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To Keep On Keepin' On


DaisyMaeDuke

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"No...no...NO!" he yelled out so loud he woke himself up staring shakily at Bo. Though the nightmares had camed in intensity, they werent fully gone yet. "I'm safe...I'm home..." he muttered to himself as Sara had taught him to do. "They can't get me..." he continued looking to Bo for the affirmation Sara was always there to give.

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Bo was surprised when Luke woke himself up....started calming himself down...for Luke to be able to do that meant something had drastically altered his views on his past, present and future. He quickly snapped back into action though as Luke looked to him, nodding reassuringly with what he was saying.

"That's right Luke...yer safe at home...at the farm...ain't no one gonna get ya..."

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  • 2 months later...

Bo nodded gently, wondering what it was that Sara did that got Luke to open up like a book to her. He had no doubt that if Sara had been here, Luke would be babbaling away about the dream right now to her and he'd settle within minutes...but then again Sara had probably heard it all before doing what she did. Luke was probably more hesitant to tell Bo about the horrors of Nam, of anything. In a way, Bo was kind of disappointed that Luke still thought him so naive that he couldn't handle such information, was a little disappointed that Luke couldn't see he'd grown up. But largely he was happy that Luke still thought of him as the little brother, it gave him a place, a purpose in Luke's life and Bo was happy with that...it was something he was good at, he'd had a lot of practise over the years.

"Well...I aint Sara but i'll listen t'whatever ya wanna say...or I could get her on the phone if you like..."

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Luke swallowed. It was hard to tallk about with anyone... especially Bo. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to his brother. He did. Bo was his best friend. Yet a part of him, the protective big-brother part of him, wanted to keep up the facade that was Bo's innocence. To him, the horrors of war was something he went through in the hopes that Bo wouldn't have to. Still, he supposed Bo knew better anyway...

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Bo got to his feet as soon as Luke spoke, expecting for him to say he wanted to talk to Sara...needed to. He stopped mid rise though as the words he heard come from Luke's mouth were not the ones his brain was expecting...Luke...Luke was opening up to him. Biting his lip, he lowered himself back down to kneeling on the floor by his bed, taking his cousin's slightly trembling hand gently and nodding a little to show he was listening.

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"Was...hot...ya could almost see the steam risin' up...was...was sposed t be just...just a routine scoutin mission....nothin more...I had the map of the area...was just sposed to follow orders...it...itd been quiet...least...quiet for there...but it didn't feel right..." fumbled Luke, picking at his fingers as he talked, his blue eyes holding the frightened, haunted look he always had after a nightmare.

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Bo swallowed softly, not knowing what to do as Luke shrank into himself. He'd dealt with nightmares before...and boy had he dealt with em...trouble was, when Luke got like this he didn';t know what to do or to say...all he could do was listen and that made him nervous. Unlike Luke, Bo couldn't stand to just watch and let a situation unfold then do something about it. He jumped into things headfirst, and dealt with it as it went along...he was a man of action, of doing...he didn't know what to do when all that was required of him was to sit and listen.

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Luke swallowed hard nodding. It was too much for him. He should have known Bo couldn't handle it. He tried hard to convince himself that Bo wasn't just passing him off, but the old uncertainty he had been trying to get rid of seemed to nag at him. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. Even with his abundance of curls that he refused to cut off he could still feel it...the scar...the blow to the head...he felt it all.

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Bo lowered his head a little seeing Luke swallow hard and seeing doubt flare in Luke's eyes....doubting himself now and his own ability to help Luke. All it seemed he'd been able to do since Luke had been home was to make him start doubting everything again. Swallowing gently as he tried to keep his bottom lip from quivering, he stood up with a nod and headed out to the phone where Sara's number had been placed beside it.

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