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To Keep On Keepin' On


DaisyMaeDuke

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\"I know Luke...and you didn\'t hurt Bo, its his own fault really for not taking care of himself...but then again I can see why he couldn\'t sleep or anything. You can\'t help dealing with your greif the way you are, its how its happened and there\'s nothing we can do about the past....we just need to work on the future and getting you better...so things can...well get back to something that we can call normal...\"

She knew that it could never be the same as when Jesse was around, but maybe they could carry on a life for their Uncle that would make him proud from wherever he was watching them from.

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Luke sighed nodding a little. Daisy's soft words offered comfort and confirmed what he knew in his heart. Nonetheless, he felt that he should have been stronger, should have dealt with things better. He was thinking more clearly now, but the pain was still present. The feelings of loss still heavy on his heart. He had realized through conversation with Sara that, in reality, he wasn't just mourning the loss of Jesse. He was mourning for his parents, his friends he had lost in the war, the carefree childhood he should have experienced, mourning the innocence he had lost in the bloody war,and most of all, he mourned for the loss of himself. He really didn't know who he was...what his purpose was anymore. Without his uncle guiding him, he felt like a ship out in a boat without oars tossing about on a raging sea...he desperately needed to find an anchor.

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Daisy looked to Luke as he spoke, noticing something different in his eyes. For a long time, those eyes had expressed pain and surprisingly a loss of understanding. But now...there was something there...a kind of peace that showed that Luke was understanding something about himself...something he could focus on and try and do something about. That was when Luke was most at his settled, when he knew what the problem was and was trying to find a solution. It was what he excelled in....she was just surprised that finally after so many years...he had found the problem he had been searching for.

\"Sara...Sara\'s really helped you hasn\'t she...really...made you think...\"

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Luke nodded. "Yeah...she has...I mean...I guess...I knew the problem...I just...couldn't put a name to it...an..." *he bit his tongue trying to express himself in words, a thing he had always struggled with. "Til I named it...I...I couldn't start to fight it... I..it's not just one thing...it's a lot...an'...an' I can't...just get over it...wish I could...it's gonna take time...but...I feel like...I...I at least know the enemy now...you know?" he said. Words never came easy for him; he was a thinker not a speaker. Sara had helped him to see that all those years of pain bottled up was partially due to that- he had tried to keep everything inside...instead of speaking it out and dealing with it. Now he was trying to make a conscious effort to respond....even to the littlest things. It might not look like much to anyone else, but it was a milestone for Luke.

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Daisy smiled a little, recognising the big change and the effort Luke had taken to explain that. It was amazing how much change one person could make....and Sara although having worked with Luke for only a few days...boy was she changing things. Daisy had always thought that it would take that one special person to change Luke for the better after he came back from Nam...and Luke may not see it...but Daisy could definitly see a possible connection between the two.

\"Wow...she must be really good at what she does to get you this far in just a couple of days...your doing so well Luke...and yeah I understand what ya mean...its just unusual to hear it coming from you...\" She said with a small giggle.

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