News

Hey y’all, our web hosting service will be performing planned maintenance August 6 between 1 and 4 a.m. EST. During that time, you may not be able to reach HazzardNet. Sorry for any inconvenience.

July 26 is the birthday of James Best, who despite being old enough to know better, still remains one of the most rowdy personalities anywhere to be found. His amazing Hollywood tenure spans westerns, sci-fi, dramas, and of course the Dukes of Hazzard. While many of us know and love him as Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane of Hazzard County, his real-life stories are even more incredible. We’ve been privileged to hear a few of them first-hand; but they’re best told by Jimmie himself. Get the accounts right from Rosco himself by reading his new book, “Best in Hollywood.” Meanwhile, stop by our Forums and leave him a birthday message! Khee!

We’ll get right to that, but first off, our apologies for the dry spell with the homepage updates.  Rather than give you our long-winded explanations, just chalk it up to another spontaneous leave of absence by one of our administrators, followed by the unplanned sabbatical of another, followed by MaryAnne eventually forcing our return after she got tired of doing all the work around here by herself. 

Now then!  We can’t hardly get back to business around heah without making mention of the economic mess that’s got the whole country mired down.  The government has thrown some big money around, but jobs are vanishing, the housing market is sinking, and getting a loan for anything is pretty darn tough.  Where will it all end?  We’re afraid to look and find out.   But we got a good idea what it might take to reverse the present course. 

Ya see, Hazzard County never had much economic upheaval.   That’s because the money supply was well-controlled and orderly and everybody knew what role they played in the system.  We might take a page outta Boss’s book to set things right. 

First off, we’ll need to tax the bejeezus out of poor people and the working class.  That’s right.  Trickle-up economics.  Keep the money supply flowing up into the government pockets.   This ensures a steady source of revenue so the government can invest in a wide range of self-serving programs. 

If Boss was in control of the Federal government today, you can bet that outsourcing of jobs to countries overseas would grind to a halt, because the minimum wage in the United States would be back to fifty cents an hour.  Benefits would include having a job and not much else.   Imagine the new opportunities that would open up, though, as giddy employers start hiring people left and right.

Handling the foreclosure crisis would also be easy for Boss.  The government would simply buy every house at every foreclosure sale and become your landlord as well as your tax collector.  Imagine, renting from Uncle Hogg.  The American Dream will not be dead, but it’ll be limpin’ along towards the ditch by then.   But ya gotta admit, having a steady buyer for those surplus houses would prop up the housing market, and at fifty cents an hour, that government housing program could start looking good. 

Retirement is also simple in Boss Hogg’s world.  You get to retire when you’re fired and not a moment before.  

You know times are getting tough when we’re willing to give Hogg o’ nomics a chance.  And why not, it’s worked at HazzardNet for years.

On this Memorial Day, we pause to show our gratitude to those who have made sacrifices for our personal freedoms, whether they sacrificed time with their families, put their careers on hold, or gave the ultimate sacrifice in the line of duty. We thank you, men and women of the Armed Forces, for all that you do to keep us safe.

Our forums will be down for maintenance tonight at 11pm Pacific/2am Eastern, probably for a few hours. The forums will also be down tomorrow night (Saturday) at the same time for any follow up maintenance.

Thank you for your patience!