Jump to content

Beauregard Special

Member
  • Posts

    52
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Beauregard Special

  1. I guess that whether it's offensive or not's a matter of opinion. I m'self have quite a few rebel flag shirts, and I've had my ex-principal compliment me on one of them, while meanwhile this new dipstick (at lack of ability to use a more fitting term) that replaced him wrote me up for a week for wearing a Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt with the band's name sporting a confederate pattern, and he threatend me when I wore a Dukes shirt in honor of Tom Wopat's birthday. It gets to the point where people are so afraid of offending one group of people they end up attacking another, doncha think?

  2. I saw this 'round the grapevine and got a little scared. Have a look-see for yourselves:

    Fourth Smokey and the Bandit in the works

    Posted by Clint Morris on February 20, 2004

    Australian Writer/Director Tim McLaughlan chewed the fat with Movieweb telling them a little bit about his plans for a fourth “Smokey and the Bandit†movie, ingeniously called “Smokey and the Bandit 4000â€.

    The film, which is in pre-production, won’t centre on the same ‘Bandit’. “We plan on opening with a shot of Burt. Then the line, “After two-thousand years of Evolution and hard core drinking, this is the man who carries the Bandit legacy into the future!†We then cut to a chubby wreck of a man in a hunting jacket, his trucker hat loosely hanging off his head. His eyes are red and sunk into the back of his skull. He is not smiling. This new Bandit is a drunk. A bumbler. He basically bumbles about in a Scotch-induced haze. He knocks a lot of stuff over. It’s pretty funnyâ€, says McLaughlan.

    So who would be playing the new ‘Bandit’? “Well, if we can convince Vince Vaughn to bulk-up a bit. Him, with that mustache, it works. We’re in talks now. We’re also looking at Mark Addy. He could nail it, I think…It’ such a diverse cut between the two, but he can carry that Burt swagger. It’s that clear line of evolution. Addy, in that red shirt and cowboy hat? Give him the mustache…That’s going to be some funny ****. But Vaughn, I think he may be the only one capable of winking directly at the audience, like The Bandit is prone to do on occasion.â€

    And ‘Smokey’? “We initially wanted Cedric the Entertainer, but now that he’s doing The Honeymooners, he doesn’t want to pre-associate himself that closely with Jackie Gleason. He doesn’t want to do two Gleason roles back-to-back. He loved our script, but The Honeymooners was closer to going in front of the camera, so he jumped on that one. We’ve discussed getting a real redneck type instead. We want to keep it true to the roots of Buford. It would have been funny if his descendant was a black guy, cause Sheriff Justice was such a bigot, but then we’re faced with yells of ‘stunt-casting’. So, right now, we’re trying to get Woody Harrelson. He’s the guy we want right now. See, the Bandit’s going to be a thick guy with a bit of a beer gut on him. But the Sheriff is going to be sleek and mean. Less of a buffoon. He’s got the Bandit by the balls, but through pure drunk stupidity, the Bandit is able to bumble his way out of it at every turn. The Bandit seldom knows what he’s doing, and that works in his favor.â€

    Burt Reynolds is up for a cameo too.

    And the storyline? “Oh, we’re sticking pretty close to the original film. We have full blessings from the Needham Estate. Hal loves the script; the concept of it. This Bandit is sort of a remake…A quasi-remake. But remake is such a harsh word. That’s why we’re throwing in the 4 (Thousand). It’s a definite play on words. This is number 4, but it’s The Bandit 4000. It works on it’s own. It’s its own little entity. Yet, it’s a sequel. It stays very true to the roots of the first film, but it’s a goof. That first Smokey and the Bandit was such an odd little movie. A really weird thing if you think about it. It’s about delivering a truck-full of beer from point A to point B. That’s our point of connection. 4000 is, once again, about bootlegging and delivering beer. Only this time, in Space. That’s it. When you watch the first three films back-to-back, there’s such an odd line of continuity. None of them really hold true to the other one. Even though 2 has Burt in it, it’s a rather off sequel. It’s about a pregnant elephant, for God’s sake. Most people forget that. What we’ve taken from that film is it’s opening sequence, which sees The Bandit a drunk mess in a hotel. We’ve taken that Bandit and given him his own movie. That’s our Bandit 4000. Only, he never sobers up through the whole film. It’s a throw back to films like Arthur, when alcoholism was funny, not a social stigma. He’s got a bit of Bender, the robot from Futurama, in him. We don’t deny that. We’ve also used some ideas from the end chase sequence in 2. It’s the best chase sequence in any of the films. We’ve got some sh*t that’s going to blow your mind. If its done right. You never know. 3? There’s very little we could take from 3. That’s just a strange, strange 90-minute stretch of film, there. Its tagline was ‘Smokey and the Bandit 3: Smokey is the Bandit’. But no, Jerry Reed was the Bandit. God love the man, but he looks like The Bandit with AIDS in that red shirt. He’s just plain scary. It doesn’t work.â€

    The film is set for release in the Spring of 2005.

    For more on the film go to Movieweb

    By the way, friends and neighbors, in case you didn't see the "release date", I'm guessing they wised up... I hope.

  3. (Coincidentally, the Dukes air on ABC Family, too, but never at a set time far as I know.)

    There has to be some way to stop this travesty, I mean, between the movie and chopping up the episodes, don't you think they've put us through enough? I mean, if they got room to show Country Fried Home Videos four times a day and that other stuff like Karaoke-Dokey, I'm sure they can still fit the Dukes of Hazzard in. Why are they cancelling, anyway? Maybe they realized the ratings were down on an all-Coy-and-Vance week and got the wrong idea? At any rate, we have to find some way to stop this, maybe a petition? Wear only Dukes merchandise for a solid month (washing between wears, of course)? March to Dukesfest (from one set place) in protest? There has to be something. I mean, does anyone even know why they're removing the Dukes from their lineup? Probably for more of that dadgum garbage like Karaoke-Dokey and Nashville Star CMT keeps on pumping out, right? Never was one for shows like that myself. I know I sound like my common sense has gone 10-7, but doesn't anyone else feel we should try something, anything?

    I guess what I'm trying to say, to avoid my painful paragraph above, is exactly WHY is it being canned, is there a real reason, and HOW can we stop it?

  4. The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning is based on Happy Birthday, General Lee

    Like Red Line is based off of Cannonball Run. This one actually makes my top 3 favorite episodes, not sure about #1 thanks to the model-stunts, but it makes up for it by being an origin episode and answering a lot of questions, like why is the General orange, or the hidden meaning of the 01. Makes me wonder, though: why didn't they use the crossing flags above the trunk for this episode, unless they only had it painted on for a short time...

  5. What did they get wrong? Let's not get me started, fellow Hazzardites.

    1) Plot innaccuracies- Luke and Bo were RAISED by Uncle Jesse from a young age after their parents died, not thrown into his care as teenagers.

    2) I think the skinny Lulu was for spite by WB, I really do.

    3) WAAAAAY too much innuendo (and NuLulu, yikes)

    4) The General's paintjob. I can get the whole "named after generals" thing, but the 01 wasn't just Bo's favorite number, it stood for something: start out with nothing and you'll always end up number one. About the only thing I can understand would be making up an excuse for the orange paint job.

    Originally said by Ben Jones as Cooter:

    Sorry, boys. All I have's orange.

    But they didn't, not that I expected it.

    5) The return of one-liner spittin' Uncle Jesse. Willie, you're a funny guy, I love your songs, I think you and the others in the Highwaymen were great, but you're no Denver Pyle. He was a patriarch, you're, well, just something else, nothing bad (in my opinion), just not Uncle Jesse.

    I personally think they should have tried taking the origin in "Happy Birthday, General Lee!" and building on that, but who ever knew WB to exercise common sense? About the only improvement to this movie are the actors, but the really need to consider a short and fat Boss for the next movie, not Tall and Skinny, he wasn't originally played by Wilt Chamberlin.

  6. Manga dukes? No, just no. There are some things you just don't do that to. The Dukes have too traditional a feel for it to work, although I do agree that Marvel seems a little extreme, be it Ultimates or Jack Kirby/Stan Lee era, they'd need something with a softer feel than X-Men or Civil War (pardon the subtle irony). I think that if they did do a comic, they'd have to come up with their own unique style.

  7. The NAACP should at least watch one show before they decide that the show is racist.

    They'd probably latch onto something like asking Garvey if he wanted to ride in the General in the Cale Yarborough episode or see one of the first five and read innuendo wrong, you know how those politically correct folks are. I sent my e-mail, said my peace, and now all I can do is wait. Can anyone think of other ways to combat this?

  8. EPISODE ONE: HOWDY, GENERAL!

    Characters (other than normal Dukes)

    Skeeves: If you didn't see the movie, he's your typical UFO-crazed redneck

    Mz. Tizdale: Maillady

    Coy and Vance: The failed clones of Bo and Luke. You know 'em, you hate 'em, but this time, they aren't carbon copies of everyone's favorite good 'ol boys

    SCENE ONE: OLD DIRT ROAD

    Balladeer: Welcome to Hazzard County, a simple place with simple folk who mind simple lives-

    <General Lee whizzes by, doing like 80>

    and the Dukes.

    <5 Hazzard patrol cars roll by>

  9. Ever got tired of no more new episodes of Dukes? Well, good news! I'm writing a whole damn new series! Strongly based of the old one, with a few alterations (nothing as major as a blonde Daisy or evil Rosco) to modernizate it a bit. Here's a link to it, and if you want to throw some opinions, PM me. And, BTW, the movie cast has NOTHING to do with this series, so lay off, fans of Stifler and Jackass!

  10. I'm willing to bet it's gonna be as follows (humor me) :

    Willie Nelson: Hey, Stifler, Jackass-

    Scott and Knoxville: THAT'S BO AND LUKE!

    Nelson: Sorry. Someone saw the cross-country race and you boys are going to London to race in the Stanfordton-on-the-marsh-by-the-abbey 500

    Simpson: Lame British reference.

    Next Scene:

    Nelson: Here we are, jolly old England

    (up comes General [insert british guy here] complete with union jack and god save the queen horn)

    Longfellow Duke: Salutations, cousins, would you like a ride?

    Scott: Sure. Ol' General's gettin' shipped over, soon as Cooter fixes him up to racing standards.

    voices: hey, cuzes. good to see ya.

    (out pop two very familiar faces)

    Balladeer: Longfellow, Coy and Vance. See, kids, we did watch the show.

    end, for now

    If it really is anything like that, and it will be, I'm executing OPERATION: ORANGE SWARM. If you read my previous post, you know what I'm talkin' about.

  11. What I meant was it was confusing when he was himself and the Balladeer at the same time in one episode, the normal Balladeer and the Waylon Jennings guest appearance was cool, since I'm a fan of the Highwaymen, but it seemed a little weird for the faceless storyteller, the Balladeer, to refer to Waylon Jennings in the first person. I hold nothing against him, but I was a little confused, so don't shoot the messenger!

  12. Plain and Simple, Coy and Vance! I half-expect WB tried to clone John and Tom, but the two mutated into something hideous! Grady Bird was terrible. Never Abe Hogg. The official worse was Rosco's sister who acted like she never met him. Never was a big fan of Lulu, particularly when she was obsessed with womens' rights. At the top of my list: Hughie and Dewey Hogg, I was actually waiting for a Louie Hogg, man, can Hazzard yank out of Disney, huh? L.B. Davenport, Cooter's cousin wasn't half bad, but not half good either. But the worst guest (you're gonna kill me for this) WALYON JENNINGS! How could he be the Balladeer, a faceless, nameless storyteller, and an outlaw country star at the same time? Plus, he was kinda just a spectator when he was on camera, which I think he picked up as the Balladeer.

  13. Yeah. I get complained at a lot about the flag. I got pulled over yesterday because my Jeep has a rebel flag front plate, my school ended up making do community service for wearing a Git-R-Done shirt with a rebel flag on it, and to make it worse, my Uncle drove me to school in his General and nobody made a big deal until someone commented from the second story about the roof. He had to replace a headlight later that day. My belt buckle has the "Two Brothers" on it. You know, Old Glory and Stars & Bars overlapping, but I never got yelled at about THAT since it has the union flag on it. Joke's on them, though. 'Cause I wore that Git-R-Done shirt to picture day, and that picture shows up on everything; my school ID card, the school website, and the yearbook! Heh. Take that, violators of the First Amendment!

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.