Duke Boys in Las Vegas and Meet the CSI - part 1

[tanya71]

CSI characters

Sara Sidel

Gil Grissom

James Brass

Nick “Poncho†Stokes

Warrick Brown

Catherine Willows

One day Bo and Luke decided that they were going to go to Las Vegas with the NASCAR teams and race on a hopefully sunny Sunday afternoon race. As soon as the Duke boys made it over the Nevada border, Bo saw a guy lying on the ground.

Bo: Hey Luke, pull over for a moment.

Luke: What for?

Bo: I saw a man back there that didn’t look alright.

Luke: Okay.

Luke pulls over & they both walk over to the man and found out that the man was dead. Bo told someone to call 9-1-1. The cops, ambulance and the CSI team show up at the scene.

Grissom: What do we have?

Brass: Those two found him in the alley.

Grissom walks over to two guys that found the dead guy.

Grissom: What happened?

Luke: My cousin and I were just going to a race in Las Vegas when my cousin spotted him.

Grissom: You’re not from here, are you?

Luke: No, we’re from Hazzard County in Georgia.

Grissom: What are your names? I know the cops took your information, but I just like to know.

Luke: I’m Luke Duke and that’s my cousin Bo Duke.

Gil Grissom walked over toward Bo and asked him a couple of questions.

Grissom: Do you know what happened?

Bo: N. . . No, I don’t. I just saw that guy lying there, at first I thought he was a drunkard. But then again, I thought he might’ve been hurt, so I told my cousin to pull over. I...I’m sorry, I . . . I’m just in shock. I’ve never seen a dead body before.

Grissom: It’s okay, just breathe. I’ll need to talk to you and your cousin later. Is there a phone number where you can be reached?

Bo: My cousin has the number.

Luke walks over to comfort his young cousin.

Luke: Are you okay, cousin?

Bo: Y. . . yeah, I’ll be fine.

Grissom: I need a number to reach you just in case I have any more questions.

Luke: Okay. The number is 555-4646 {note to readers: not a real phone number}.

Grissom walked back to officer Brass to give a report.

Brass: So, what did happen?

Grissom: Nothing much, just that the two cousins from Georgia were going to a race in Las Vegas and Bo, the blonde-haired guy saw the John-Doe lying there thinking he was either drunk or seriously hurt. It was their first time looking at a dead body. Let’s take him back to the lab and find out the C.O.D. (Cause of Death).

Brass: Call me if you find out anything.

Bo and Luke drive all the way to the track still shaking slightly from their first sight of a dead guy.

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Hey guys, what took you so long?

Bo: (still shaking) It’s complicated.

Luke: We were on the way here, when Bo just saw a guy sitting on the sidewalk, so we pulled over to check on him.

Bo: When we got there, he was already dead.

Dale Jr.: Oh God.

Mark Martin: Who’s dead?

Luke: A man that Bo and I found downtown.

NASCAR official: Are you two boys racing?

Luke: Yeah, we’ll be right there.

Bo and Luke went into the garage area with the General to get it ready for the big race in Nevada. Bo qualified and made the pole for the race.

Jeff Gordon: Hey, Bo, don’t get in my way. I don’t want to ruin that nice paint-job.

Bo: Is that a threat, Jeff?

Jeff Gordon: No, it’s a promise. (Smiles and winks)

Michael Waltrip: Leave the Dukes alone, Jeff.

Luke: Leave it on the track, Jeff.

Jeff Gordon: (pretends to be scared) I’m scared, Luke. Shaking in my uniform. (Laughs)

Luke: (Laughs) Cute.

Bill Elliott: Come on, guys, let’s not argue here and now. Wait for after the race.

Bo: Bill’s right, we got a race to win. Luke, we need to check out the General and get him ready for the race.

Luke: Okay, let’s get busy.

Mark Martin: Need to borrow anything, guys?

Bo: We’re fine, thanks, Mark.

Mark Martin: This will be my last season racing, so if you need a manager or anything, let me know.

Luke: You’re on our list, Mark. (Winks at Mark Martin)

Mark Martin: You got it. See ya at the finish line.

Bo: Last thing you’ll be seeing is our tailpipe. (Laughs)

While the racers were preparing their cars for the race, one of the Crime Scene Investigators came over to the Dukeboys to ask them a few more questions about the dead guy they saw earlier.

Sara Sidel: I want to talk to a Bo and Luke Duke.

Luke: I’m Luke Duke.

Sara Sidel: I’m Sara Sidel and my boss Gil Grissom told me that you saw the dead guy.

Luke: That would be my cousin, but he’s at the driver’s meeting right now.

Sara Sidel: I understand that your cousin saw this guy just sitting next to the wall at a convenient store.

Luke: Yes, he did. He thought that the guy didn’t look good, so he asked me to stop the car and check out the guy. We got out and I checked the guy’s pulse and was in shocked to find out the guy was dead. I looked at my cousin with the shocked look and he just yelled to call 911.

Sara Sidel: Ok, I’ll talk to your cousin later.

Luke: Are you staying for the race? (Sara’s beeper goes off)

Sara Sidel: Love to, but I have to go find out the cause of that guy’s death. Let me know who wins.

Luke: I can tell you right now, it’s gonna be my cousin, Bo.

Sara Sidel: I’d probably say that you’re right. I have seen both of you race a few times.

Luke: When do you have time off? I’ll ask the Nascar president to save you some seats for you and your friends.

Sara Sidel: Thank you, Mr. Duke.

Luke: The name’s Luke.

Sara Sidel: Nice to meet you, Luke. My name’s Sara. Sara Sidel.

Luke: Well, Miss Sidel, it is a pleasure to meet you too.

Sara Sidel: I’d like to meet your cousin, Bo when he gets out of the meeting.

Bo: Did someone say my name?

Luke: Hey, cousin. This is Miss Sara Sidel.

Bo: Almost sounds like suicidal.

Luke: Bo, behave yourself.

Sara Sidel: That’s alright, I’ve been teased a lot when I was younger. Do you remember what else you would know about the man that you found?

Bo: Not really. I did see that the wallet was next to him, and it looked like he did have a watch on, but I saw a tan line where it would’ve been.

Sara Sidel: You’d make a good CSI agent.

Bo: Thanks, but racing is gonna be my main hobby.

Luke: I might be thinking of either racing or maybe a firefighter.

Bo: I will need a co-pilot or a mechanic.

Luke: I know, but like I said, I’m not sure what I want to be.

Sara Sidel: Thanks for the answers to my questions, fellas. I have to get back.

Bo: Maybe we’ll see you sometime in Hazzard County, in Georgia.

Sara Sidel: You might see one of my co-workers there, by the name of Warrick Brown. He can’t quite stop betting on things like different sports. Football, Baseball or whatever sports happen to be on the television.

Luke: Thankfully, we aren’t allowed to do any betting or gambling.

Bo: I think we’re needed at the track, Lukas.

Luke: That’s right. Will you be here later?

Sara Sidel: I might be. Just have to clear it with my boss, Grissom.

Bo: Okay.

Bo made it to the track and he had started last because he was using a back-up. But Bo won’t stay there much longer as soon as the Green Flag waved. Luke was in the pits guiding Bo, and letting him know whether or not Bo needed new tires or if there was trouble.

Luke: How does it feel, cousin?

Bo: (helmet CB) Feels good, cousin.

Luke: That’s good. I’ll be right back, I gotta give Uncle Jesse and Daisy a call.

Bo: Okay, tell them that I love them. I love you too, Luke.

Luke: Love you too, Bo. Will do.

While Bo was doing well during the race, Luke went to find a phone to call his uncle and cousin back home in Hazzard County. While Uncle Jesse was getting lunch made for him and Daisy, the phone rang and Daisy answered it.

Daisy: Duke’s farm, Daisy speaking.

Luke: Hey, Daisy.

Daisy: Hey, Luke. How are you? How’s Bo doing?

Luke: He’s doing good, as a matter of fact, he’s racing right now.

Daisy: He is? What channel is the race on?

Luke: Hang on, let me find out. (Removes the phone from his ear.) What channel is this race on?

Stranger: It’s on the FOX channel.

Luke: Thanks. (Back on the phone) FOX channel 13.

Daisy: Okay. Channel 13, Uncle Jesse. Bo’s racing.

Jesse: (overheard) Okay. Let me speak to Luke.

Daisy: Hang on, Luke.

Luke: Okay.

Jesse: Hey, Luke.

Luke: Hey, Uncle Jesse. How are you doing? Did you call Coy and Vance?

Jesse: Yeah, they’re here now doing some chores.

Vance: Daisy, Uncle Jesse, we’re done.

Luke: Let me talk to him.

Jesse: Vance, telephone.

Vance: Who is it?

Jesse: Your cousin, Luke.

Vance: (takes phone from Uncle Jesse) Lukas!

Luke: Hey, cousin. What’s going on?

Vance: Not much. Where are you guys?

Luke: Las Vegas.

Vance: Is Bo there with you?

Luke: He should be on TV right about now.

Vance: On TV?

Luke: He’s racing right now. I got to get back. I hear some cars coming into the pit.

Vance: Take it easy now.

Luke: You too. Tell Coy sorry that I couldn’t stay on the phone longer, but I think Bo needs me now.

Vance: Will do. See ya soon, I hope.

Luke: You will. Bye.

Luke just made it back to the pits and asked what just happened. Found out it was the Target Car that caused the yellow flag. The pit roads are closed. Pit road is open and in comes Bo Duke.

Bo: I’m a little loose fellas, and I need two tires on the right.

Luke: How ya doing?

Bo: Alright, just need a little tightening. I was getting too close to the wall at turn 2.

Luke: Okay, how’s the engine holding out?

Bo: Good, just need to get the timing fixed.

Luke: Don’t worry about it for now. We’ll fix that in the garage area, later.

Official: You’re clear.

Luke: Go, go, go!

Bo tears out of his pit stall and gets back onto the track and tries to get to the front of the pack. Mark Martin is now leading and Bo gets right behind the 4th place driver of Matt Kenseth. Bo is down two laps and is working his way up.

Bo: Luke, I’m gonna need another one of those drinks.

Luke: Ok. Just wait until you need to pit next time. Don’t come in yet.

Bo: I can do that. Hey, did you talk to Uncle Jesse?

Luke: Yeah, I even talked to Vance. He and Coy are both there taking care of the farm while we’re here.

Bo: How are they doing?

Luke: They are doing well. Vance didn’t know that the race was on. I told them that you should be on the TV soon. I did set the VCR before we left home. Hope I get the whole thing.

Bo: I’m sure you will. Besides, I’d want to find out how it all came out.

Spotter for Bo: He’s high, he’s still there, still there, clear.

Bo: 10-4.

Spotter2 for Bo: He’s low, . . . still there . . . still there, clear.

Luke: Don’t keep saying 10-4 to the spotters, Bo.

Bo: 10-4, Lukas.

Spotter3 for Bo: Watch it, he’s coming to your right side. Still there . . . still there . . . clear.

This kept on going until the next Yellow flag. (to all the readers: the number 01 car who is not driven by Bo Duke, you'll just have to pretend it is him, since the General Lee has the same numbers and it's sponsored by ARMY. The 01 car is driven by Joe Nemechek.) Bo just spun out.

Luke: Bo, are you alright?

Bo: Yeah, I just lost it by accident. Sorry about that.

Luke: Don’t worry about it. It had happened to me last time, when you were sick and I took over for you.

Bo: I know. Thanks again for taking over for me last week.

Luke: Come on, Bo, get out of 26th will ya?

Bo: It’s not that easy to do when you got other cars in the way. Do you want to drive, Lukas?

Luke: No thanks. I just want you to get up there. I’m sure the whole family is watching and want you up front.

Spotter1 for Bo: There is 2 cars close to you . . . still there . . . still there . . . clear.

Bo: I hate being 3 wide.

Spotter2 for Bo: Watch it, you’re getting close to turn 3 don’t go 3 wide again.

Luke: He’s right, be careful.

Bo: I’m coming in. I want 4 tires and a little tighter guys. Luke, I need some advice from you later. I could tell you, but I don’t want to be embarrassed about it.

Luke: I understand. I want to talk to you too. How’s the temperature in the car?

Bo: Let’s just say I’d rather be at the beach right now. It is hot in here.

Luke: I bet it is. Get out there. Green, green, green! Go Bo!

Bo: I’m going. (Laughs)

Team Boss: There’s no time for joking, fellas. Save it for after the race.

Luke: You got it, boss.

Team Boss: We’re racing at Atlanta next week, so there’s no time playing here during the race. Bo, you be careful and Luke, I need to see you in the office right now.

Bo: What did Luke do?

Luke: Probably nothing. Just keep your eyes on the road and the other opponents ahead of you.

While there were 98 laps to go, Luke went into the boss’s office to find out what’s going on.

Team Boss: Luke, I understand that both you and Bo are very close, and when I heard the last transmission you made to Bo, it seems that you’re gonna be acting more than cousins. I understand that you probably love your cousin more than in a family way, but please, I want both of you not to broadcast it on the radio. The fans do have the radios from NASCAR and they do listen to every word you two say. So be careful. I will say the same thing to Bo next time. Speaking of which, next time he comes to the pit, I want you to switch with him so I can talk to him.

Luke: Do you want to talk to him now?

Team Boss: Yeah, put the uniform on and switch with Bo.

Luke goes to change into the uniform and goes to the pits and calls in Bo.

Luke: Hey Bo?

Bo: Yeah?

Luke: Come on in, I’ll take over for you.

Bo: Does he want to talk to me?

Luke: Yeah, besides it’s a yellow flag. Come on in.

Bo comes on in and climbs out and Luke goes in taking Bo’s place. The boss wanted to talk to Bo.

Bo: Win it for me, Luke.

Luke: Will do.

Bo: Good luck.

Luke: Thanks.

Luke drives out of the pits and takes off onto the track, while Bo makes it to the boss’s office.

Bo: You wanted to see me, boss?

Team Boss: Yes, Bo. I told Luke, this and now I’m telling you. I understand that both you and Luke are very close, and when I heard the last transmission Luke made to you, it seems that you’re gonna be acting more than cousins. I understand that you probably love your cousin more than in a family way, but please, I want both of you not to broadcast it on the radio. The fans do have the radios from NASCAR and they do listen to every word you two say. So be careful.

Bo: Yes sir. I’m sure it won’t happen again.

Team Boss: It better not. I don’t want it to happen again. I will suspend both of you for the weekend without pay. I forgot to tell Luke that, so when you get back out there, I want you to broadcast that to your cousin.

Bo: (gulps) Yes sir. Sorry sir.

Team Boss: (smiling as he says this) Get out. Got some work to do.

Bo: (smiling back) Yes sir, I’m gone.

Bo makes it back to the pits and puts on the headset to see how Luke is doing.

Bo: How’s it going Luke?

Luke: I see you’re back.

Bo: Yeah. He forgot to mention that if we let what we said on the radio again, he’ll suspend us for the weekend without pay.

Luke: I guess that won’t happen again. We need the money, Bo.

Bo: Tell me about it. We’re getting low on a few things.

Luke: Why didn’t you tell me that before?

Bo: I forgot.

Luke: You forgot?

Bo: Sorry.

Team Boss: (behind Bo) Don’t forget Bo.

Bo: (jumps) Oh, gosh.

Team Boss: Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you. Just came to see how many tires we have left, so I can start on the bills and your paychecks. I will have to dock yours and Luke’s pay for your last broadcast.

Bo: No, please, don’t do that. It won’t happen again, I promise.

Team Boss: I know it won’t happen again, but I will take at least $10.00 out of your paycheck.

Gasman for the 01 car: I thought it was $5.00 you took off.

Team Boss: You weren’t listening to the broadcast that the two Dukeboys were talking about.

Gasman: Yes I was.

Team Boss: I’m sure you’re not and that’s my final word on that subject. Don’t you have a gas can to fill?

Gasman: Yes, sir.

Bo: How’s the car doing?

Luke: You’re right about the timing. It’s off by a lot. We’ll fix it after the race.

Team Boss: Let me talk to Luke.

Front tire changer: Here’s my radio, sir.

Team Boss: Luke, you be careful with that engine. I’m not sure if that engine will hold with the timing off.

Luke: I know, sir. Did you just see that? Dale, Jr. just cut me off.

Team Boss: I saw that Luke. Just be careful.

Boss’s assistant: Kick his tail, Luke.

Team Boss: Watch your language. There are kids listening too.

With 36 laps to go, Luke is trying his best at 17th place. Working his way to the front, but now a yellow flag comes out again for debris at lap 234.

Luke: Dang litterbugs!

Team Boss: Watch your language Luke Duke.

Luke: Sorry, but why do all these spectators keep throwing their garbage onto the track? Don’t they know that there are trash receptacles around the stands?

Bo: I’m sure they do know, they just want to make the officials mad.

Luke: I’m surprised that the NASCAR President doesn’t get mad about it.

Team Boss: I’ve talked to him about it, and he does get upset about it. He just can’t do anything about it.

There is a yellow flag out and right now, Luke is in 29th place. Can he keep it, or will he make it to win this race? The white flag is out. The checkered flag finally comes out and Luke comes out 13th place. (Attention Readers: I’m not typing another one with them in Atlanta, because there are no shows in Georgia. If there is, please e-mail me at miamidolphinlady@hotmail.com Thanks. PS. I might not know some of those shows.)

Luke: Sorry guys, I wanted to win for you.

Bo: It’s okay, Luke. At least you made it in the top 20, cousin.

Luke: I was hoping for the top 10.

Bo: Come on in, we need to take the car to the impound, before we pack it up for next week in Atlanta.

Luke: You bet. I need to call the farm.

Team Boss: You can do that later. Right now, we got the pit area to clean up and then the garage needs to be cleaned of our tools too.

Luke drives the 01 car into the garage so the officials can check out all the cars that ran today, then they drove the cars back to their trailers and drove back home. Bo and Luke drove back home to Hazzard County and drove to the farmhouse and went to visit Uncle Jesse, Daisy, Coy and Vance and had a big feast of Uncle Jesse’s “Crawdad Bisqueâ€.

Daisy: I caught the last part of the race and saw that you were climbing into the car.

Uncle Jesse: Are you alright, Bo?

Bo: Yeah, our boss wanted to talk to me, so I let Luke drive the rest of the race.

Luke: I’m sorry, Bo for not winning that race for you.

Bo: It’s okay, Luke. I could try again next week when we race in Atlanta.

Coy: Atlanta? Cool.

Vance: We have something to do next week.

Coy: Oh, not that. Not during the NASCAR race?!

Vance: Sorry, but it’s got to be done.

Coy: Dang it!

Uncle Jesse: Watch that language Coy Duke! If I hear another cuss word, I’m just gonna get the strap.

Coy: Sorry, Uncle Jesse.

Vance: What did your boss want?

Luke: It wasn’t that important, Vance.

Bo: Yeah, Luke’s right, it wasn’t really important. Luke, I need to get the house to get something.

Vance: I thought you still lived here.

Luke: No, we moved out. We still come here to do the chores.

Bo: Luke, I need the keys for the car.

Luke: Oh right, here you go.

Bo got into the car and drove to his and Luke’s house to get what he said he had to get. Bo found it and put it into the trunk of the General Lee and drove back to the farm.

Bo: I’m back!

Luke: It’s about time. I need to see you in the bathroom for a minute.

Bo: Oh?

Bo and Luke walk into the bathroom and Luke locked the door behind him.

Luke: I love you, Bo.

Bo: I love you too, Luke, but why did you call me in the bathroom with you?

Luke: Well, I was wondering if you’d like to take a shower with me? I don’t want to take one alone.

Bo: (gets the picture) Sure I will. I was gonna ask you to join me too. But couldn’t you think about doing this when we got home?

Luke: I would, but I don’t think I can handle waiting anymore. (Bo sees Luke’s erection sticking out of his jeans.)

Bo: (moans) I don’t think I can wait anymore either. I did bring that lube cream because I somehow knew that we might be needing it.

Luke: I thought that was what you were gonna get.

Coy: (other side of the bathroom door) Guys, can I get in there for a moment?

Bo: Yeah, one moment, Coy.

Luke: (whispers to Bo) Dang, I can’t hold it much longer.

Bo: (whispers back to Luke) We can do this in our old room, all we have to do is lock that door.

Luke: Coming out, Coy.

Coy: Okay. What are you doing in there, anyway?

Luke: I . . . I needed to talk to Bo in private.

Coy: Oh. Okay.

Luke pulled his pants back up and both he and Bo walked out and down the hallway to their old bedroom.

Luke: We’ll be right back, Coy.

Bo: If you need us, just knock on the door.

Coy: Didn’t you just finish talking to Bo in the bathroom?

Luke: I wasn’t finished talking when you came to the door.

Coy: I’m sorry, but I gotta go really bad.

Bo: We didn’t mean to HOG up the bathroom. Sorry about that. Luke really needs to talk to me in private. We’ll be out soon.

Luke: If we don’t get to the bedroom, I’m gonna forget, Bo.

Bo: Coming, Lo . . . Luke. (Caught himself before calling Luke “love†in front of Coy)

Bo and Luke finally made it to their old room. Luke was a little upset that Bo had the slip of the tongue by calling Luke, love.

Luke: I can’t believe you almost slipped in calling me Love, instead of my name.

Bo: I’m sorry. I did catch myself though.

Luke: That’s besides the point, if Coy finds out, then he'll tell Vance, then he'll tell Uncle Jesse and Daisy will find out. That would be good for Uncle Jesse to disown us and throw us out the farm forever!

Bo: (tears starting to form) I . . . I’m sorry, cousin.

Luke: I don’t know if I can trust you now.

Bo: I am very sorry that I almost let it slip out. Please forgive me, Luke?

Luke: I don’t know, if I let it go this time, will you foul it up again?

Bo: You got my word that I, Beauregard James Duke will never foul up again.

Luke: I, Lukas Keith Duke will believe it when I see it. (Smiling)

Bo: Cute, Luke Duke.

Bo takes Luke’s hand and tosses him onto the bed and then sits on Luke’s chest with a big smile on his face.

Luke: What are you going to do, Beauregard?

Bo: Nothing yet, I’m just admiring the view right now.

Luke: Oh? What does this view show you?

Bo: That this handsome hunk is the most beautiful, gorgeous and strong man that couldn’t hold himself back from being thrown onto this bed. (Smiling and then laying a kiss onto Luke’s forehead)

Luke: (teasing) Well, I’ll have to tell him that he can’t be thrown by a tall blonde-haired guy, known as my cousin to my old bed. Besides, I let you do it.

Bo: You did, did you?

Luke: I did, what are you gonna do?

Bo: I don’t know. I think I’m gonna have to spank you now.

Luke: Oh no, I’m so scared. I’m shaking in my boots.

There was a knock on the bedroom door.

Coy: Hey, Bo, Luke. Come on out and eat. Lunch is ready.

Luke: We’ll be right out.

Bo: Yeah, after we finish our long talk.

Coy: Okay. Are you 2 alright?

Luke: Yeah, we’re fine. Be right there, Coy.

Bo: (Tries to whisper, but whispers a little loud) I’m still sorry for almost slipping by calling you love instead of Luke.

Luke: I know, and I forgive you, darling. We just have to be careful around our family and friends.

Vance: Hey fellas, come on, your food’s getting cold.

Bo: Okay, Vance. We’re coming.

Luke: We’re coming right now. Right, Bo?

Bo: (sighs) Yeah, Luke. Be right out, Vance.

Vance: You better, because if you’re not out, Uncle Jesse’s coming in with the strap.

Luke: He’ll have to catch us first, before he uses the strap on us.

Bo: Luke, you know that he always catches me, because you run faster than a rabbit hops.

Luke: (laughs) I know.

Vance: I think I’ll let Uncle Jesse know that you’re NOT coming.

Bo: No, wait . . . we’re coming.

Luke: You’re no fun, Bo.

Bo and Luke come out the room and head for the kitchen. Uncle Jesse isn’t quite happy with his nephews, Bo and Luke.

Uncle Jesse: Bo, Luke, I want to talk to you later in the barn.

Bo: Please Uncle Jesse, we’re sorry.

Uncle Jesse: Are you? Eat, then we’re gonna talk. Vance, Coy, you come when I call you to do me a favor.

Coy: Yes, sir.

Vance: I was gonna head to the Boar’s Nest after to meet Sara-Jane and . . . (interrupted)

Uncle Jesse: You heard me, Vance Duke.

Vance: Yes, sir. I guess I can call her to cancel our date tonight.

Uncle Jesse: You boys eat, then you’ll do the dishes and then meet me out to the barn. Coy and Vance will wait in the other room until I call them. Daisy’s at work and she’ll be home late. I have to check on Maudine and see how her hoof is doing.

Vance and Coy walked into the living area while Bo and Luke were eating dinner and Uncle Jesse was tending to Maudine the mule. Bo and Luke both finished eating and started washing the dishes and put them away. They met Uncle Jesse out to the barn.

Luke: You wanted to see us, Uncle Jesse.

Uncle Jesse: Yes I did. VANCE, COY, GET OUT HERE!

Bo: I don’t like this cousin.

Luke: Me neither.

Coy and Vance walked out to the barn.

Vance: Yes, Uncle Jesse?

Uncle Jesse: I want you to hold Bo and Luke down on the ground.

Bo: What?

Luke: What did we do?

Uncle Jesse: Now, Coy and Vance. (Grabs the strap and gets ready to strap both of Bo and Luke in the butt)

Both Bo and Luke scream in pain as Uncle Jesse whips them in the butt. He stops for a minute and asks them some questions.

Uncle Jesse: Did you or didn’t you just let it slip out that you’re gay?

Luke: (crying) I didn’t do it! I didn’t, I swear on your life!

Bo: (also crying) I didn’t mean for it to slip! Forgive me, Uncle Jesse! Leave Luke alone. I’ll confess everything.

Luke: I didn’t want Bo to say anything. (Sniff) It was my fault for telling Bo not to say anything because I knew that you’d kick us off the farm for good.

Uncle Jesse: Why didn’t you tell me this? I would’ve understood, I don’t want you on this farm for at least a year, you got me?

Luke: Yes, sir.

Bo: When do you want us off the farm, Uncle Jesse?

Uncle Jesse: That’s another thing, I don’t want to hear the words Uncle Jesse from you. If and when we should meet anywhere in town. I’m not your uncle until you’re back here in 1 year. Got me?

Luke: Yes, sir.

Uncle Jesse: Coy, Vance, please help these 2 pack whatever they need and escort them to your borrowed car. The General Lee belongs with the Duke family.

Vance: Yes, sir. Sorry, cousins.

Uncle Jesse: They aren’t your cousins now, Vance. They are strangers for 1 year. You don’t know them and they don’t know you.

Coy: That’s not fair, Uncle Jesse.

Vance: I’d keep my mouth shut, unless you want to join them.

Coy: I’m sorry.

Vance: Let’s go!

Bo and Luke have no other choice, but to get some of the stuff they came to get before they ate dinner. Daisy just came home to get something from the farm. She saw Bo and Luke escorted to Coy and Vance’s borrowed car.

Daisy: What’s going on? Why are Bo and Luke going to your car instead of the General?

Uncle Jesse: It’s a long story Daisy girl. The one thing I will tell you is that for 1 year, you do not know Bo and Luke. They’re not your cousins and they’re not related to us. Is that clear?

Daisy: (sighs) Yes, sir. I don’t like it, but I understand. So, for 1 year, you don’t want me to even know them?

Uncle Jesse: That’s right. Mind me, Daisy. If and when they should show up at the Boar’s Nest, they are only customers. If they break up a fight at the Boar’s Nest, I want them in jail, because the fights will be broken up by Coy and Vance. Is that clear? Do you boys understand?

Bo and Luke: Yes, sir.

Bo and Luke drove off the farm and took their last look at what was the last place they were brought up after their parents died. Not allowed to return until 1 year is over and done with.

Bo: I can’t believe that Uncle Jesse threw us off the farm.

Luke: I told you that it would happen if either of us had slipped up.

Bo: I’m sorry, Luke.

Luke: I know. I should be apologizing and not only to you, but to Uncle Jesse and the rest of the family.

Bo: I know, but we can’t go back there now, because we’ve been banned from the farm and away from our General Lee.

Luke: I know. 1 year feels like a life-time. Right about now, Daisy’s probably telling everyone that we’re temporarily not a Duke, but complete strangers. Don’t expect everyone not to recognize us if and when we get into town.

Bo: You know, that Boss Hogg and Rosco won’t be going after us for 1 year.

Luke: Oh my God, you’re right. We’ll discuss what we’ll do next tomorrow morning. Let’s just get home.

Bo: Yeah, let’s. What if after the year is over, will Uncle Jesse take us back?

Luke: Of course he will. You think he won’t?

Bo: I don’t know. I’m scared, Luke. What if he don’t?

Luke: Don’t know. I’m sure that Coy and Vance will talk to him into taking us back in.

Bo: I don’t like not being a part of the Duke family anymore, Luke.

Luke: We are still Dukes, but in front of everybody we’re not. You are still Beauregard Duke and I’m still Lukas Duke, so don’t say we’re no longer Dukes.

Bo: I know, Luke.

Luke: How did they know that we’re gay?

Bo: I don’t know, I’ve been with you all day, so don’t look at me that way, Lukas Duke.

Luke: I believe you, Bo. I’m guessing that either Coy or Vance must’ve over-heard our discussion through the door.

Bo: You mean they eaves dropped?

Luke: Yeah, I guess they did. I’m sorry, Bo.

Bo: I know you are, Luke. I’m sorry too.

Luke: Let’s just get home. My butt is still sore.

Bo: I know, mine is too. Did he have to hit us so hard?

Luke: I’m sure that he didn’t mean to, but he was quite upset with us not telling him that we are gay.

Bo: I’m just glad that he didn’t say that he’d ban us for life.

Luke: I’m glad too. (Sigh) Let’s just go home and find out what we need to buy tomorrow.

Bo and Luke drove the rest of the way home in silence. Meanwhile, back at the Duke farm:

Coy: I think that Uncle Jesse hit Bo and Luke quite hard with the strap.

Vance: I’ve noticed when that strap really hit them in the butt. I don’t think that Uncle Jesse didn’t mean it.

Coy: I think we should ask him about it. I know that he doesn’t want to talk about them, but they are still kin.

Vance: Okay, but don’t take offense and don’t let Uncle Jesse know that you’re taking their side or else he’ll ban you from the farm too.

Coy: Alright, cousin. (Sighs) Here goes nothing. (Walks to Uncle Jesse) Uncle Jesse?

Uncle Jesse: What is it, Coy?

Coy: I’m sorry to ask this, but, don’t you think you had hurt our cousins bad with the strap?

Uncle Jesse: Are you sticking up for them?

Coy: No, sir. I was just curious to when you had hit both Bo and Luke that you kind of hit them too hard.

Uncle Jesse: I don’t want to hear their names for 1 year. If and when you see them, I want you to steer clear of them. Understand?

Coy: Yes, sir.

Uncle Jesse: I’ve told the whole town the same thing. They’re not allowed to communicate with them, either on CB as Dukes, but if they need help, that’s a different story. You and Vance will go to town tomorrow and get some fence mending stuff. Somebody or something smashed our fence at the West forty. Get ready for bed, we’ll begin our chores in the morning.

Coy: Okay, Uncle Jesse. Goodnight.

Uncle Jesse: G’night.

Uncle Jesse, Coy and Vance had gone to sleep while Daisy was still working at the Boar’s Nest. Bo and Luke had stopped by for a few cold drinks of watered-down beer.

Luke: Daisy, can we have a beer?

Daisy: (whispers to Luke) I’m not supposed to know you. Besides, how are you gonna pay if you no-longer have a tab? Since Uncle Jesse banned you as a Duke for a year, you don’t have a tab anymore.

Bo: That’s right, since we’ve been banned, nobody knows us.

Boss Hogg: (comes out of the office) Who are you talking to Daisy Duke?

Daisy: I don’t know who they are, Boss. They want a beer, but they don’t have the money to pay for it. I was telling them that they had to go.

Luke: I’m quite sorry. We were just asking for a drink. We’ll be leaving now, sir.

Rosco: Shall I arrest them, Boss?

Boss Hogg: No need to, Rosco. They’re just leaving. I don’t want any trouble.

Luke: We don’t want to cause any trouble, Mr. Hogg.

Bo: My cousin’s right, sir. We’re leaving now.

Boss Hogg: You 2 are cousins?

Luke: Yeah.

Rosco: What are your names, son?

Luke: Bo and Luke Rosenburg.

Bo: (questions Luke) Rosenburg?

Luke: (whispers to Bo) We can’t use Duke, remember? Duke is banned from our names.

Bo: Right, I forgot.

Boss Hogg: I haven’t heard that name. Are you new here?

Bo: We’ve been here for awhile now, Mr. Hogg.

Boss Hogg: I have a job for you two. I want to see you in my office tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, Daisy, give these two a beer on the house.

Daisy: Yes, sir, Boss.

While Boss Hogg had gone to figure out what Bo and Luke can do while they were banned as Dukes. Rosco walks into the office.

Rosco: Boss, you’re giving Bo and Luke Duke a job?

Boss Hogg: Rosco, we have been told by Jesse that for 1 year that Bo and Luke are not Dukeboys. We have to treat them as strangers. I know they can’t pay right now for their beer, but they are still living in Hazzard County.

Rosco: What about their probation that they have from running Moonshine?

Boss: They are still on probation, but when they have a race to go to, they’re excused and allowed to leave anytime those days come.

Boss Hogg walks out of the office and Rosco follows behind.

Boss: Boys, I want you to have Rosco deputize you into his deputies. I will have a patrol car waiting for you. I know that Coy and Vance are still your cousins, but I want you to have them arrested whether or not they’ve done or haven’t done anything. I know I’ve been making corrupt deals just to have you arrested, but whenever I tell you to arrest them . . . (interrupted)

Luke: We will do everything you say, boss. We will arrest Coy and Vance.

Bo: Yes, sir. Even though we’d hate to do it, but we will arrest our cousins. Even if our names temporarily isn’t Duke.

Boss: Rosco, get them some uniforms and get them a patrol car.

Rosco: Yes sir. I love it, I love it. Ghee!

Bo and Luke drove to the Duke farm in the patrol car to arrest their cousins Coy and Vance Duke. Vance looked out the window.

Vance: It looks like Rosco and Enos driving up.

Coy: Let me look. (Looks out the window.) Looks more like Bo and Luke.

Vance: Bo and Luke? Now why in heck would Bo and Luke come and arrest us?

Coy: Revenge?

Vance: I doubt it. I’m sure that Boss and Rosco gave them a job since being banned from the farm.

Uncle Jesse: What in tarnation is going on out there?

Vance: It seems that Boss had Bo and Luke deputized and are coming here to arrest me and Coy.

Uncle Jesse: That low-down, dirty . . . (interrupted)

Vance: Just because they’re temporarily not a Duke, doesn’t mean that they still can’t earn their keep.

Uncle Jesse: You’re right.

Coy: How are we gonna elude them? They know every trick in the book. Besides, they even showed us how to lose Rosco, Enos and Cletus. There is no-way we can lose them.

On the CB is Deputy Luke Duke.

Luke: Alright, in there, Coy and Vance Duke. Come on out.

Vance: (on the CB) Luke, you can’t do this to us. We’re kin.

Luke: Not to Jesse we are. I mean it, kin or no kin, you’re under arrest.

Coy: What’s the charge? We ain’t done anything.

Bo: You are accused of making illegal Moonshine.

Vance: You know dang well that us Dukes don’t make Moonshine, Bo and Luke.

Luke: We both ain’t a Duke right now, and we don’t know if you are or aren’t since we’ve been banned from the farm. So get out here right now, so we can arrest you.

Uncle Jesse: Coy, Vance, even though they are your cousins they wouldn’t know if we were making Moonshine after Bo and Luke were banned from coming back to the farm.

Coy: I’m surprised they even stayed here instead of going back home in California.

Vance: I’m sure they’ve got their reasons for staying here instead of going home. Maybe they wanted some extra money because they don’t have to race until February.

Coy: I forgot that.

Luke: NOW Coy and Vance Duke!

Uncle Jesse: I know you can’t outrun them, but you can meet me at the #4 still site.

Vance: Wouldn’t Bo and Luke look there for us?

Uncle Jesse: I have a lot of still sites that neither Bo and Luke have seen. Go out the back door.

Coy and Vance sneak out the back door. Bo sees Coy from the corner of his eye.

Bo: Hey Luke, there goes Coy and Vance!

Luke: I hate to do this, but . . . FREEZE IT!!

Coy: Why don’t you make us, deputy! (Coy laughed after he got into the General Lee)

Luke: Dang it, do they have to take the General?

Bo: It’s the only get-away car that we . . . um, they have.

Luke: You were right the first time. The General is ours, but I don’t want to ruin the paint-job. I had him re-painted before we came here.

Bo: I didn’t know you gave the General a clean paint-job?

Luke: It was a wedding gift for you, Darling when we get married. Let’s go after them before they do ruin him.

Bo: You got it.

Bo and Luke went after Coy and Vance with the siren wailing. They still can’t believe they are chasing after their cousins.

Vance: (on the CB) Give it up, guys. You know you can catch us and not ruin the cruisers like Rosco and Enos can do. Why don’t you go back to the office and tell Boss that you let us go.

Luke: No can do, Vance Rutherford Duke. Just because I’m related to you, there is no way I’m letting you escape like Rosco and Enos do.

Boss Hogg: Luke, Bo, he’s right. But I don’t want you to let them escape. Rather you’re related or not you will not let Coy and Vance evade the arrest. You got me, you dipsticks?

Bo: We read you loud and clear, Boss. We’re gone.

Rosco: This is Rosco P. Coltrane, and I’m just south of you, we’ll meet right in the middle. Is that a roger?

Luke: That’s a big 10-4 Rosco, but please don’t ruin the paint job. He still belongs to me and Bo.

Uncle Jesse: For now he isn’t. He belongs to Coy and Vance. But Luke is right, be careful of the paint-job.

Bo and Luke catch up with the General Lee. They get as close as they can and Bo had no choice, but to shoot out one of the General’s tires.

Bo: I’m sorry Luke, but they give me no choice. I have to shoot out one of the General’s tires.

Luke: I understand, go ahead.

Bo took his bow and arrow and aimed it at the General Lee’s tire.

Bo: I’m sorry, General. (He let’s go of the arrow and it landed right into the General’s tire.)

The General’s tire blows and Vance carefully steers him to the side.

Bo: Sorry, cousins.

Vance: It’s okay, Bo. Besides we need to talk to you. We wanted to talk to you earlier, but Uncle Jesse made us steer clear of you.

Luke: That clears it. That’s why we saw you walk into the Boar’s Nest and not look our way.

Coy: Uncle Jesse was with us. If he saw us looking at you, he’d probably tan our hides.

Luke: Understandable. Want us to help you change the tire?

Vance: No thank you, Luke. If boss, Rosco, or Uncle Jesse saw grease on your uniforms, he’d definitely would tan our hides.

Bo: Good idea. Boss would want to know how we got grease on the uniforms. Would you give us the honor of arresting you and taking you in?

Vance: I don’t see why not. I can’t let you be embarrassed when the boss yells at you for letting us escape. Let’s get arrested, Coy.

Coy: Right behind you, cousin. Arrest away.

Bo: As Rosco would say, (imitating Rosco’s voice) “I love it, I love it.†(Laughs).

As Bo and Luke arrested their cousins, Vance had called Cooter to tow the General to the Duke farm. Boss was pleased as punch when he saw Bo and Luke had arrested their cousins.

Luke: Here you go, Boss. Two Dukeboys to be booked and put behind bars.

Rosco: Ooh gi, gi . . . How did you do that without letting them escape?

Luke: We aren’t as dumb as you or any of your other dipsticks, Rosco. Besides, we didn’t want to ruin a nice patrol car and Cooter having for you or Boss Hogg to pay for the repairs.

Boss Hogg: Bo, Luke, take your prisoners downstairs to the cells.

Bo: Sorry, cousins. Let’s go.

Bo and Luke escort their cousins to the jail cells downstairs. While downstairs, Bo, Luke, Coy and Vance have a little discussion.

Luke: We didn’t really want to do this, but since we are working for Boss Hogg, we have to obey him.

Vance: Even if it is a bogus charge that Boss himself has made and accuse us of doing it even if we didn’t do it?

Luke: Even if. We could just go back home in California, but I don’t want to go back with a stain on the name of Duke.

Vance: I understand, Luke. I wouldn’t want to go back and our other aunt and uncle hear about what had occurred here in Hazzard, mostly back at the farm.

Bo: Don’t remind me.

Coy: Sorry, Bo. When you do have the rights back into the Duke family again, we will welcome you back and make sure that Uncle Jesse takes you back too.

Luke: Thanks, Coy. What will happen if he doesn’t take us back in a year?

Vance: Luke, you never worry about such things. Usually Bo would probably worry about it.

Bo: You’re right, Vance. I would worry about it. But I think it’s Luke’s turn. (Laughs)

Luke: Very funny, Bo. :Þ (To make that Þ press the Alt key + the numbers 0222. Then let go.)

Bo: :Þ to you too, Lukas.

After Coy and Vance walked into the cell, Bo made sure the cell doors closed tight so Coy and Vance didn’t escape. Although he wishes he could let them go. Bo and Luke walked back upstairs.

Boss: Rosco, why couldn’t you do a fantastic job like Bo and Luke?

Luke: It ain’t Rosco’s fault. He’s not as perfect as us. Believe me, Rosco does a great job trying to catch us Dukes the best he can.

Bo: I happen to agree with Luke, just because Rosco isn’t a great officer, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t do a stupendous job at trying to arrest us and our cousins.

Rosco: Ah shucks . . . Thank you fellas. (He said blushing.).

Luke: I’ve never seen you blush before, Rosco and it looks kind of cute.

Bo: Luke?

Luke: Not in that way, Bo. You are the love of my life. I couldn’t replace you.

Rosco: Oh brother. Can’t you do that elsewhere and not here?

Bo: Sorry, Rosco.

Rosco: That’s sheriff to you!

Luke: Yes, sir sheriff. You heard him, Bo.

Bo: Sorry. Yes, sir sheriff.

Rosco: I want you two to go on duty. I have another patrol car for you, Bo. The more patrol car’s there are, the more the merrier. Since Enos is out of town and Cletus is doing his old job as an armored car driver, I want you to set up speed traps.

Luke: Yes, sir sheriff. Let’s go, Bo.

Bo: Right behind ya . . . dipstick. (Laughs)

Luke: Watch it, Beauregard.

Boss Hogg: Didn’t Rosco give you an order?

Bo: We’re gone.

Bo and Luke went to their separate patrol cars and headed in different directions to find a good place to set up their speed traps. Bo contacted Luke and told him to go to a different channel so they could talk in private.

Bo: Luke, I need to talk to you on a different channel. How about “Disco Music†(channel 01 that nobody ever uses). Are you there, Luke?

Luke: Yeah, Bo. What’s the matter?

Bo: I’m worried about when we do go back home in California.

Luke: What are you worried about?

Bo: How are we gonna act when we go back home and our friends and boss knows that we had gotten kicked out of the family for 1 year?

Luke: Let’s not worry about it until we go back home. I’m sure that we’d be treated as a Duke even though we aren’t Dukes for a year. I doubt that anybody back home were told.

Bo: What about Enos? He has to go back to the police station in Los Angeles.

Luke: You know what, I forgot about Enos. Let’s switch back to the police channel.

As soon as they turned their CB’s back to the police channel, they heard there uncle on the CB.

Uncle Jesse: You heard me, Daisy-Mae. You stay as far away from Bo and Luke. If you should happen to see them on patrol, you steer away from them.

Daisy: What happens if they pursue me?

Uncle Jesse: You know what you have to do. I’m sure they are listening right now.

Luke: (to himself) Dang.

Bo: (also to himself) Dang.

Daisy: I’m sure you’re right, Uncle Jesse. Where’s Coy and Vance?

Uncle Jesse: I’m sure that Bo and Luke arrested them and they’re in jail. I’m going into town and make bail.

After Uncle Jesse got off the CB, he drove off towards the courthouse to make Coy and Vance’s bail.

Uncle Jesse: Alright J.D., I’m here to bail out my boys.

Boss Hogg: Which boys, Jesse?

Uncle Jesse: The ones that are not on your payroll.

Boss Hogg: Ooh. You mean Coy and Vance. The bail is $200 dollars.

Uncle Jesse: I thought it was $150 dollars.

Boss Hogg: It was $150 dollars for those certain boys that were your nephews, whom happen to be on patrol right now.

Uncle Jesse: Those certain nephews are still mine, but right now aren’t for 1 year, J.D. please release my other nephews and we will take our leave back to the farm.

Boss Hogg: Rosco, would you please release Coy and Vance, while I will gladly take Jesse’s bail money.

Rosco: Yes, sir.

Coy, Vance and Rosco walk upstairs and see that Uncle Jesse’s waiting for them.

Uncle Jesse: You boys are getting harder and harder to bail out.

Coy: It ain’t just us, Uncle Jesse.

Vance: I think he meant them too, Coy.

Coy: Oh, okay.

Uncle Jesse: Let’s just get back to the farm. You boys have some chores to do before bed.

Vance: Yes, sir. Let’s go, Coy.