BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "Don't you see yourself as a good person Luke?" She questioned softly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "No...not at all," answered Luke with finality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "Why's that?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "Done bad things...awful things," he said tears starting to form. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "What kind of bad things..." she kept pressing gently, needing to know all this so she could stat to see how he was thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "K-k-killin...people..." he said with a shudder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "What d'ya mean, killing people?" she asked with a gentle frown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 Luke was trembling by now, clenching and unclenching his hands in his lap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "You can tell me Luke I promise...I'm here t'help you, not t'judge...tell me what you can't tell anyone else...tell me what your afraid of, why your supposed to be seen as such a bad person...cause I dont see a bad person before me...I see a troubled and tortured young man who needs someone strange to pour his inner most hauntings out to...someone who doesn't know him so he doesn't have to worry about making an impression...I can do that...i'm here to listen..." She implored softly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 Luke swallowed hard. "I...I k-k-killed...m-my uncle..." he broke out. "H-he needed me...I...I failed him...j-just stood there...u-useless...k-k-killed in Nam...e-everyone...I...I ever cared about...d-died..." he swallowed hard. "S'better...I'm here...no...noone can...get close to me here...s-s-safer...fer 'em." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 Sara listened with sadness, shaking her head softly as she practically now felt Luke's guilt radiating from him, seeing there was more than one problem to fix."Now that ain't true....lets take this first things first....for starters I heard your Uncle passed on because his heart gave out..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "W-was in...a field...I...I froze...I...I couldn't think...B-bo...had t get him help..." he stuttered in pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "So you froze in shock and fear of what was happening...that's not an uncommen response...and besides, if you hadn't have froze the result still would have been the same from what I saw on his notes...the help wouldn't have arrived any quicker if you'd gone to get it...your Uncle's heart wouldn't have magically repaired itself...would it now?"She questioned softly, trying to make him think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "I dunno anymore...I...all I know...is he counted on me...Bo counted on me...I let em down..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 Sara shook her head softly."No...No you didn't...he may have counted on you but i'll bet even he and Bo knew it wouldn't have made a difference even if you had moved...Luke think about it...please...what difference would it have made if you had moved...not including the fact you wouldn't be feeling like you are now..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "I dunno...I dunno..." he persisted, tears running down his cheeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "Yes you do...you do...just stop thinking about what you have been for just a minute and think instead of what really could have happened if you had moved...feasibly...if you can think of something that would have drastically changed the outcome...tell me..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 Luke shook his head. He knew nothing would have changed...but he couldn't help his feelings. He was hurt...deeply hurt. He sniffed running a hand through his hair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "No...nothing would have. Throught your Uncle's life i'm sure you helped him, looked after him....made him the happiest man alive having you as a part of his life. You may not have done what your cousin did in the feild that day...but you never failed your Uncle in making every single day special because you were with him....and i'm sure if he could now he'd tell you that over and over..."She spoke with a soft tenderness, trying to make Luke think a bit clearer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 Tears dripped down his cheeks but he merely nodded. He knew his uncle would have talked himself blue in the face. It just hurt so so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "So...if it wasn't your fault, which we have determined by deduction it wasn't...what's the real reason your so upset?"She had probably already gathered what it was - she wasn't a psychiatrist for nothing - but Luke had to admit it himself for him to realize what it was he needed to tackle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "I...I just...everyone...I love...I...I..." he didn't go on unable to put into words what he was feeling. "I can't explain..." he admitted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 Sara nodded a little, reaching for her clipboard and writing some things down before replacing it back on the cabinet beside the bed."Well lets see if we cant work it out...maybe the reason your so upset has something t'do with your parents...and the fact that your Uncle was a surrogat parent for you...maybe because you couldn't do anything to save your parents...sub conciously you feel guilty for letting the same fate happen to your Uncle...even though there was nothing you could have done in either scenario...you believe that everyone's deaths are the result of some sort of neglegence on your part..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMaeDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 Luke's answer was to wrap his arms around his stomach. He supposed what she said could be true. At the same time though, it sounded like too simple of a reason... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJamesDuke Posted August 23, 2008 Report Share Posted August 23, 2008 "Sometimes...the most extreme emotions are triggered by something so simple that has simply snapped the ropes holding the load of emotional baggage you've been carrying around...and then can lead to deeper things. Right now i'm starting to sense that because of this sense of negligence that you can't figure out...you feel like you've lost control of your life...people dying all throughout your life has made you mroe aware than most people about how out of control of our own lives we really are...and it scares you doesn't it...because your a man that likes to be in control...which is why you feel so guilty you weren't when your Uncle collapsed and you froze...you see how it all continues in one big emotional loop?"She explained gently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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