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County of Hazzard Legal Notice


MaryAnne

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"You have got to be kiddin' me. MaryAnne, if you don't git that door open inside a' ten seconds, I'm gonna holler for Amnesty International, and then I'm gonna file a complaint with the Civil Liberties Union, n' THEN I'm gonna cuss like hell."

After watching MaryAnne fight with the lock another moment, takes a two-handed grip on the bars, lowers head, sighs....and then....

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! This can't be happenin'!! This is cruel and unusual punishment!! Somebody call a locksmith!!"

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"Oh just hush a moment..." MaryAnne takes a small pouch from her gunbelt and opens it up, revealing her lock picking kit. "Brian, believe me I'm tryin' to get ya outta here! " She selects a tool and goes to work on the lock. After more than 10 seconds, the lock still hasn't given.

"*&%$#@!!" MaryAnne picks another tool and tries it but still no lock...er...luck. She sighs looking at her useless lock picking tool and the stubborn lock. "Startin' cussin', cousin."

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"@#&*%#& sonofa #@&%* an' #$%@#*@!!!" After taking a breath, looks through the bars, and says:

"Awright. Let's not lose our heads heah. One lock, two Coltranes. This ain't no big deal, it's just a little dee-lay, we'll figure it out. Now yer keys ain't workin', and the lockpick ain't workin'. And I can tell ya, I tried stickin' a dinner fork in there the other night, and that didn't work. So we can rule out those things as e-ffective solutions."

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Looks at Brian. "You WHAT?!?! You stuck a dinner fork in here one night?? Cripes, no wonder the @#!$%ing thing won't open!" Pauses and takes a breath. "Yer right, two Coltranes one lock..." Looks over at Mac. "Oh hey, Mac. I think I got it covered here but don't go nowhere....hmmm...." Looks at the lock and then looks down at gun. "AH HA!!" Pulls gun from holster. "Stand back, Brian, I'm gonna try to shoot it." Takes aim at the lock....

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MaryAnne holds her breath and releases the hammer, sending the bullet zippin' to the lock.....

....and immediately bouncing right off it.

PING! ZIP!! ZIPPOW!!

"DOHHO!!!" MaryAnne hit the floor as the bullet zipped around the booking room, pinging off the clipboard, walls, the booking desk, the metal radio set, back across the room and finally breaking through the glass of the door of Boss's office.

MaryAnne slowly stands up and looks at the hole in the glass of the door. "Uh, okay....obviously THAT didn't work..." Looks at Brian under the bunk. "You can come out, Brian it didn't work."

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"MaryAnne, that was an almighty ruckus and ya damn near blew yer own head off. Not to mention the free coronary I got with purchase!"

Crawls out from under bunk, eyes Mac and Daney. "And now this is turned into some kinda public spectacle. Mac, I appreciate yer offer, but I know MaryAnne. Hazzard law got me in here, Hazzard law is gonna halfta get me out. Lord knows how."

Walks up to bars, watches smoke drift from MaryAnne's gun. Speaks to the Deputy. "I'm beginnin' to think the chipped beef served here nightly beats the lead slug you're tryin' to serve up. Any other bright ideas, blue-sleeves?"

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"Eh hem," Hilery Davenport said clearing her throat. "i'm not speciallist but you got two choices from what i can see. If Brian didn't gain no weight while he was in there you could try one of the Duke's old escapes and use Cooter's tow truck to yank the bars off hte winder, which would cost a repair bill ... and boss would possibly go after us Davenports to pay for it because we'd be helping, OR we could use a blow torch and a screw driver to take the lock appart because the last I checked it couldn' be done just with a screwdriver for the lacking of visible screws, and then you could simply fool with the innards of the lock, preferably remove them. In the end you could easily replace the locking mechanism, and teh problems in the future with not being able to get criminals er um, parollees out will be history. But then again, what do I know, I'm just a mechanic," Hilery says shrugging. "but Brian, it's nice to see you made parole ... now they just need to get you out," Hilery says chuckling. "I know soem folks are missing you a lot. they been asking others nonstop if folks miss ya... and i thnk i speak for almost everyone when i says we all do. Believe me, we've both had some interesting talks about your past stories, and I miss the money Cooter and I were making from you bringing diablo in for my Cuz to work on ... and money from us letting you work on him in the garage," Hilery said grinning. "I hope MaryAnne and company can get you out though. and if y'all need a blow torch, just ask. Cooter has one." Hilery says finishing, then sits down behind MaryAnne's desk and goes to put her feet up then thinks better of it so she sits back on the steps in the bookingroom. "Good Luck."

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Sighs and thinks for a moment. "Brian's right, the law put 'em in here and the law's gotta get him out." MaryAnne placed her gun back in her holster and stepped over to the radio.

"Deputy MaryAnne Coltrane callin' Sheriff Rosco. You gotcha ears on cousin? I gotta...uh...problem, here at the booking room. Come back."

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"Thanks, ya'll. Heh."

Gives a smile to Daney and Mac, and to anyone else in the vicinity. Holds on to bars in a loose grip, leaning forward lazily.

"Good to see everybody. I've been havin' quite the vacation here. No work, just sittin' around readin' comic books, smokin' cigarettes, pacin' around in a circle...you outta try it! Ya don't know what yer missin'."

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Oh, I know what I am missin'. Daney thought to herself. A slender hand came up and touched her necklace. She glanced from Brian to Mac. She decided to ignore Mac's comment. Sounded like he was just as frustrated as everyone else. Her other hand reached out and held one of the bars tightly.

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Gives a nod and a smile to Val through the bars. Turns to speak to Hilery.

"Yeah, I dug the comics, thank ya. Mighty kind. And I think me annoyin' the deputies went a long way towards gettin' outta here in 30 instead a' 60. Khee!"

Takes a look at the clock on the wall...

"Though if ol' Rosco don't show tonight, I'm gonna be in here until MaryAnne gets a wreckin' ball to tear the place down. Might never get out...in one piece..."

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