A year ago last thursday, I was strolling in the zoo

When I met a man who thought he knew the lot

He was laying down the law about the habbits of baboons

And the number of quills a porcupine has got

So I asked him "What's that creature's name?" and he answered "That's a helk!"

And I'd have gone on thinking that was true

If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,

And remarked—"I ain't a helk—I'm a gnu!

I'm a gnu—I'm a gnu

The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo

I'm a gnu—how do you do?

You really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who

I'm a gnu—spelt G - N - U

I'm not a camel or a kangaroo

So let me introduce, I'm neither man nor moose

Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!"

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-sea

Whence I travelled on to Aston-under-lyne

On the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream

Which I'll tell you all about some other time

Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed

Stuffed and mounted was a face I thought I knew

A bison? An oakpi? Could it be a hearty beast?

Then I seem to hear a voice—"I'm a gnu!

I'm a gnu—a-g-nother gnu

I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you

I'm a gnu—how do you do?

You really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who

I'm a gnu—spelt G - N - U

Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue

Nor am I in the least like that dreadful hearty beast

Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!

G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!

G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!"

(Flanders and Swann)

Errr.....