BoJamesDuke

"Now I know that this is gonna be hard on ya Luke, and i ain't gonna like seeing Bo givin' up neither. But if he says he can't do it no more, then we have ta accept that until he's ready ta fight again. It could just be that he's too tired at the moment to fight right now,." He stood up and knelt down in front of Luke, placing his hands on Luke's shoulders and asks him to look at him. "I know he wants everythin' to be back to normal, we all do, but takin' foolish risks to achieve that ain't gonna help none. We's just end up with the results we got today. Let him do chores, but dont let him do too much, watch when the first signs of tiredness set in and then get him ta stop....Luke....I know its difficult, we went through the same thing with ya just after you came back from 'Nam....you remember? You wanted ta do everythin' and everythin' when you's was recoverin'...but we took it slow and look at ya now...."

Jesse immidiatly bristled when he heard about Bo doing chores but waited until Luke had finished before setting off. "Luke! I specifically told ya not to let him do anythin' that might put him in that position! I told ya that he wasn't ready yet, ta give it a few more days! What has gotten inta yer head boy?!" He took a deep breath, knowing in his heart that Luke meant well, that in fact in the beginnning before he fell Bo probably felt more normal, at ease with life again. He calmed slightly but sat forward and fixed his eldest with a firm stare. "Now I ain't surprised Bo's feelin' like this....I've been expectin' it ter happen since he got taken inta hospital and I don't want you thinkin' that you's let him down. If he quits fightin' and resigns himself to this it ain't yer fault there is nothin' that you can do about it. All you can do is support him and try to show him what he's thinkin' ain't so. But under no circumstances do you even blame yerself one bit fer any of this, do I make myself clear?"

For a moment he just sat looking at the syringe in Luke's hand, taking in all that Luke had said. He didn't have a clue what to say, what to do or how to feel. He supposed he should feel angry at the boys for going up there in the first place, but it had obviously been productive for the both of them, they had come back much more at ease, much happier. Eventually he managed to find his voice and said gruffly. "I think its a good idea that you get it checked Luke....then perhaps we can clear this up once and fer all....but if you ever try and keep things like this from me again I will take you out to that barn and give ya a switchin'...ya ain't tooo old fer it...."

Jesse regarded his oldest with a firm but gentle gaze, telling him that once he started with this there would be no getting out of it. If Luke wasn't telling him everything he would know. He motioned Luke into the living room, smiling his thanks to Daisy who he knew Luke had confided in first and pointed to Bo's room where B.L and Bo were. Daisy shook her head and followed Luke, signalling silently that Luke wanted her there. Jesse nodded silently and watched her as she leaned casually on the doorframe, watching. "Alright....what's this about Luke." HE said while sitting down in his armchair.

Daisy nods and grips his hand again once more before letting go and entering the house, smiling gently at Jesse.

Daisy nodded and walked forward, picking up the basket and reaching for his hand, squeezing it gently as they walked back to the house. "Of course I will Luke, I promise."

Bo rolled back onto his front and buried his face into the pillow again. Daisy sighed. "Luke he knows somethin' is goin' on.....don't ya think knowin' that and no one tellin' him the whole truth is gonna make his pressure go up anyway? I won't do that to him Luke, I won't."

Bo nodded, knowing that that would be oh so very true. Daisy gasped and shook her head, standing up pointing her finger at Luke. "Oh no you don't! I wont tell him how your feeling, that's up to you, but dont you dare ask me to keep that syringe a secret from him Lukas Duke. Bo is his SON as far as Jesse is concerned and he has a right to know what's going on with him Luke! I will not keep that from him, no way no how."

Bo nodded and looked away again. "Don't tell Uncle Jesse that though...." Daisy nodded and squeezed his shoulders. "I'm here anytime sugar...now come on we best get back 'afore Uncle Jesse starts to worry."

Bo bit his bottom lip and looked away "Yeah well....I dont have a lot of faith in him at the moment..." Daisy nodded and wrapped gentle arms round her older cousin. "You can't be strong all the time sugar....if you need help I'm always here and so is Bo most of the time....don't go through everythin' alone.....of course I'll come with ya, I promise."

Bo shook his head tirdley and sadly, tears pricking again. "I can't...I just can't....B.L the whole fight in the hospital was...I can't go through that again...it took so much outta me, that I don't even know i'll be able to get back...." Daisy felt a tear slip from her eye but quickly brushed it away, knowing she needed to be strong for Luke. "Do you want me to come with ya?"

Bo swallowed and sighed a little, there were so many things going on that he really didnt want to have to go through again, but he felt that she at least deserved to know a little what was happening. "It's just....I'm...I'm scared of being like this for the rest of my life....which is a possibility....I told Luke that I....well I just cant fight this no more...when it comes down to me livin' like this then....I ain't gonna try and change it....I dont have it in me no more...." Daisy gasped in shock. "You went to the place they held him captive? Oh gods Luke, was he alright with that? Why don't you run over to Doc's after supper?"

Bo smiled slightly, sighing. "Thanks B.L...." Daisy smiled and laughed slightly. "I ain't wise, just had years of listenin' to Uncle Jesse givin' you two lectures." She looked and gasped as Luke held up the syringe. "What in god's name was that doin' up at the old shack and how did Bo know that was there?"

"It didn't give me no excuse to yell at ya like I did....I know you's was only tryin' ta help...." He reached over and took B.L's hand in his. "Can ya forgive me?" Daisy sat in silence for a moment, trying to comprehend how Bo's high spirits had suddenly turned into such a depressing state. Giving up was just not like Bo at all, he was always the first one to leap headfirst into anything and everything without a shadow of a doubt that it would work. She could see why this sudden change would affect Luke so....heck it affected her a little bit too.... "Oh Luke....all you can do is be there for him.....keep supportin' him like you were today....I mean look at how happy you made him! I rekon he even forgot that he was sick just 'cause you was treatin' him like he everythin' was fine! The reason he's probably thinkin' like this is the kinda....sharp reminder that everythin' ain't exactly ok." She stopped for a moment, seeing Luke was working through everything she was saying, letting it sink in before she continued. "We all know that your the only one who can make Bo feel like that, feel like everythin' is just....well for lack of a better word sugar...perfect. You and him are so close that sometimes me and Uncle Jesse wonder if you's conjoined at the hip or somethin'.....you can help him Luke, better than any of us or any medicine can, just by treatin' him like ya did today, like an equal and yet look out fer him at the same time...."

Bo sighed softly and rolled onto his side, still wary about them seeing his back, not knowing they already knew. "I'm sorry 'bout earlier...I just....I was tired and upset is all..." Daisy sank down beside Luke and wrapped her arms round his shoulders, letting him lean into her, sensing he needed someone to support him for once. "Well a lot of things.....tell me what isn't..."

Bo sniffed gently into his pillow and shouted "Yeah sure...." As soon as they reached the barn, she let Luke move in first and then shut the door behind them, folding her arms and dropping the basket to the floor. "What's wrong Luke."

Bo's shoulders shook as the door closed although no sound came out because they, along with the floods of tears, all became buried in the pillow. Daisy shook her head and picked up the basket by the door. "Hey Luke....come help me get the eggs would ya....I just did my nails..."

Bo nodded, turning his head so it buried into his pillow, knowing the real reason why he was leaving him alone, seeing it in his cousin's face....he wasn't sure about all this either. Daisy noticed how the low mumbling had stopped, she had heard Bo's full name being used and looked over with raised eyebrows to Jesse and B.L

Bp squeezed his eyes shut, silent tears slipping out from his eyelashes. "I can't Luke....I cant fight that everyday of my life....I don't wanna get my hopes up and pretend like everythings alright to haveeverythin come crashin down again....I can't do it Luke I can't..."

Luke had done it again. Seen straight through everything Bo was telling him and finding the root of the problem. But this time, there was nothing Luke could say that would make Bo change his mind about how he was feeling. "Luke...I ain't...I can't....." He bites his lip and looks away, looking anywhere but at Luke. "I cna't fight no more Luke....I dont have anythin' left ta fight with. This has all just been....one bad thing after another....and....I dont wanna be disappointed no more....i cant stand it...."

Bo sighed and shrugged. "Luke it ain't nothin' really. It's just....a lot to get used to...you know...."

Bo chuckled, although it always sounded more like a giggle. "Luke it aint helpin; that you look like one."

Bo shook his head "S'nothin'..."

Bo winced slightly at the intense look Luke gave him, wishing now he hadnt said anything. One because he hated doctors in general and had no desire to go near another one for a very long time and also because he knew Luke would go to any lengths to make what he said reality and that scared him a little. He nodded gratefully though but continued to have a thoughtful look on his face

Bo nodded slightly "What we gonna do if....if I am gonna be like this permanantly Luke? I ain't gonna be much help to anyone no more..."