Season One Quotes

[DixieRose_00]

These are my favorite quotes from Season One of the Dukes!! If y'all have any to add feel free to do so if your favorite season one quotes ain't on here..

One Armed Bandits

Bo: Grab that sign.

Luke: You grab it!

Bo: Well, I can't!! I'm driving!!

Luke: Oh is that what you call it?

Luke: (showing Bo poster with Rosco's picture on it) Collecting these!

Bo: What for?

Luke: Lining the Rabbit cage...face up!!

Luke: Burt Reynold's never seemed to get lost

Bo: But he's got a mustache

Bo: Now I live here. I choose this life. Not because I don't know no better, but because I beleive it is better, and I'm gonna fight anything or anybody that pollutes the well where I drink. Saving this orphanage is just part of it.

Daisy's Song

Daisy: You know what? Y'all are about as handy as a left handed anvil. While I'm up there gettin' attacked by this lecherous midget, you two are orgying all over that pool.

Bo: Did he go for it?

Luke: Did he take the bait?

Daisy: He's gonna make me queen of the pirates..

Bo: Fantastic.

Daisy: And thanks for asking about my virtue. Which you didn't! Being intact. Which it is.

Luke: Do you understand that?

Bo: No.

Balladeer:Everybody was following everybody and nobody knew anybody.

Enos: Oh sheriff. I just love a good raid.

Mary Kaye's Baby

Bo: How'd he know it was us if it ain't even our car?

Luke: I bet your dazzlin' drivin' gave us away!! And if you don't step on it he's gonna give us a ticket for illegal parking!!

Bo: I'd give a whole nickel to find out why they're chasing us!

Luke: Well, there's Enos!! You can ask him!!

Bo: Well all right!!

Luke: I was kiddin'!!

Bo: Well I was gonna let you take that bow over there and shoot his tires out, but you'd probably miss and hit ours!!

Luke: Y'all better get outta the way!! There's fixin' to be one heck of an explosion!!

Repo Men

Luke: If something can go wrong you can be double dang sure it will!! That's Murphy's Law!!

Bo: This guy Murphy! Was he a racecar driver?

Luke: He must be. Everybody talks about him!!

Bo: You know Luke! I think that made them mad!!

Bo: Hang loose.

Luke: If I was hanging any looser, I'd be hanging off the seat!!

Bo: Sure hope you like scrambled eggs.

Luke: What has that got to do with this?

Bo: Where there's chickens there's eggs (drivin' through a barn). That sure was a funny place to put a barn!!

Luke: Try that fool stunt again and I'll find a funnier place to put one!!

Cooter: What do you think ole Burt Reynold's would be doin' at a time like this?

Luke: Well I ain't sure. But I know he'd be doing it with someone a lot prettier then you!!

Cooter: Hey Luke!!

Luke: Yeah?

Cooter: If you can't make this thing go any faster than this, do you mind if I just jump out and run ahead?

Luke: Funny!!

High Octane

Bo: You think we ought to give her mouth to mouth recreation?

Luke: You mean rescuitation?

Bo: Oh maybe, but I bet I'm a whole lot closer to the truth then you are!!

Luke: Hey it looks like Boss and Rosco in disguise!!

Bo: Hey! You reckon they can swim?

Luke: Y'all can come down off that wall now!! it's just water!!

Swamp Molly

Balladeer: Look at that? Ole Sheriff Rosco sure knows how to crawl!! Don't he?

Rosco: This is Red Dog... (loses his balance and falls down a bank, landing in the water)

Balladeer: Well ain't nobody perfect!!

Daisy: I think it's awful risky driving that truck. I think you oughta let me do it!!

Luke: Uncle Jesse would never allow it!!

Balladeer: Like they always say. The family that plays together, stays together.

Enos: You got some double peanut dooley? (recognizes Luke) Tweedledum, you're under arrest now!!

Enos: Tweedledum is running peanut dooley's in that naked baby ice cream truck.

Rosco: Blue Fox this is Red Dog. I'm under attack!!

Rosco: (to Boss) If we crash I'll put your body between us and make an airbag!!

Luke's Love Story

Rosco: Will you get that messy piece of junk outta here before it starts dripping oil all over the place?

Cooter: Don't worry about it Rosco. It's housebroke.

Rosco: Enos! Why don't you go watch Daisy and lust in your heart?

Enos: All right Sheriff!! But I was trying to taper off!!

The Big Heist

Bo: Hey Luke! Why didn't you stop for me?

Luke: Ask the dude with the gun!!

Rosco: You know this is the first time I ever fished this creek and caught anything?

Balladeer: Now ain't that some kind if luck? If it had been a month sooner ol' Rosco woulda had to throw em back.

Boy: I'll shoot if you don't put up your hands.

Luke: Attaboy partner. Keep em covered. You got that money hid in a safe place where nobody'll find it?

Boy: Yeah. I put it where nobody'll find it!!

Rosco: You..You...

Luke: Don't turn around Rosco!! He means it!!

Rosco: You mean to tell me that little brat's got a pistol?

Luke: Now don't rile em Rosco. Now he means buisness!!

Rosco: Now that's just like you Duke boy's!! Leading a little boy into a life of crime!! Does your Uncle Jesse know about this?

Bo: He ain't a little boy Rosco!!

Rosco: Ain't?

Bo: No! He's a midget!!

Rosco: Midget?

Bo: And boy is he ever mean!!

Rosco: Mean?

Bo: Mean!!!

Luke: We'll meet you at the hideout for the split...three ways!!

Boy: Right!

Rosco: I swear Enos. If I catch you I'm gonna tie you up an' hang you on the wall like a side of beef.

Boss: You'd think at a police station you'd find at least one cop hangin' around!!

Rosco: How'd they do that? I could do that if I didn't wanna scuff my hubcaps.

Rosco: You oughtn't have parked there in the first place. I'll give him a 603. Probably a drunk parker.

Rosco: What are you doin' up there on my hood? Bet that smarted, didn't it? You look like a little fat hood ornament!!

Limo One Is Missing

Luke: You know why you got those hiccups?

Bo: Why?

Luke: Cause you scarf food like tomorrow was the first day of a six month famine. That's why!!

Bo: Cute!!

Luke: Now what are you doing Bo?

Bo: Well I don't know, but everything's working so far!!

Bo: There wasn't much more than a gallon in that can.

Luke: In a one gallon can? No kiddin'

Bo: I can't believe I said that!!

Bo: You know somethin'? I think Rosco done scared away my hiccups!!

Rosco: You dumb dipstick!! What are you trying to do? Give me bodily injury?

Rosco: Hush. Hush. Don't talk back to me while I'm yelling at you!!

Boss: You Dukes!! You low down danged dirty Dukes!!!

Deptuty Dukes

Luke: Well I shoulda known better!! Rosco can't hardly go night night without Boss burps him!!

Enos: Possum on a gumbush. Them boys escaped convicts impersonating police officers.

Bo: Luke! I sure hope you got a pilot's license!!

Bo: Ain't no way Marlowe!! We're country boys!! We barter our way through life!!

Jesse: You...You dressed up marshmallow you!!!

Bo: Well I ain't perfect...just pretty!!!

Bo: I just love it when people get outta the way for me!!

Rosco: Enos! Will you hush? They've been wrong so many times they know their rights!!

Daisy: I'm drivin' Mary Beth back to Springville!!!

Luke: I guess we can go Boar hunting!!

Bo: YAA-HOO!!!!!

Daisy: That's Bo talk for You Bet!!!

Money to Burn

Rosco: Oh! Oh! I'm sorry Miss Daisy! I thought you were that no account Bo Duke!!

Daisy:Well if you can't tell the difference between me and Bo, either you're losing your eyesight or I'm losing my figure!!

Enos: Shoot Daisy!! You ain't losing nothin'!! I got 20-20, 20-20, 20-20 vision!! Ain't I Sheriff?

Rosco: Hey Enos!!

Enos: Sir?

Rosco: Hush!!

Enos: Yes Sir!!

Rosco: Just hush!!

Rosco: Boss! How high you want me to stack these bills?

Boss: How high? Well how high are those gallon jugs we use to run shine in?

Rosco: (measuring with his hands) Oh aboth this high!!

Boss: Then that's how high we can go under the false bottom. Jackass!!

Rosco: That's Sheriff Jackass!!

Rosco: You mean to tell me I don't get to arrest nobody?

Bo: Nope!!!

Rosco: Somedays it don't even pay to get outta bed!!

Route 7-11

Daisy: Luke's got that look in his eye again!!

Bo: And right after he gets that look he goes (snaps his finger) I got it!! Let's go Bo!! And I get in trouble!!

Luke: (snaps finger) I got it! Let's go Bo!!

Bo: See what I mean?

Bo: Oh, as long as it's simple. For a minute there I thought we were gonna have to do somethin' illegal.

Rosco: Enos! How did you beat me here?

Enos: Huh?

Rosco: Will you stop makin' those dumb sounds and talk regular English?

Enos: Uh-huh!!

Jesse: Looks like I've been shucked and jived into some shuckin'...

Bo: And Jivin'!!

Luke: Climb on it Cooter!! We only got a few minutes!!

Cooter: Right!! Give or take a few minutes!!

Luke: Well there you are Rosco. I'm as clean as you and Boss are dirty!! But you can look in the glove compartment if you want!!

Rosco: You criminally attack my car!!

Boss: Rosco!! How dare you leave you car where I'm going!!!

Double Sting

Luke: Well that's showin' em Bo!!

Bo: You know! I knew you were gonna say that!!

Rosco: Enos!! They'll be out on bail before you finish with that! Now just get em outta here!!

Boss: Rosco! I got claustophobia!!

Enos: Is that catchin' Sheriff?

Luke: All hope abandon ye who enter here!! Where'd you get that piece of sunshine Rosco?

Stanley: Maybe we oughta sink the RV before something else crawls outta there!!!

That's all I got for Season One!! Stick around for Season 2 quotes comin' soon!!!

[DukesFan24]

Season one had the best quotes.

[MaryAnne]

All those quotes are great! This one tho' gets me every time...

>Rosco: You oughtn't have parked there in the first place. I'll give him a >603. Probably a drunk parker.

Drunk parker??? BAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[TRPColtrane95]

well I like all season one, and I love when luke tried to grab caution sign... like while bo talk to luke... before grab picture

little focus but said "Caution Open Ditch"

this one... and also my favorite

Limo is missing... too.. is best.. list one my favorite about BO's Hiccups and cooter drove in limo...

Luke: Bo still tring to get rid of his hiccup? 1:45...

Cooter: looks good in blue don't he?

Luke: I still pay what you need is a good scare.

Bo: well how do you think I got the hiccup in the first place?

Bo: Whoa! [hiccuping] how that is some kind of-- kind of auto mobline huh?

Cooter: That there's the big boss' car ain't it?

Cooter: you're the pretty thing I 've seen , big mama you mind if I just s-s-sit it on the lap for a min?

{mimicking engine sound}

Bo: {hiccup}

Luke: you know why you got them Hiccup?

BO: why?

Luke: because you scarf food like tomorrow was the first day of a 6 month famine that why.

Bo: Cute..

BO: Hiccup

Bo: I think they're thinkin what we're thinkin

Luke: you think so?

BO: you tknow they really fly nice...

Luke: yeah let hope they swim pretty good too

Rosco: Boss

Boss: Rosco, don't you ever bust in here again without knocking, you dang near made me cut off my countin thumb.

Rosco: oh Listen I sorry about that aint this a really important...

Rosco: you dumb dipstick...

this one quote funny cute... about BO's hiccup and cooter ride...

lol

[buickman69]

SEASON 1, 1st five 5 in GA

Boss: "Rosco, you better get creative, OR. YOU. WILL BE...."

Rosco: "The night watchmen @ the drive-in delli on Frontage Rd"!

[traintownofcowee]

On One Armed Bandits, "Rosco, I've over paid any debt I ever had to you, cuz I married your fat sister!

[Bill-Duke]

One Armed Bandits

Boss to Uncle Jesse: The hot damn royals!

Boss to Rosco: ...And I get the shine!

Waylon: Explaining ANYTHING to Rosco is NEVER easy, but this time the Boss seems to be gettin' through.

Rosco to the new woman revenuer: They're guilty....You know, nobody's innocent....I'm as country as a bowl of grits and I can't be trusted.

Uncle Jesse: Can we try this engine being that that one over there(pointing to the one Boss tried) is full of water?

Uncle Jesse: All right Rosco, put it back(the car) just the way you found it or I'm suing the county!!

The first episode had so many good quotes.