My Grandfather died........ (this is extremely long)

[DukesFan24]

Last Friday he was moving rugs for my grandma, which he wasn't supposed to and he just sat down on the floor, and hurt his butt. So Sunday night, he kept saying that he wanted to go to the ER, so luckily when my grandma called the hospital his doctor was there and said to take him Mon. afternoon. The next morning my grandma got him up and they ate breakfast, everything was fine. Then he told her that he was hot, which he was always cold. She got him a new shirt and helped him dress. then she was reading the newspaper and talking to him and he didn't say anything, she looked and he was gone. He had a heart attack.

I feel like May 16th, has always a bad luck for my family. May 16th 1993, my parents split up. May 16th 2001, my brother breaks his leg. May 16th 2005, my grandfather died.

My dad lives with them and when I went over Monday afternoon, my dad was standing outside talking to my cousins and he started to cry. When I seen him, i lost it. After a few minutes I got myself under control and i walked with him inside the house, which you basically walk into the kitchen. I saw my grandmother sitting at my grandfather's place at the table, and i lost it then too. My aunt, who i am very close too, took me into my dad's room to get me calmed down. I did get calmed down and i was fine. I wanted to shouted at my other aunt to get out of his chair. (He wouldn't let anyone sit in his chair, unless you were really sick.) BUt i didn't do anything.

Tuesday, the family was supposed to go to the funeral home to see his body for the first time, but they were going after lunch. (Keep in mind, this is the closest death, i have experiersed and i have never walked up to a coffin inches before or never touched them. I am the youngest grandchild) My mom decided to take me there just so i can used to them and i knew that i would be okay, but she took me anyway. I walked in there and i looked and i wanted to leave within one minute. I didn't cry or nothing.

I stood in line that night at the viewing right inbetween my cousin Danny (who everyone thought I was married too) and my brother. I was fine, but when people hugged me and said "I'm sorry", I got teary eyed. When we got ready to leave, all the grandchild went up and said Goodbye to him. But i didn't. I dont know why, but i was biting the inside of my cheek to keep from bawling like a baby.

When my family and i got to the church the next day for the funeral, they opened the coffin again. One last time. And i grabbed my mother's hand and walked up there. My cousin was touching his hands and saying Goodbye, and i lost it. I couldn't move. I was about maybe 2 feet away from the coffin and I told her "I cant go any futher" She walked with me over to the chairs, and my dad held me in his arms and I cried. My cousin Danny rubbed my back, and for the first time in 24 years, I realized he does care about me.

My mom took me away and into the place where we were going to eat lunch after the funeral. I got myself together and I was fine. My dad came and got us and told us that my family was in one of the classrooms.

While we were waiting, i went to the bathroom. When i came out, my cousin Danny was right waiting and I had my mom and my other cousin Kim say "Stop" I stoped and the next thing I know was my cousin Kim pulling at my skirt. My skirt was tucked in my underwear, so that was a good laugh, luckily my cousin Danny didn't see anything.

I held my mom's during the entire funeral service. I was fine. I was thinking good thoughts (Kasey Kahne winning his first race) The choir sung 'How Great thou Are' and i was fine. The preacher said the one thing that made me start crying. He said "65 years ago, Parks (my grandfather) said to Dot (my grandmother) 'I'll love ya until the day i die' and I lost it. Then the choir sung 'Amazing Grace' and the prayer. I was fine.

When they carried the coffin out (which was all the grandsons) I lost it then. As we were walking out, I saw my grandmother and aunt (on my mom's side who i am extremely close too) My mother pushed me toward them and i bawled like a baby. My grandmother and aunt held me in there arms, and let me cry. I needed it. I didn;t want to go to the burial and i didn't.

My grandfather and i were never that close and i only saw him once a year. Now i regret it. I wish i spent more time with him. I know i have had 24 great years, but i wished i had more.

My grandfather was an avid Atlanta Braves fan and last night I watched the game for the first time. I cried all the way through it.

I'm taking this alot harder than i thought i would. So please pray for me.

Sorry it was so long, but I thought i would share it.

Susan

[JBama01]

Susan,

You have my prayers. It's not easy losing a loved one.

I lost my father in January of 2003. My life hasn't been the same since.

But you know what, I think of him every day and that's what keeps me going.

He's still with me in my heart.

I'll always treasure the fact that I was able to tell him that I loved him just hours before he passed.

God bless you...

Jeff

JBAMA01

[Julieduke]

I remember when my Grandfather died on my 22nd birthday and the one thing I do remember is that he had kept a picture I had tooken at the mall for him with until he died. The one song that had me crying is the one that John Michael Montgerary wrote about his father. At time it still does like the song my grandfather had his one special recliner as well, but I was the second youngest Grandchild and youngest Granddaughter I was born almost three years after my Grandmother was born on July 15, 1975 and came hone from the hospital on his sixty-eighth birthday and he died on my 22nd birthday. What a connection to have with your Grandmother oh by the way my Grandpa was born July 22, 1907.

[Brian Coltrane]

Susan,

My heartfelt sympathies to both you and your family.

Don't be too harsh on yourself about not seeing your grandfather more. You didn't expect to lose him....and I'm sure he didn't expect to be called away that suddenly, either. It's nobody's fault.

It was sweet of you to honor your grandfather by watching the baseball game. There is something else you can do, too. Show your grandmother some extra love and attention....your grandfather's passing is going to be hardest on her. And in spending more time with your grandmother, or calling her more often, or sending more letters - you will be honoring your grandfather's memory.

Grief is something hard to deal with...because it's the force of love we feel for someone, combined with the sorrow of losing them. I'm no counselor or anything. But one way I've gotten through strong grief is by concentrating on the people I love.

Take care and God bless,

Brian

[DukesFan24]

THanks so much.

I did call my grandmother last night and she was okay.

I did get more sleep last night, but its raining today and my dad will be off from work. He'll be here at my house and I dread it. But i will have to face him sooner or later.

Susan

[Capt_Redneck]

Susan

My deepest sympathies and prayers go out to you and your family.

I lost my father May 15 , 1988. I was 17 at the time and my father was everything to me since he basically rasied me alone. My mother had passed away when I was 10. My father was older than most , he was 55 when he had me and was 73 when he passed away.

I wasn't the easiest teenager back then. I had my friends and my music which were so much more important. We didn't see eye to eye on most things, but he was always there for me. He did everything for me from driving me and my friends everywhere to standing inline for concert tickets to giving me the trust and freedom he thought I deserved.

When that day happened , I lost it . BIG TIME . My father was my life. I can tell numerous stories about all the little things he did for me with even thinking about it. I wish I could say the same.

At the wake in the funeral home , I was OK . My friends and family were there. The best part was my neighbor who told everyone that "Losing Jerry was like losing the Mayor" , that made everything for me. When it came to the burial , I lost it .

I swear there isn't a day that goes by in the past 17 years that I don't think about . Or think about what I could have done different or really listened to him . There is so much little things like a movie scene or a song or a picture that I remember the exact moment of both of us together.

What I wouldn't give for just a day or two to tell him how much I miss him and love him.

I'm sorry for the rambling on my part. It just brought back a flood of memories to me.

Susan, you will get through this. You have many friends both at home and on here. If you ever need to talk please don't hesitate to get a hold of me. I send all my prayers to you to help you get through this.

Darrell

[essyjane]

(((((Susan)))))

[JESSI DUKE]

Susan,

Are hearts and prayers go out to you in your time of need. It's not easy losing somone you love even when your not close to them. But just remember all the good times you had with your grandfather. Reading your post made me remember my grandfather's death a year ago. And how hard it was for me . I remember the first time i saw my grandpa laying their. I bawled so hard. It was one of the hardest thing i had to do saying goodbye. I kept remember all the good times we had. It hard to lose someone you love. But it will get easiers as the days go by. Just know that you may not have been that close to your grandfather, but he loved you very much. Take care Susan. Know that we are here if you need a friend.

Jessi