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Dale The Bold

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Everything posted by Dale The Bold

  1. He'll probably lose his virginity in the first movie. Because in the Hollywood mind, it's physically impossible to wait for marriage.
  2. In One Armed Bandits, they stole Boss Hogg's illegal slot machines. They were breaking the law, but it was in order to prevent someone else from breaking the law. And they gave those slot machines to charity. So they stole from the corrupted rich and gave to the poor. Like Robin Hood, only in a modern setting. Technically, Robin Hood was a thief, but if you break the law for the better good, you're a hero. Heck, even the American Revolution was a bunch of lawless rebels standing up agaisnt the government. I think a person who could stop a crook, but chooses not to is guilty by their inaction. The moral of the story...fight the system. 8)
  3. In the eighties, the execs wanted the Dukes cancelled, but they couldn't because the audience made it a top ten show. Now, the execs like the movie so much they're planning a sequel without even knowing how the audience will react. Let me guess, in the sequel, the execs want the Dukes to be vegetarian animal rights activists who are on a mission to torch the local slaughterhouse, but they find that it's a front for a crack house and the Dukes promptly smoke enough crack to kill a horse, and it results in a typical movie party that resembles an orgy. Then "Luke" dares "Bo" to eat poop just as he lights a fart that burns the place down. Then they drive off in an electric powered car with a peace symbol on top.
  4. Moonrunners was alright. It didn't really have the comic relief we get from Boss and Rosco, but the guys were all pretty cool, though they weren't as good of guys as Bo and Luke later became. And it had that same vibe of good ol' boys outsmarting someone trying to get the best of them. As for the new movie, I think Moonrunners will end up being a better movie because it is more of an action movie. And the series had all action and coolness around the Dukes and the comedy from Boss and Rosco, while the movie has made the Duke boys the buffoons instead of Rosco. The movie won't have the coolness to comedy ratio of the series, it will replace the coolness with bad comedy, making it comedy and bad comedy. In all fairness, Moonrunners had no Moonrunners series preceding it. So they couldn't ruin an established franchise. Broken Lizard seems to be almost deliberately ruining the movie.
  5. What's next? Is the Broken Lizard crew going to do the next Superman movie and have Superman be a gay rapist? Or remake The Passion of the Christ and have Jesus rob people and cast evil spells for revenge? The only use of pot smokers in this movie is maybe as the bad guys. In fact, they DID that episode in the Dukes series. As a bona fide country boy, I hate dirtball druggies, so I can't stand the notion of good ol' boys being portrayed as losers who are so mentally weak that they have to resort to chemical shut-down of the brain in order to acheive happiness. Especially Uncle Jesse. This is probably the worst thing they could do. I'd rather see the Dukes accidentally kill someone, because at least that is a plot twist. But the drug thing is just a slap in the face to rural America and fans of traditional good ol' boy respect for themselves and others. I think we should petition WB to re-title this movie, to show that it's a mockery and a parody. "Broken Lizard Presents The Hippies of Hazzard" for example. Then next year, they could make a Dukes of Hazzard movie. I really really hope this review is a joke intended to get us to storm the studio with torches and pitchforks. Because if it is, it worked on me. Now, where did I leave my pitchfork?
  6. The same could be argued that the Herbie movie would help increase the interest in a car movie, serving as the perfect advertisement for moviegoers to come to the theater the next night to see the Dukes movie.
  7. Meth? What kind os stupid quesiton was that? Well, at least it gave Ben Jones an opportunity to give a perfect answer to such a stupid question.
  8. We all know that the casting director could have done a better job with a list of names, a blindfold, and a dart, but I would imagine that most people here are planning on buying the Season 3 DVD set, which comes with a free ticket to the movie. But make sure that you buy it before the movie comes out, those "free tickets" are usually only valid during opening week. That way, we can complain about the apparent flaws in the upcoming movie and still not have to hear "just give it a chance." Because we can plan on seeing the movie without having to pay for a ticket, still be giving it a chance, and not have to compromise our expectations for Hollywood not to deviate from their perfect record of consistently doing a cheap makeover on a classic. Everybody wins.
  9. I recorded it off the TV back in the day. One of these days, I will probably burn it to DVD. I started it once, but I had a computer crash.
  10. That's because Flash looks to be cast correctly. As for Rosco, it looks like they screwed that one up too. But Rosco is less of an icon of the show. That being said, he is part of it and we should also add that they screwed that up toby finding a guy who wants to reinterpret the role. But it's a smaller issue that the other huge screw ups, that's why it's complained about less. It's like finding a fly in your worm soup.
  11. Hey, don't post naked photos. That photo is a car in restoration. You can weld together a "jump car" pretty easily and not care how ugly it is, but a car worth restoring for the long haul is not going to be "restored" in the same manner as the jump car. The $30K is mostly insurance for the fans. There was a million dollar policy to cover any lawsuits that would happen if that car landed in the crowd. The car itself was donated, which tells you a lot. Chargers are not easy to come by, and even a crusty one is worth some decent money. Theoretically, any Charger is possible to restore, but you would be hard pressed to find a buyer for that car because the restoration cost would far exceed the value of the car. The fact remains that the car would have seen the crusher by now, as many other Chargers have since. It's tragic, but the scrap metal is worth more dollars than the car itself. For what it's worth, that car remains in its crashed state. It was purchased by a fan prior to the jump and is not being altered or parted out.
  12. I think in addition to that, Catherine Bach has a sweetness about her personality that came out in the character. When she would tease a guy and laugh, it was sweet as could be. I remember when she was driving Uncle Jesse's truck and blocking the bad guys. They shouted "Move MOVE!" and she replied with "I'm trying sir!" She delivered that perfectly, and I think we often saw Cathy Bach on screen, not a character she was playing. Call it the "Daisy Duke" factor.
  13. It seems like the entertainment industry lost all sense of what the audience wants. It must come from catering to the decision-makers at the top for too long. What is the purpose of casting such a key role with an established celebrity? Much like singers, actors put their "version" of a classic into a role instead of just delivering what the audience wants to see. Most of the time, it comes across as a cheap remake, much like a Michael Bolton song--tolerable, but the original was much better. We go to see a Dukes of Hazzard movie expecting the Dukes of Hazzard. If they want to reinterpret it, call it something else, the Dukes of Haphazard, for example. If they want to bring us a film that captures the very reason we loved the show, find people who want to make a big first impression in Hollywood. Bo, Luke, and Daisy should have all been cast with unknown, hard-working young actors, of which there is an abundance. Then fill the roles of Jesse, Boss, and Rosco with the big names. On that same note, independent films are becoming a huge market for a reason. They know what the audience wants. They are closer to the audience, as they haven't sold their souls yet. Mark my words, the next "Titanic" will be from an independent writer and/or director.
  14. Jessica Simpson is ugly by Hollywood standards. If she was an unknown actress auditioning for the role, the first words she'd hear are "get that broken nose fixed." That's the standard of Hollywood. If she were some girl on the street, she'd be average, but in Hollywood, she's too ugly. There are a lot of prettier girls who are also COUNTRY girls that would be far more appropriate for the role. America is full of 'em, and yet they cast this movie as though "star power" was required. As if to say the Dukes of Hazzard and/or the script weren't strong enough on their own. You could hang a coat on that beak!
  15. Maybe I need to clarify a bit. The restoration of the car was done on a car that was a parts car at best. That car was donated for the cause, that's how little it was worth. As far as being a bondo bucket, I use that term for a car that has an obscene amount of bondo in it. When this car landed (correctly, I must add) some members of the audience were literally hit by chunks of bondo. Not law-suit hit, but the point is that the ratio of bondo to steel in that car was ridiculously high. Better cars than that are crushed on a regular basis. I've seen photos of it before the "restoration." If someone paid $30K for that car, they got ripped off several times. The largest cost for this event was insurance. Getting permits and such was also said to be a major headahce (I don't know about the expense). The resoration may have been donated, that part I'm not sure on. It had a full cage for safety. The jump "replicated" the original only by jumping over Rosco's car. And I literally mean Rosco's car. The police car they jumped over is the very same car that was jumped over 25 years earlier in Covington, in that famous "yeeha" jump at the end of hte opening credits. Back then, they hadn't established the best way to jump a car. The Dukes of Hazzard was a huge influence on stunt safety, and even a type of harness was invented by the stunt crew while doing the series. So doing an exact jump like the Seney Hall jump would be a sure way to get an injury. And considering that the very same stunt crew did this jump as worked on the show, they knew what they were doing. I wish they would release stunt footage from the series. I would bet that the majority of later jumps looked like that footage, proving that crumpling metal is a much better cushion than just slamming down flat onthe ground.
  16. It must be working. Sony has decided not to release the film, not even on DVD. Warner Bros., however, still intends to release it. Maybe we should go after them next.
  17. My favorite '69 Charger? I'd say a base Charger, painted like the General Lee, dual glasspacks, a manual tranny, and a tuned 528 hemi hiding under the hood.
  18. The General Lee with the engine in the back seat is the famous "Wheel Stander General Lee" which was built for the show back in the 80s. General Lee would have been seen doing a wheelie if the series had lasted another season. That was not the car used in the 2003 Covington jump. That car was a bondo bucket that was "restored" for that purpose. The stunt driver was Corey Eubanks, one of the original stunt drivers from the show. There was no weight in the trunk because they wanted it to land on it's nose. The jump went perfectly. The car landed on it's nose exactly as planned and the car body crumpled, taking the brunt of the impact, giving Corey a much softer landing than a flat landing. Then next year, Corey jumped another General Lee at Dukesfest '04, setting yet another world record for the General Lee.
  19. Yeah, there have been many James Bonds, but this is like James Bond being played by Paul Reubens. I've seen many Dukes fans telling other fans not to complain about the cast. As a fan who is disappointed with the cast, I certainly plan to see the movie. I plan to be objective, as I think it still could be an excellent movie. But even if it does better than Titanic and Star Wars combined, I hope it does the series justice. I don't want this one-of-a-kind show to be redefined or watered down into yet another low brow urban take on rural America. Kind of like how Dodge recently redefined the "Charger." We heard the rumors in advance, we grumbled about it, then they unveiled it, and we were prepared for that awful sight. It would have been great if we had been pleasantly surprised. So it's healthy to be prepared for the worst. If I'm wrong, I will be delighted. If the movie is a disappointment, I can say "Yeah, I was prepared for that." I am looking forward to the release of the film either way. By the end of the summer I can say I thought it was poorly cast and people will actually take that for what it's worth. The film could be a masterpiece and the fact will remain that a more appropriate cast would have made it better. The world is full of non-celebrities, many of which would have been a lot more Duke-ish than the famous faces they spent the big bucks on.
  20. The original series had planned on a blonde actress to play Daisy Duke, therefore some see fit to have a movie with a blonde Daisy. However, I think those same people should also insist that the General Lee be a gray car with a double-number on the door (like 99), a confederate flag on the hood, and be called Traveller, because that was the original plan for the Dukes car.
  21. Some people hate ALL blacks because they know of some black people who did awful things. We call them racist. Some people hate ALL people who display the confederate flag because they know of some people who do awful things in the name of the flag. Are they flagists? I find it very hypocritical for people to make terrible generalizations about the flag. Prejudice is a terrible thing, and they don't think about how serious of an accusation it is to imply that someone is racist. To me, the flag actually means the opposite of what they think. I see it as a symbol of standing up against corruption. Basically that, no matter the odds, you stand up for what is right. That is what the South meant by it when they wanted to secede from the Northern states. They felt that the North was reaping all the financial benefits while their economy suffered. They wanted equality, so they rose up against corruption. That is exactly the context that the Dukes of Hazzard demonstrated with their use of the flag. People should respond to that flag with a thumbs up and say "Yeah, fight the system!"
  22. Starting next Fall, Byron Cherry will take over the role of Jonathon Kent on Smallville and Christopher Mayer is currently Tom Wopat's understudy on Broadway. No, I'm not serious.
  23. The equation is simple. Get as close to Waylon Jennings as possible. My first choice would be Kris Kristofferson because not only is he one of the Highwaymen, he sounds a bit like Waylon. All these deep baritone voices are perfect for lulling me to sleep. Even an interview with Toby Keith makes me feel bored, even when I find what he's saying interesting. Waylon had so much character in his voice that he could hold your attention all day, just telling stories. I suggest getting a sound-alike.
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