MaryAnne

Well there's just one problem with that, Alex. I'm not gonna go lookin' for him. See, I figured his pie in the sky bail wasn't gonna come to pass anyway, I knew he'd look for some way to break out. Afterall, why write a silly little story to get out of jail when you can just bust out and create chaos? *waves a hand in a forget-about-it fashion* Eh, let 'em have his fun. He'll be back. Hopefully in a enough of one piece so I can kick his posterior all over the place.

Not as sorry as Brian n' Chet are gonna be... *turns back to the cell and puts key in the lock. It's difficult to turn after having been jimmied but the lock releases. Opens the door and steps aside* Go on. Git. You still owe me dinner, but we'll do that when I'm more pleasant company...

*nods and stands up straight giving another sigh* Somehow I'm not surprised by any of that. I'm sure there's a dozen witnesses here who can attest to all that. *turns and paces a few steps away from the cell* And, I'm sure, nobody knows where Brian n' Chet are at this moment...

*one very unhappy deputy steps up to the cell and squats down to look at Alex* I'll give you a minute to unscramble your brains and then you can tell me what the hell happened here.

*long after all the commotion has passed, strolls into the booking room hours later and realizes immediately that something's wrong.* *looks toward the jail cell and sees Alex is the only one inside. Gives an unhappy sigh and walks toward the cell, noticing scratch marks on the lock. It had been jimmied.* *Inside the cell, Alex is.....*

I'd prefer you didn't hit each other at all but if you insist the betting window is still open folks! Just make a note on this here pad of paper... *pauses, looking at watch* Ah, dang, it's time for patrol. Well, I was gonna move ya Alex but I'll have to deal with you two later! Try to get some writin' done, eh, cousin? *knows this ain't gonna happen* *hooks key back to gunbelt and turns* Y'all behave now! *exits the booking room*

My kind. Awright, you two break it up. If Alex is gonna be takin' me to dinner sometime, I ain't goin' with him all busted up. And if you're gonna be writin' a story or two, Brian, you can't be beatin' up on Alex. So...! *steps toward the cell* You're losing your cellmate. I'm gonna have to put Alex in the other holding cell, downstairs, for the time bein', until we have our dinner. *holds cell key in hand and watches the two men*

True. I probably shoulda seperated 'em... *looks at Bo and then looks to the fight in the cell....* ....or I could take bets on who y'all think will win this fight? *digs into pocket* I got five bucks. Anybody in?

*glances at Daney and Lizzy and nods* Yeah. Wouldn't it be easier for me to get Alex out of the way for you, by having him take me to dinner? Then that'll satisfy his bail, he'll be out of your way and then you can concentrate on your work!--- *words spoken too late as Brian starts to fight with Alex* Ah, geez, is nothin' ever easy around here?

Nah, I don't think so. I think you can do it. If you stopped running your mouth long enough you'd probably get a lot written on a story. Maybe? Oh, that's right, it's Alex that's the chatterbox...

Somehow I figured you were havin' trouble killin' me off. How about I just die from exhaustion from kickin' you in the rear repeatedly?

Oh? What kind of trouble?

*clears throat* If I may interrupt this impromptu meeting of the Hazzard Flower Club, ah, Brian, you ain't answered my question. You got those stories done yet?

*returns to the booking room, having missed the initial pie lie bit. Which means having missed out on having the chance to say "I Spy A Pie Lie." Dang.* *notices the kid in the '73 shirt.* Man we just attract anybody around this joint. Khee! *looks toward cousin and Alex behind bars* Well, cousin, you got those stories done yet? Or were you running your mouth all night? *grins*

*thinks about this* Well, that would beat the heck out of a plain ol' cash bail. And I reckon I oughta be nice enough to accept, since I tricked ya into the jail there to begin with. Awright, Alex. Dinner it is.

Yes, paybacks are hell. Heh... *nods and looks at Alex* Yes, Alex, what about you? You got anything you'd like to offer for bail?

*listens with interest to the bail conditions.* Yer right. That is a mighty handsome bail... *thinks about it for a moment* Awright. Items two and three, once completed will grant your release. Item One will be a condition of parole. I agree to the terms, cousin. And... *smirks* I can't imagine why you'd be in the mood to get back to a story where I get killed off...

It would. *doesn't blink* And you know it...

*meets the sharp gaze with one equally as intense* Bail, my dear cousin, is a privilege, not a right. As far as I'm concerned, I could just flip a coin. I figure perhaps instead you'd like to earn your way out of jail so if you have anything worth considering, let's put it on the table.

*quietly watches Brian's angst filled reaction to the announcement of Chet as Temporary Actin' Lord of the Outlaws and watches the exchange of words between Brian and Chet. Once Chet exits the booking room, steps toward the bars, looking at Alex and Brian for a long moment.* And while you two are in there, you're gonna remember who I am... Now, bein' as I'm a Coltrane, I ain't never been accused of making smart decisions. *glances at Lizzy Jackson-Davenport* Maybe this one ain't so smart either. Time will tell. But since time is all we got at the moment and I don't intend to have you two in here for long anyway, it's probably time to start discussin' your bail. Afterall, I figure both of you, Brian especially, will be very motivated to meet bail conditions to be released. Now, if only I could figure out what your bail is gonna be...

Well, I reckon y'all wear different size boots so you don't have to give up your footwear. Just the title for a spell. Chet may not deserve it, but he's got it as of right now... *turns to Chet* Chet Duke! You are hereby appointed as Temporary Actin' Lord of the Outlaws of Hazzard County. I ain't gonna make ya raise your hand and swear and oath to nothin' because...what would be the point? You're supposed to be a bad guy and all, bad guys don't take oaths. Except to each other. Honor among theives. But even then you can't trust that. HOWEVER...I would advise that you consider the honor which has been placed upon you and keep in mind that it is only temporary. Don't screw it up. *pauses and listens* Is that a train whistle I hear?

*the outburst tugs at the deputy's heartstrings. Draws in a breath, expression becoming stoic* I'm sorry, cousin. I can't back down, you know that. I don't want to keep you in here forever. Alex neither. I don't want to send you away. You'll face the punishment. You'll pay the bail. That's it.

Aw, I didn't want ya to git lonely. *grins* Aaaannnd....I might have something else up my sleeve. Since everybody loves a train wreck...

ROFL. You certainly have my sympathy. I was once imprisoned by dial-up and used to suffer the same fate. Hopefully someday you can dump dial up and go broadband or DSL or wireless or something and not have to suffer any longer!