up. "Daddy wouldn't lie if his life depended on it." "So I heard," said T.J. "But is he fair?" "Too fair," said Tommy. "I wanted to sleep in the attic." "Huh?" "Never mind," said Lily. "We'd better go. I think I see Mom." "Okay," said Tommy. "Nice to have met you," said T.J. "Yeah," said Lily. "Hey," said Cherry. "Where'd your brother go?" "I'm right here," said Tommy. "Oh drat!" Lily said, looking around. "I hate it when he does that!" "Oh," said Tommy. "I think Lucas went that way."

Lily slept in the next morning. She had surprised her dad by insisting on sleeping in the attic, even though it hadn't been cleaned yet. But she didn't care much that it was dusty. She liked the idea of being isolated from everyone else. She woke to the sound of voices below. She could hear clearly when she put her ear to the floor. "But why does she get to sleep up there?" Tommy was whining. "She found it," said Enos. "Besides, she's tall enough to get up there." "You weren't that tall when you used to sleep up there," Daisy reminded him. "No," he said. "But I had other ways of getting up there. I usually used my fishing pole... Lily rolled over and looked in the corner. There was an old fishing pole there with a lot of tangled line, a fishing basket, and a tackle box. Despite the evidence, she was having a hard time of picturing her father living up here.

For those who read our story, there has been a bit of a change, as we made Tommy a 5 year old and added a brother. Lucas Strate is now the 10 year old brother. He's an avid fan of the L.A. Dodgers, and loves baseball in general, especially hitting and pitching. Keeps to himself most of the time. Cherry Duke is Luke's 15 year old daughter. A red-head tomboy who wears overalls, climbs trees, and goes barefoot. Has yet to admit an interest in boys, but likes to tease other girls about boys. Other characters of this generation are in the works. Stay tuned!

"But you remember what you said a few years ago?" Daisy asked Bo and Luke. "About why you two were finally able to settle down?" "Sure do," said Luke, slapping Enos on the shoulder. "We owe it all to you buddy." "Me?" asked Enos. "What'd I do?" "You waited," said Bo. "That's what you did." Enos didn't get it. "You see Enos," said Luke. "Bo and I were always running around after women, thinking that that was what love was all about." "We never did understand why none of them would stick around," said Bo. "But then you left for California," said Luke. "The second time, and gave Daisy your word that once you had the money, you'd come back for her." "And you actually kept it," said Bo. "That's when Uncle Jesse sat us down, pointed at you and said..." "You boys see that," Luke said, in his best imitation of their dear Uncle Jesse. "That's what love really is. Being willin' to wait all these years for the right one." "Shucks fellas," said Enos, turning red. "They're right though," said Daisy, snuggling up to him. "No matter how many times I flirted around, dated other guys, tried to run off with other guys, Enos was always there waitin'." "You were worth waiting for Daisy," Enos grinned. "Oh Enos!" Daisy sighed, melting into his arms. "How is it he always knows the right thing to say to a girl?" Luke asked. "Beats me," said Bo. "You're supposed to be the smart one." Jill and Amy came outside carrying Daisy Mae and Tommy, both asleep. Lily, Cherry and Lucas followed them. "We'd best get on home," said Enos, taking Tommy from Amy.

Dinner took place outside at the picnic table. At least that's where Daisy, Jill, and Amy sat down to eat. Bo, Luke, and Enos wound up sitting on the hoods of the cars, talking about old car chases. Cherry sat in her tree while Lily sat under it. Lucas sat on the porch, where little Daisy Mae kept trying to steal his peas. Tommy was content to run around the yard, taking food from anybody, and asking his usual run of questions. "Did you really win the Hazzard Derby?" he asked Amy. "Even though your ol' boyfriend was tryin' to get ya?" "Well yes," said Amy. "But..." "Wow!" said Tommy, looking at Jill. "An' you got all that money from Sherriff Rosco to save an orphanage?" "Sure did," said Jill. "You have heard a lot." "Too much if you ask me," said Daisy, giving Tommy a buscuit. "Run along now." Tommy skipped over to the porch where little Daisy Mae was pulling on Lucas's shirt. "I think she wants to sit on your lap," Tommy said, taking a big bite of his buscuit. Lucas held his plate up and the two year old sat down between his knees. "She likes you Lucas," said Tommy. "Good thing you don't smell no more." Lucas threw a pea at Tommy and Daisy Mae laughed and clapped her hands. Tommy laughed and ran over to the girls. "So how old are ya?" Cherry asked. "Sixteen," said Lily. "You?" "Fifteen." "Really? You look younger than that." "It's the overalls," said Cherry. "Ever wanna look younger, just wear overalls. Pigtails work great too, but my hair's too short." "I think I'd rather look sixteen," said Lily. "To each his own," said Cherry, taking a big bite of fried chicken. "I figure boys'll leave me alone if I look like a kid." "I suppose," said Lily, raising an eyebrow. "Lily likes boys," said Tommy. "Shut up Tommy," said Lily. "Especially Johnathan Braddock," said Tommy. "I said shut up!" "She's got pictures o' him," Tommy teased. "Is he cute?" asked Cherry. "Waddya think?" asked Tommy, snatching a picture out of Lily's pocket. "Give me that!" But Cherry already grabbed it. "Not bad," she said. "Varsity Letter Jacket...Football...good hair...all city slicker though." "Well we are from L.A.," said Lily, grabbing her picture back. "Won't find a lot of those around here," said Cherry. "Just smelly country boys." At that, Lily remembered the boy on the dirt bike by the garage. Tommy, having lost interest in teasing his sister, ran over to the men by the car. "I told you," said Enos. "You ask me that fool question one more time..." "All right all right," Luke laughed. "We'll give it a rest." "The answer's too obvious anyway," Bo grinned. "You fellas are something else," Enos laughed. "Remind me again why I ever left." "Better pay," said Luke. "To see the city," said Bo. "And so people'd stop asking you that fool question," Luke grinned. "Not really," said Enos. "Turk somehow found out about that and he was almost as bad as you two." "Almost?" asked Bo. "But not quite," said Enos. "He never tied me up and hung me on a wall for a week." "They really did that Daddy?" Tommy asked. "Where'd you come from?" asked Bo. "We just went over that," said Luke. "Will you give it a rest!" Enos laughed, picking Tommy up. "Yes, they really did hang me on a wall. Poor Sherriff Rosco thought I'd gone AWOL, but he finally found me when the nail broke." "It broke?" Bo asked. "Yes," said Enos, glaring at them. "Broke after I'd fallen asleep for the upteenth time and I crashed to the floor. Sherriff Rosco busted in, saw me lying there and said 'Enos you dipstick you mean you've been hanging on that wall this whole time!'" "And what'd you say?" asked Bo. "Nothing." "Nothing?" "I had a gag in my mouth remember? You put it there!" "Still bitter huh?" Luke said. "I am NOT bitter," said Enos. "And I'm never sarcastic either. You're just lucky I was in love with your pretty cousin or I might've locked you up for good." "Nah," said Bo. "Boss and Rosco never succeeded. Why would you be any different?" "You're probably right," said Enos, while Tommy ate the rest of his pecan pie. "But you're still lucky..." "You married our pretty cousin," said Bo and Luke together. "I married your pretty cousin," said Enos, opening his mouth so Tommy could shove the rest of the pie in it.

One of our favorites is actually a parady of a famous country song. Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Youth Ministers By Tim Jones (Youth Minister and Comedian) Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be youth ministers Don't let em strum guitars or drive old church vans Let em be preachers or teach in Japan Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be youth ministers People will wonder when he'll be full grown When he'll get a church of his own. Youth guys are experts at frisbee, Nintendo and putt putt He'll have to explain why it rained and the van windows weren't shut His desk is piled high with squirt guns, stale fries, and old yo-yos but no extra money And nobody thought that that joke about snot in his sermon was all that funny. Mamas don't let your babies think of working with youth groups At camp he'll wrestle with kids on the floor, Who sneak out of their bunks, when he starts to snore. Mamas don't let your babies go into youth work Kids'll tp his car and when they act bizzare In public he'll look like a jerk His research consists of malls, VH1 and comic books He won't get much use out of all of those long Greek classes he took. The new kids are rowdy they cuss but only around his grouchiest critics And that waterballoon that he jokingly threw left a welt that needed a medic Mamas you may think this lifestyle for your babies is strange very strange But you can be proud when you're home in the clouds To see how many lives he has changed.

I believe it was filmed in Conyers Georgia, right outside of Atlanta.

Cherry sat in the old oak tree out in the back of the farm and watched the old station wagon drive up. "Dad!" she called, scrambling down. "They're here!" A man in a blue plaid shirt with short black hair a goatee ran out the back door. "Daisy!" he called. "Enos!" "Hey Luke!" called Daisy, getting out of the car. "Wow Daisy," said Luke after giving her a hug. "Prison food really puts on the weight don't it?" "LUKAS K. DUKE!" Daisy laughed, slapping his shoulder. Then with a grin. "Luke, I've only been here overnight." Luke laughed as Enos and the kids gathered around. "Hey Enos ol' buddy," Luke said. "Now you can tell me...any change?" "Change in what?" asked Tommy. Enos nodded over to his wife. "What do you think?" he grinned. "The evidence speaks for itself." "Huh?" Tommy said. "Enos!" Daisy scolded. "Sorry," said Luke. "I just had to ask." "Ask what?" Tommy asked. "Never you mind," said Daisy. "Sure you did," said Enos. "Where's Bo?" "Picking up the womenfolk," said Luke. "They'll be here in a minute. In the meantime...I take it the pretty one's Lily." "That she is," said Enos. "Hi," Lily said, shaking Luke's hand. "Howdy," said Luke. "Now which is my namesake?" "Yer wha?" asked Tommy. "This is Lucas," said Daisy, putting a hand of Lucas's shoulder. "Howdy Lucas," said Luke, shaking the boy's hand. Lucas smiled weakly. "So you must be Tommy," said Luke, looking at the smaller boy. "Dat's me!" said Tommy. "Who're you?" "Ain't you figured it out by now?" Luke laughed. "I'm Luke Duke, your mama's cousin." "LUKE DUKE!" Tommy squealed. "The same one that won the Hazzard Derby? An' hijacked a fertilizer truck of slot machines? an..." "There he goes again," Enos said, rolling his eyes. "I told you to quit telling him those stories!" Daisy scolded. "But he likes those stories," said Enos. "an' stole a rolls from a mad dog? ..." "I think you just like tellin' them," Daisy said. "When most of them make me look like an idiot?" Enos asked. "an' tied Daddy up on a wall?..." "My case rests," said Enos. " an' drove an 18-wheeler backwards?...an'..." "That's enough Tommy," said Daisy. "You're quite the storyteller I take it," Luke told Enos. "It's the only way to get him to go to sleep," Enos sighed. "Oh," said Luke. "My daughter's here somewhere. Probably in that tree again. Cherry! Get down here!" "Mom's coming Dad," said the girl, jumping down from the tree. "Wow," said Enos. "She has an easier time with that tree than I ever did." "Is that the same tree that..." Tommy started. "Tommy!" said Enos. "Will you hush?" Luke introduced Cherry to her kinfolk. She was about Lily's age, but looked a lot younger. She wore a red checkered shirt under dirty overalls and she had a lot of curly red hair that stuck out from under a black bandanna. She didn't wear shoes at all as she stood by her father and chewed on a toothpick. Another car drove up and several people came out to hugs and introductions. Luke went over to kiss his wife, Amy Creevy Duke, who proceded to scold her daughter for not wearing shoes. The tall and handsome Bo hugged Daisy and naturally teased Enos in the same way his cousin had. Bo's wife, Jill Dodson Duke, stood behind him shyly while holding a little girl. "Oh here honey," said Bo, taking the girl. "Daisy, this is little Daisy Mae." "Oh she's so adorable," said Daisy. "Hey there Daisy Mae." The little girl looked at Daisy with big blue eyes, giggled, and hid her face in Bo's yellow shirt, which matched her mop of curly hair. "She's a little shy," said Bo. "Isn't she the cutest thing?" Daisy said. "Sure is," said Enos. "Well come on now!" said Amy. "Let's quit jawin' so we can go eat!" "That's my woman!" said Luke. Amy stepped on his foot. "Some things never change," Enos said, grinning to himself.

"No Tommy," Daisy told the little boy as they came into the house. "You are NOT going to catch that pole-cat!" "Awwww Moooommm," Tommy whined. "Lucas is ready now," Enos said. "Where's Lily?" Daisy asked. Enos grinned and pointed up. There were some rather defined thumping noises coming from the attic. "Lily!" Enos called, banging on the ceiling. "Come on Lily, get down from there!" Lily crawled over to the trapdoor to see her father grinning up at her. "I see you found my old room," he said. "You actually slept up here?" she asked. "Sure did," he said, holding his hands up to her. "One of the few places I had where I could be alone." Lily slid down into her father's arms. He lowered her to the floor like she didn't weigh a pound. "Can that be my room?" she asked. "Please?" "Fine by me," he said. "I always liked it." "Oh thank you Daddy!" she said, kissing his cheek and running out to the car. Enos grinned and touched his cheek. Kisses from his daughter had been getting fewer and fewer as she grew up. He sighed and latched the door in the ceiling. "Are ya'll ready to go now?" Daisy said, smiling. "Bo and Luke are waiting."

Daisy stood outside the bathroom door as Enos dumped tomato juice over Lucas' head. "Hee, you look like a gingerbread man," Enos laughed. Lucas retaliated by getting a mouthful of tomato juice and squirting it in his dad's face. Enos blinked a bit and grinned, "I guess I deserved that. Boss and Rosco didn't like it either." "Think ya'll will be ready by five?" Daisy asked through the door. "Should be," said Enos. "Did you burn the clothes? Skunk don't come out." "Yes dear, but he didn't like it none. That was his favorite Dodgers shirt." "We'll get you another one Lucas." Lucas licked tomato juice off of his face. "I'm going out back to check on Tommy. I think he wants to find that skunk." Lucas shook his head frantically, spraying Enos with tomato juice. "You better find him Daisy," Enos said. While Daisy went out back to find Tommy, Lily went back to the front room and gazed at the ceiling. She finally looked around and saw and old chair that looked sturdy enough to stand on. She moved it to the right spot, stood on it, and could just reach it. It was a small metal ring with a hook in it. Lily pulled on the hook, and had to twist it a bit to get it out. Once it was free, a small section of the ceiling swung down on hinges that had been covered with plaster. Lily was a fairly strong girl and with a bit of a jump, was able to hoist herself up into the small opening. When she looked around at what was up there, all she could say was... "Whoa!" The attic was drafty, as the sloping roof had some shingles missing, and the window down at the end was stuck slightly open. The floor was littered with rocks, pieces of paper, some broken pencils, sticks, and a lot of dust. Several metal traps were hanging on the sloping wall. One had some small bones in it. In the far corner was a pile of old dusty quilts, piled up on an old stained matress. Next to that, was an old wooden crate with an oil lamp on it and some books inside it. Lily went over to the crate, pulled out a book, and brushed the dust off of it. It was an old-fashioned primary reader, featuring Dick and Jane. She opened it and saw that on the inside cover, someone had scrawled out with a dull pencil... This book belongs to Enos Strate.

If you want our theory as to what would have happened, read our story THE NEXT GENERATION in the Fics in Progress forum. Just a little advertisement. We've gotten some good feedback already.

Cooter was working in his garage when he saw the familiar face coming out of the general store. "Why Daisy Duke!" he called out. "I was wonderin' when you folks'd get to town!" "Hey Cooter," she said, shifting the bag of cans to one arm to give him a hug. "Or should I say," said Cooter. "Mrs. Daisy Duke Strate?" "You should," said Daisy. "If Enos wins sherriff he'd give you a ticket." "He better win sherriff," said Cooter. "With ol' Rosco retired now, the only one runnin' against him is ol' Hughie." "Cooter," Daisy said. "If Hughie beats Enos, then we've made our trip for nothing cuz we'd just go on back to California." "We would?" Lily asked. "Don't you worry," said Daisy. "Enos is gonna win. He's got to." "And he will," said Cooter. "Oh these are our kids Cooter," said Daisy, nodding to them. "Lily and Tommy." "And another on the way I see," said Cooter. "Ol' Enos's been busy." "Cooter!" "Ain't got that reputation no more," said Cooter, shaking his head. "No sir..." "Oh cut that out," said Daisy. "How far along are ya?" "Three months." "Is that all?" Cooter asked. "Don't mean to be rude but, you look about five." "Well I should," said Daisy. "Seein' as it's twins." "TWINS!" Cooter laughed. "You didn't tell us it was twins!" "You're the first to know," said Daisy. "Now don't tell Bo and Luke. We'll do that later tonight at dinner." "My he HAS been busy." "Cooter..." "Done hit a double..." "COOTER DAVENPORT!" "So that makes four?" "Five," said Daisy. "We have another one, but he got sprayed by a skunk as soon as we got here." "Well ain't that a typical Hazzard county initiation," Cooter laughed. "That explains the tomato juice. I better let you go rescue him eh?" "Yeah we should get going," said Daisy. "Hey tell Enos I said Hey!" said Cooter. "I will," said Daisy. "Come on Tommy." "Wait," said Tommy, following his mother but looking back at Cooter. "Is that the same Cooter that crushed the fancy car into a box? An' drove a motorcycle through a door? an..." "Braggin' on me eh Enos?" Cooter said to himself as a kid drove up on a dirt bike. "Who's that Dad?" asked the teenage boy, taking off his helmet. "Oh that's an old friend," said Cooter. "You know the guy who came out from California to run for sherriff? That's his wife and kids." "Oh," said the boy, looking after them. Lily looked back at the garage and saw the boy on the dirt bike. His face was dirty, his hair was too long, and it looked like he was missing a tooth. The boy saw her too. "You looking at that girl ain't ya son?" Cooter grinned. "Huh?" said the boy. "Dad! Naw, I ain't got time for no girls!" "Sure ya don't," said Cooter. "Aw leave me alone," said the boy, getting off the bike and going into the garage. "Yeah you're right," said Cooter. "Sherriff's daughter'd be way out of your league anyway." Daisy drove on home with Tommy jabbering on. "An painted three cars the same to fool the bad guys? An painted an ice cream truck with naked babies on it that was full of guns? An kept havin to pull the sherriff out of the lake? An..."

Lily was thinking of pointing it out to Tommy when her parents came in. "Well," said her father. "What do ya'll think?" "It's gross," said Lily. "It's cool," said Tommy. "Where's Lucas?" Daisy asked. "Probly out back," said Enos. "Can't keep that boy inside for a minute." "Did you really live here Daddy?" asked Tommy. "Yep," said Enos, looking around. "I remember it being a lot bigger." "Well you're a lot bigger than you were then," said his wife. "True," said Enos. "But I have added on to it since then." "You did?" asked Daisy. "Yeah," said Enos. "I had this hallway, all the bedrooms, and the bathroom put in when I came back from California." "Which time?" "The first time." "I didn't know that," said Daisy. "What were you doing adding on to this house back then?" "Well," said Enos, blushing. "I was hoping to get married and move into it." "Oh really," said Daisy. "Oh no," said Lily. "They're gonna get mushy again." "It took a long time Daisy," said Enos, ignoring the groans from the kids. "Longer than I expected. I had to go back the second time to get enough money to finish it." "And when it was finally done..." said Daisy. "You wanted to live in California with me," Enos finished. "Oh Enos," said Daisy. "I didn't know you did all that!" "Well," he said. "I had wanted it to be a surprise. But with all the rush of moving and getting married...I'd kinda forgotten about the house." He looked around. "Really forgotten about it." "Oh Enos," said Daisy. "It's here now just when we need it. And with Bo and Luke and Cooter helping out, we'll have this place in shape in no time." "You think so Daisy?" Daisy smiled and kissed him. Tommy made a face and went out the back door. Lily studied what she found on the ceiling. Suddenly... "Phoo!" said Lily. "What is that?" "If I didn't know better," said Enos, looking up and slightly annoyed that he'd been interrupted, "I'd say that was a good old fashioned pole-cat." "A what?" asked Lily. "Mommy! Daddy!" called Tommy, running in. "Lucas got squirted by a black kitty!" "That wasn't no kitty," said Daisy. "You mean...?" Lily asked in disgust. Lucas walked up to the back door and the stench filled the room. He was none too happy about running into the skunk by the old outhouse in the backyard. "Come on Lucas," said Enos, taking his son to the bathroom. "Daisy, do we have any tomato juice?" "I'll have to run out and get some," said Daisy. "I'm coming too," said Tommy. "Lucas stinks." "Tommy," said Enos. "To us country folks, that smells a tiptoe through the tulips." "Speak for yourself," Daisy laughed. "That was one part of country life I didn't miss one bit. Come on Tommy." "You comin' Lily?" Tommy asked. "Might as well," said Lily, glancing at the ceiling. She'd have to investigate that later.

We've seen these for other shows and thought ya'll might like to start one. Note: These are just general ideas and not necessariy things that we have done You know you watch too much Dukes of Hazzard when... 1. You call the local sherriff Rosco. 2. You call your Bassett Hound "velvet ears" or "Flash" 3. You paint your car orange. 4. When somebody points out that something is your fault, you retaliate with "DON'T TRY TO BLAME ME!" 5. You call your best friend your "little fat buddy" even though he isn't fat. 6. You tell kids to call you Uncle Jesse just to you can yell back "I ain't your Uncle Jesse!" 7. You cut all your jeans into Daisy Duke shorts. 8. You sit through the entire DOH marathon on CMT. 9. You attempt to jump a creek in your car and wake up a week later in the hospital. 10. You say that you owe your brother-in-law nothing because "I married your fat sister" (but only if your wife isn't around)

Kinda like that old commercial on Cartoon Network that said that everything revolved around Velma (from Scooby Doo). Any other shows that can be linked back to DOH in 6 degrees or less?

Hey ya'll. Thanks to all of you who made comments on our fanfics here. We also have a website with past fanfics on it from our other favorite shows (The Monkees and VeggieTales) as well as some poems and short stories. We'd put Dukes fanfics on it to, but we no longer have the right computer program to update the website, so we'll just have to post them here . It's just one we made a long time ago with our sister Deb. So anyway, if you'd like to see some of our other stuff, you can visit it @ http://www.geocities.com/jamandeb3 Amanda also has her own website of HERETIC Cartoons that she made in college, which you can visit @ http://www.geocities.com/greenhat_99 Amanda is also pursuing writing professionally and is working on two different novels. One is almost done if anyone knows a good publisher.

From what I remember of the last show, it was just like the other shows and showed no hint that it was the last one. It's called Opening Night at the Boar's Nest and it's about a talent show. The second to last show, in my opinion, showed more signs of being the last one, as Enos and Daisy almost (and should have) got married. The third to last show I believe, is what one would call a "jumping the shark" episode, an episode that shows signs that the series is on it's last legs. This episode was Strange Visitor to Hazzard and has a UFO and an alien visiting the Dukes.

ROFLOL!!! "Well how'd you get that Harley up there in your room?...I can't hear ya Coy, quit revvin' it up boy!" I had that song on a tape, but I lost it. Then I bought the tape again and lost it again! For some reason, I can't ever keep track of that tape! Probably cuz I keep taking it on road trips, since the last place it was seen both times was on road trips. Maybe if I got it on a cd and kept it at home... Ray Stevens Greatest Hits for anyone who'd like to send me one.

On the commentary, John Schnieder mentioned that it's 3-2 beer since he was underage. I noticed that sometimes, it looks like Cooter is drinking rootbeer, something a lot darker than what Bo and Luke are drinking. Anyone else notice that?

Shriner's Convention is one of the funniest songs ever! That too, is the only time I've ever heard the name Coy. "Dadblameit Coy this here's Bubba!" Bubba was also used on the Dukes as the name of a bad guy. "What do you mean all you had to wear was a Hawarian flowerdy shirt?" I knew a guy named Beau in school, but he spelled his name different. "Coooooy! Don't you hang up on me!"