Written: Winter/Spring 2002 by the following contributing authors: Essy Jane and Kristy Duke.
Edited by: Essy Jane
CHAPTER ONE
The night was quieter than I was ever used to before.
As I stepped of the
bus into my new home I wasn't the least bit frightened. There was much
to
fear in my new home. I didn't have my Uncle by my side. But now I was
moving
in with a friend.
Why did I leave Hazzard? I didn't really know.
I guess being a young girl of
16 years old gave me every right in the world to leave them. They don't
like
me. I guess when your in a house full of boys they don't appreciate
you
either.
Luke just didn't give me more second look. He treated
me like a child
instead of the young woman I was. What was my natural response? Run
away.
Leave them in their tracks. I am sure that I can take care of myself
but
still unsure. I mean there were many things that I did on my own even
when I
lived on the farm.
I began to walk down the streets of Chicago when
someone latched onto my
purse. I couldn't let go of it. I had $400 in that I needed to live
off of.
Suddenly a shadow fell upon me. I heard the noise of the attacker being
punched out. But I closed my eyes tight so I couldn't see the events.
I could hear the sound of pitter pattering feet
as the robber ran away.
There were deep breath sounds coming from my hero. I turned around
to face
him. To my horror it was a familiar face. Bo Duke, that scoundrel.
"Miss me?" He asked. I walked away from
him. As he walked towards me I began
to run. He was a much faster runner than me, being in track. Bo caught
me by
the shoulders and pulled me down.
"Why did you follow me?" I snarled at him.
"Daisy, I had to follow you. I don't know
you just had that sad look in your
eyes. I didn't know what exactly to do. Well I read your diary to try
to
find out."
"You read my diary?!"
"Only because you weren't talking to any of
us." The anger built up inside
of me. I punched him in the face hard. Bo rubbed where he had been
hit.
"I'm sorry."
"Forget it, we're even now." I couldn't
believe what I had done. "You want
to go back?"
"Never! I got on this bus for a reason. With
all those boys in the
house...they treat me well...different." Bo smiled.
"We better find some where to sleep tonight.
It gets awfully cold in this
place." Bo knew from experience. He had run away on many occasions.
At one
point in time he only brought one pair of clothes with him. They were
worn
right down. Bo never told us what he did that day. I guess we would
never
find.
"You can go home if you want Bo, I am fine
on my own. Thank you for saving
my purse."
"You’re welcome and I do want to go home
but here's my question. Are you
going to come with me?"
"No! I don’t want to go back home ever again."
"Then I'm not going anywhere. I will stay
with you until you at least know
how to take care of yourself on the street." I rolled my eyes.
I didn't
understand why all of this was happening to me. He wasn't going to
leave me
alone I was guessing.
We had enough money to stay in a motel for a week
at the least. This was a
cheap motel though on the bad side of town. Bo didn't want to stay
there but
I guess it was better than sleeping under a bridge.
I tossed and turned, trying to find some peace,
trying to find some sort of
resting place but it wasn't happening for me. I decided to take a bath.
As I
went into the bathroom, I found that there was only a shower. I'd rather
lounge in the safety of a bath tub. But I guess I would have to stick
with
this.
After the shower, I lied down again, cuddling up
to my cousin. I was
frightened. All the noise outside was scaring me. Bo put an arm around
my
shoulders. It made me feel a little more comfortable. With Bo sitting
in my
small single bed I just felt safe. Like nothing was going to get me.
Though
the noises outside scared me and my heart skipped a beat at every moment
it
got. I was scared and I am glad he stayed. I yawned suddenly, slowly
nodding
off in my little dream world.
I awake to a loud siren that wails outside the
cracked window that rests
above the old torn couch that lies on the other side of the door. I
moan
awake, wishing the past day was a dream and that I was waking up in
my old
bed at the farm. I sigh listening to the siren and realize that it
wasn't a
dream at all.
Slowly I force myself up in the old hard single
bed to look around the small
hotel room to find my cousin's single bed empty the ragged comforter
lies
twisted in a mess from his turning and moving during the night. Panic
reaches deep within me as I find the bed empty as well as the room.
Too scared to move I hug onto my own ragged ugly
tan comforter for
reassurance as much as for warmth against the chilly air that rushes
in
through the cracked window. I listen to the noises as a loud bang rings
out
against the wall behind my bed, shortly followed by yelling and cussing
by a
couple in the next room.
My heart races quickly in fear at the strangeness
of what I have never
witnessed before. I lived the last ten years at the farm, the remaining
six
with my parents in Chicasaw County, much like Hazzard County. My mind
races
to Bo and to where he is or what could be happening to him at the moment.
I force myself out of my bed to my suit case I
had packed and bring out a
couple of new clothing and move to the bathroom to get changed. I look
into
the spider webbed-cracked mirror as I begin to wonder why I really
ran away
from home.
Luke wasn't that bad, I loved him to death and
I suppose that he felt that
he was only protecting me of getting hurt; I just refused to look at
it that
way without looking at it as him trying to control me as I had. He
treats Bo
the same, even worse at times due to the illness he was born with and
how
others view him; different. Though Bo never says anything or taken
it with
disgust, but kept admiring his older cousin with affection, just as
he done
when he was younger.
I finish dressing and step back into the main room,
my stomach growling the
first time since I had arrived in Chicago. Ignoring my stomach I move
to my
bed and pick up the framed photo that I had hid under my pillow. It
is a
photo of my family in Hazzard, taken only a couple of months ago. It
is so
hard to believe that I had done the unthinkable and ran away from the
people
I love so much.
I fight back a tear at the thought of how Uncle
Jesse must be feeling or
even Luke! Uncle Jesse worried and stayed up long nights. He never
slept
when he was worried and I knew that too. I felt guilty to leave him
alone
when he had so much to do already. Livonia had just died a while ago
and we
were all he had left.
Luke is not used to home life yet. He doesn’t
have to capacity to deal with
the little things. Luke is used to taking orders and replying to them.
I
guess that was another thing that made me want to run away. I still
loved
him and all but I didn’t want to look at him right now.
I couldn't believe that Bo read my diary and followed
me here, I was upset
at first, but now I am grateful. He still had no right to even go through
that. I mean my diary is personal. Where is he? What is happening to
him?
Suddenly the front door is thrown open and the
harsh sun shines brightly in.
I smile in relief to find Bo standing there with a couple of bags from
McDonalds. I glance at the clock to find that it is already nine O'clock.
Quickly I jump up and hug him tightly and he says, "Sorry didn't
figure you
would awake until I came home. I would have written a note, but have
no
paper or pen. Are you hungry? I got hash browns, two orders of biscuits
and
gravy, and two cups of orange juice."
"I sure am, thank-you," I say taking
a bag from him, "Where did you get the
money? When I left you and Luke were broke due to that bet you made
Cooter?"
He shrugs sitting down on his bed and takes out
an order of hash brown and
biscuit and gravy and I watch a while as he eats hurriedly, as if he
hasn't
eaten in the past couple of days or so. "Rhuebottom owed me some
cash, which
I used to get here and I made a deal with Enos that if he gave me some
money
I would work it off at his parent’s old farm for the next two
weeks when I
get back."
"I owe you one," I say sullenly, "though
I said that I am not going back, so
you plan on going back without me."
"No," he says stubbornly, "Luke
is real sorry, he feels real bad and says
that he will start treating you like a real lady like you are and Uncle
Jesse. . .well all he does is stare out of that window in his room.
You will
come to your senses that a girl, I mean woman from Hazzard has no place
in a
place like Chicago and that you belong in Hazzard. Things will change
for
the better...Luke is just having problems settling down since he returned
from the marines."
"I don't know about that, but I guess you
are right," I sigh thinking of
what he just told me.
I still didn't want to go back though. I had decided
to do this and didn't
want to back out now. I couldn't there was something about this I had
to
discover. I sunk my teeth into the moist breakfast biscuit. It was
messy but
I didn't care. I wanted food.
"So you'll come back with me?" Bo questioned.
I thought about it for a
minute. I was uneasy about doing this. I didn't want to think I wasn't
secure in my dealings.
"No, not yet," I mumbled softly. At that
instant Bo jumped up and stood
above me. He had one of those stern Uncle Jesse looks on his face.
He then
wiped that look clear off his face.
"I'll get a job then. I'm out of school whereas
you're not. I hope this
isn't just your summer dream because you need your schooling,"
Bo stated.
"Go back to Hazzard! I don't want you here,"
I exclaimed. I knew he wasn't
about to let a 16 year old girl go out and forge for herself.
"Daisy, I'm not letting you drop out. You're
a smart cookie. I will take as
many jobs as it takes to put you through the last year. And another
thing,
you're getting a part time job."
"A job?"
"Yeah, we're going to need all the income
that we can get." I couldn't
believe this. Even on my own I was being commanded to do stuff. But
this
time it was here. It's a place I'd never been to.
"Okay." I stood up and wiped the crumbs
off my shirt. I wondered desperately
of what was going to happen. I might not have made the right decision.
I
mean I am a teenaged girl. Maybe I am doing this for all the wrong
reasons.
I don't know. I am scared.
How many times do they tell you that one day you'll
be on your own? Yet you
never think about it. All this time I thought it was a fantasy. Something
that teenaged people always want but don't ever get; oh well.
I don't know holding me back from my dreams. Is
it myself or my family? I
can't really say. All I know is that I am here right now.
Bo put a hand on my shoulder. He wanted to teach
me something but what? I
couldn't tell if he was making me love my home more or become an adult.
About a week later, I had a job. Bo ended up taking
two. One paid really
well though I didn't like it one bit. It was a dangerous job. Everyone
that
had worked there had either been stabbed or shot and I didn't want
my cousin
to go through that. I didn't want to watch someone in my family go
through
that either.
He was the best and the only one there for me.
Uncle Jesse sent us money
after Bo explained what was going on. He still wanted to support us.
It was
enough to pay rent on a nice apartment every month. This suited me
far more
than that rickety motel.
I was happy to be working where I was. It was a
small restaurant over by the
suburbs. I guess Bo knew the right spots for me. There was always something
to do. I had the best tips out of all the waitresses. I guess I'm good
at
it. My boss told me, "A lot of the people just come to see you."
He was
right.
There was this one man who earned very little money.
His name was Dallin.
This guy would come in every week though he had almost nothing. He
says,
"Your smile makes my week all the more pleasant. I have almost
nothing. But
I would save every nickel just to come and dine in your place."
I met a lot of new friends too. Bo always smiled
when I came into the room
with two girls coming right there behind me. They always would say,
"You're
lucky to have a cousin like Bo." And I was very lucky; Bo's the
best.
I look over at my cousin who sits at the old scratched
up table that we had
gotten at a pawn shop only few weeks ago. I watch as he whittles a
large
thick stick over the grey plastic trash can with his old pocket watch.
I
smile to myself recalling when he got that. It was seven years ago
when he
was only ten years old, Luke had given him that knife before he had
left for
war. Bo was so excited when he got it, but was quickly replaced with
sadness
and grief for losing his cousin, his best friend.
Watching him whittle, something he always does
when he is lost in thought,
usually over something such as missing Luke when he was away or in
a fight
with Jesse or in trouble with the law. I come to think of how he is
feeling
through all this, so far away from home. I never stopped to think of
how he
felt about this, but thought of what I felt and wanted. I feel ashamed
as I
see him so lost in thought, his baby blue eyes shine with sadness as
he
whittles along on the raw thick stick.
He never has been away from Jesse or the farm in
his life, he was taken in
right from the hospital since his mom lost her life in child birth
and his
dad, Jesse's brother, kind of lost it and ran off. He has always been
close
to Jesse and never was too far away from him...and now he is so many
miles
away from him and so long.
I watch him whittle silently, paying no attention
to nothing but to his
stick. My heart aches at the sight of how sad he is and how much he
must
miss Uncle Jesse and Luke. Luke was always his best friend and he looked
up
to him so much, Luke and Jesse was always had. Now he has nothing,
but me
and his two jobs that just may take his life!
Why? Because I was selfish and ran away; I didn't
plan on him following me.
I should have listened to him and went back, instead of taking my pride
and
sticking with living in the real world; at the age of sixteen! This
world in
Chicago is no place for a sixteen year old girl.
Slowly I stand and walk over to him where he is
sitting and slowly hug him
tightly. He glances up at me and I slowly find a seat next to him and
look
at him tiredly. "You miss them don't you?" I ask and he only
shrugs
returning to his whittling, "And you want to go home, don't you?"
"This is your show, not mine," he finally
says, "It's up to you, not me." I
look at him with admire for all that he has done for me, more than
I ever
thought he would. Now he is here sad and lonely, because I drug him
away
from the only place he knew and loved. Bo left the family he loves
so much,
even if he is with me who I know loves me so much, but Jesse is more
than an
uncle to us, but especially to him; so much more.
He looks up at me with his sad eyes and I know
what he is thinking about,
Jesse and Luke. He misses them as well as the work that he had done
one the
farm. Even if he was always in trouble with the law back home, he never
had
the risk of loosing his life due to it, none like his current job.
And due
to my decision to run away I placed him in it.
"Tell me the truth Bo! Do you want to stay here?" Daisy asked.
"I don't care either way princess. I have
no problems with being the older
brother," Bo remarked.
I knew he was hiding something. Bo hid his feelings
well but not from me. It
was as if he could express himself better to me or to Luke than anything
else. I don't know why he has such a good relationship with us but
he did. I
could totally read his mind by just looking into his blue eyes.
I really love my cousin and I didn't want him to
be hurt. He wanted me to
understand what was going on. I knew he did, Bo wanted me to learn
what it
was like. He had run off before and came back. He never did tell us
what
went on while he was gone but it showed on his face.
Well I looked into his eyes. "You're lying
through your teeth Bo Duke," I
mumbled.
"Well sweetie do you want to go back?" Bo asked.
"Yes...no...yes."
"Well what is it yes or no?" I thought
for a minute. I didn't want to say
anything. I didn't know if I wanted to go back. I wanted Bo to go back.
I
would rather him go back and leave me here. But would he?
He was just as stubborn as anyone. I mean Bo would
stay here and risk his
life for me? "Bo I want you to go back. You don't deserve to have
this
happen to you."
"Neither do you."
"What do you mean?"
"Well I'll tell you now. I am meant to protect
people. I am sworn to help
anyone that needs it. I need to be with you."
"You need to be home in your own bed."
Bo was quiet for a moment with one of
those Uncle Jesse looks on his face. He was so patient with me. I couldn’t
stand the silence anymore, I had to stand up and say something. “You
need to
be home and do what a normal person would do at your age. I don’t
want to
make you grow up too fast. Go home you need to be there.”
"And so do you. But you have decided to stay
so I will stay with you. I love
you Daisy and I am not about to let anything bad happen to you."
"Well I love you more than life Bo and I don't
want anything to happen to
you either. You have been dear to me but...I don't want you to suffer."
Anger rushes through me at his stubbornness and
for a moment I am struck
with how similar his personality is with Jesse's. They both are as
stubborn
as a pack of mules put together, a temper that is set off by about
anything,
yet can sweet talk their way out of about anything, they are both very
unpredictable in their ways and actions, and they both care very much
about
their family; keeping them the priority over everything else, including
themselves.
"Bo, you are not happy here, it is clear to
see. Why should you have to
suffer, because of me? I am a big girl, I can handle myself,"
I answer him
calmly. I realized then why I had left had been out of anger toward
Luke for
treating me childish. From Bo it came out different, more caring and
less
ordering as well with less authority in his voice that made me feel
like I
was in one of his Marine troops that he refuses to talk about.
"Just like how when that man was going to
steal your purse? Daisy, Chicago
is a big city and is a lot different than Hazzard," he sighs hesitantly,
"I
know you can handle yourself, but in Chicago? If you really want to
move you
could have just moved in with that friend of yours in those apartments?
There you would be on your own and it would be in a place close to
home and
where you wouldn't have a chance to get mugged or shot. People get
shot over
their purses here. But I am not going until you decide it is time to
go not
me or what I think .What I think doesn't matter at the moment, it is
what
you think."
I look at him as he continues to whittle on the
stick and as he moves his
elbow off the table I see a photo of Jesse, him, Luke, and me that
was taken
at a town picnic last year. What have I done? I have taken him so far
away
and for my own selfish reasons. Though I didn't make him follow me,
but I
know I had an idea in my head that he would do such a thing. He has
always
been there to stick up for me, make sure that I wouldn't get hurt or
anything.
"I don't know," I finally say, feeling
like I am pouting, "If I go home all
that is going to happen is going back to being treated like I am a
little
girl once again by Luke. He won't even let me go on a date without
following
us or embarrassing him away.
He shakes his head slowly, continuing to look away
from me and into the
garbage can. "I talked to him the other day, told him how you
feel. He is
real sorry Daisy, and if you were here to hear him, you would know
jus how
sorry he was or is," he finally says, "he never meant for
you to feel this
way, he just cares."
"So do I, but I don't ask his girlfriends
all those silly questions and
follow him on his dates," I answer him sarcastically and suddenly
see his
hurt feelings by my remark. He seems to take everything that everyone
says
about Luke personal. Bo looks up to Luke, adores him so much; as much
as he
does with Jesse.
"I tol' you Daisy that it is your move. I
can’t make decisions for you," he
says hastily, "and I was just giving you what he felt. Luke isn't
the worst
guy you know? He loves you and doesn't want you to get hurt. It is
difficult
for him at the moment with all he say over seas only a few months ago!
You
don't have to be so hard on him!"
With that he gets up and walks into his bed room,
closing the door behind
him. Slowly I sit where he was sitting and look at the photo, what
he said
rolls through my head on how angry I made him feel by my sarcastic
remarks
toward Luke. I know he misses them so much and what I said doesn't
help
anything.
Knowing what to do me slowly get up and walk to
his bed room door to get no
answer. I sigh wishing to know what to do with everything; everything
seems
so distorted, so out of order. Bo came down to help me, not by ordering
me
to go back to Hazzard with him, but by giving me the responsibilities
that I
would be facing in the real world, giving me reality in itself. And
yet, I
have continued through my selfish ways and haven't thought of how I
made
Luke or Jesse feel, but how I felt.
"Bo?" I question and as I don't get any
answer I open the door to find
sitting on his bed, his back facing me. As I walk closer I find him
thumbing
through an old photo book that Jesse must have lent him to bring along.
"I'm
sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset by my remark. It is just how
I feel."
He shrugs looking down at the photos and I slowly
sit down besides him,
looking at them as he goes along. He’s looking at the old pictures
from our
baby pictures and up, memories flow through my head of the past and
of
Hazzard. He continues to flip the pages and I look up at him to find
a tear
in his eye that he quickly wipes away, too proud to show his pain and
sadness that is so apparent. "When did you talk to Luke?"
I finally say to
break the silence.
"This morning while you were at school, he
called me at work," he adds
hesitantly.
"He called you at work?" I question him,
memories continue to flow of all
the love that was shared in the family, between all four of us and
yet I
threw it away over night, because I couldn't stand how Luke treated
me.
He nods before looking over at me, hugging me with
his right arm. I look up
at him wonder why he could be so angry and upset at me at the same
time to
hug me. "Daisy, Uncle Jesse had a heart attack this morning,"
he says
sullenly and I gasp aloud as my heart tightens painfully tight, "Luke
says
that it was a minor one that could have been a lot worse. Daisy, he
had a
heart attack and there is nothing I can do!"
I feel tears of sadness and guilt hit me as Bo
lets his tears flow freely
down and I can hear his thinking, his guilt of not being there for
his uncle
as he always has been.
My chest tightened. I couldn't move. It felt as
if somebody ripped a big
hole inside me and stole my heart. I cringed on the bed. Sobbing further
than my hearts content; I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn't
think, I
couldn't breathe. Bo looked at me sobbing on the bed. He looked at
me softly
suddenly his eyes widening. I didn’t understand why at first.
"Daisy!" Bo screamed. I fell into a deep
dizziness. A sleep like state that
I couldn’t get out of; I blacked out totally.
~End Chapter One~