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Dear Nasty the Reindeer,

Please leave a lump of coal in everyone's stocking. Especially Roger's.

Thank you!

Santa leaves coal. I leave reindeer chips. They burn just as good, too.

Howevah! Roger's been kinda bad this year, so he gets a dishonorable mention. I have a can of Skoal, a 42-ounce beer, and an outdated Victoria's Secret catalog for his stocking.

*deposits the items in Roger's stocking* There! That'll jolly 'em up.

~Nasty~

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